10 Do’s and Don’ts for Dads

Ten Dos and Don’ts for Dads

1. Connect before you correct.
Part of every Dad’s role is to bring a healthy sense of structure and discipline to the family. Communicating with your child, which includes listening to their “side” of the issue, is a key first step in successful, loving discipline.

2. Be there.
One of the great myths is that a little “quality” time makes up for a substantial “quantity” of time. Going to school, sporting and other events is a big deal! It says – “I have your best interests at the center of my heart” to your child. Don’t think only about your own affairs, but be interested in others, too, and what they are doing. ~ Philippians 2:4

3. Express love often.
Kids (especially pre-teens and teens) act like they don’t want their parents to “make a fuss” over them. It’s just an act. Kids need hugs and kisses … affirm them at every opportunity.

4. Phony, macho men are only heroes in the movies.
Real Dads aren’t perfect. You can be a hero to your children if you open your heart to them and admit when you’ve made mistakes. They have an enormous capacity to forgive and their hearts’ desire is to love and be loved. People who cover over their sins will not prosper. But if they confess and forsake them, they will receive mercy. ~ Proverbs 28:13

5. Never make your child choose between parents.
If you have problems with your wife, don’t try to convince your child that you’re “right” or the “victim.” This causes an emotional split in your child and will ultimately drive him or her further away from you. Confine the adult issues to the adults.

6. Love your wife.
The greatest Dad in the world will minimize the true impact he has on his children if he does not model Godly intimacy in front of his kids. That’s where the cornerstone of their future marriage is laid. Since God chose you to be the holy people whom He loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. You must make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you … And the most important piece of clothing you must wear is love. Love is what binds us all together in perfect harmony. ~ Colossians 3:12-14

7. Be consistent.
When you are consistent in your actions, love and discipline, an environment of safety and security is created. Kids need to know that there are some things they can always count on. Discipline your child while there is hope. If you don’t, you will ruin their lives. ~ Proverbs 19:18

8. Be careful, you’re in the spotlight.
Your kids are watching every move you make. To some extent, their picture of you shapes their picture of their Heavenly Father. You have the opportunity to create a positive, loving image or a confusing and untrustworthy one. Instead, there must be a spiritual renewal of your thoughts and attitudes. You must display a new nature because you are a new person, created in God’s likeness – righteous, holy and true. ~ Ephesians 4:23,24

9. Guard your tongue.
The words you speak to your children can cut like a knife or send them soaring like a rocket. They will remember some things you say in passing for the rest of their lives. Kind words are like honey – sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.
~ Proverbs 16:24

10. Develop Godly character.
Nothing will influence your children more than watching you grow in your relationship with God. You can preach the Gospel by your actions much more effectively than you can by your words. And now, just as you accepted Christ Jesus as your Lord, you must continue to live in obedience to Him. Let your roots grow down into Him and draw up nourishment from Him, so you will grow in faith, strong and vigorous in the truth you were taught. Let your lives overflow with thanksgiving for all He has done. ~ Colossians 2:6,7

For more information on fatherhood and parenthood, consider some of these resources:

How we Love our Kids
Raising Great Kids
Bad Dads of the Bible


Dating Under Control

Dating Under Control

When a woman or girl dates someone who seems to have authority or power in the relationship, her sense of self-worth can be threatened. Dr. Sheri Keffer and Steve Arterburn talk about young women protecting their own value and the need for young men to honor them. Click on the image below to watch.



Spotting a Narcissist

Spotting a Narcissist

It’s pretty common to call someone a narcissist, but it often refers a person who is simply acting self-centered. True narcissism is a personality type combining extreme selfishness with grandiose thoughts and a few other defining characteristics. Dr. Jill Hubbard and Steve Arterburn help us define the term. Click on the image to watch now.


Judgement and Grace

Judgement and Grace

A New Life TV subscriber named Lynn wrote in with two different questions: one about feeling judged for expressing Christian beliefs, and another about grace. These are two really important topics so Steve Arterburn thought he would answer them both. Click on the image below to listen his response.


Transform your Marriage

Transform your Marriage

Could your childhood be a stumbling block in your marriage?

Milan and Kay Yerkovich are two great counselors who enthusiastically share their journey as a couple. The first 15 years of their marriage were difficult. They weren’t sure why, until they journeyed back to their childhoods and discovered differences that were driving a wedge between them. Theirs is an amazing story of transformation that could illuminate struggles in your own life. I think you’ll find this video incredibly helpful. Click on the image below to watch.


Preparing our Daughters for Battle

Preparing our Daughters for Battle

Shannon Ethridge joins Steve Arterburn to talk about the important task of teaching daughters how to set boundaries and be assertive to protect themselves emotionally and sexually before they even start dating. If you have a young daughter do not miss this. Click on the image to watch.


Why do we yell at our kids?

Why Do We Yell at our Kids

Dr. Dave Stoop has some interesting observations on the evolution of discipline, and he offers some steps you can take to make sure that you make amends if you verbally cross the line with your kids. Watch NOW!

Divorce Proof your Marriage

Divorce Proof Your Marriage

Divorce is an all-too-common reality in our society. How can we protect our marriages? Dr. Dave Stoop has a few simple methods to keep couples together, and there are even studies to prove they work. Click the image below for the answer to how to divorce-proof your marriage!


The Selfish Act of Forgiving

Many people don’t quite understand how the concept of forgiveness works. Dr. Dave Stoop is an expert.  A New Life TV subscriber asked him to explain why Jesus taught that by forgiving others, we help ourselves the most. It’s an important concept. Take a minute and watch the video. Click on the image below to watch.


Surrendering Our Shame

Surrendering your shame to God is a powerful act. Our Lord doesn’t want you to wallow in shame, He wants you to live in His grace and accept forgiveness. Check out this video on surrendering our shame. Click on the image below to watch.