Starving The Eyes

New Life Ministries

To attain sexual purity as we defined it, we must starve our eyes of the bowls of sexual gratification that come from outside our marriage. When you starve your eyes and eliminate ‘junk sex‘ from your life, you’ll deeply crave ‘real food‘ ‘ your wife. And no wonder. She’s the only thing in the cupboard, and you’re hungry!

This newfound hunger will shock her. She has been accustomed to providing you five bowls a week, primarily through physical foreplay and sexual intercourse. Things were at equilibrium. Suddenly you need an extra five bowls from her. For no apparent reason, you come calling for intercourse twice as often.

The challenge every man faces, The fight every man can win!

If this were all there was to it, it wouldn’t seem so mysterious. To women, men always want more sex than they’re getting! But there’s more to it. Since your visual gratification now pours only from her, she’s looking very good to you. Perhaps you haven’t looked at her quite like this since you were newlyweds. While this sensation is vaguely pleasant to her, it can also be a tad jarring. Has he been taking aphrodisiacs? She wonders. She doesn’t quite know what to do, except to send you outside to play with the kids while she undresses in the master bathroom.

And it’s not just the looking. Once you’re winning the battle, you’ll be saying things you haven’t uttered for years like, ‘I can’t wait for tonight, baby.’ All your imaginative creativity now blossoms upon your marriage bed, not in some fantasy world. You’ll be fully enamored with her!

Again, this is vaguely pleasant to her, but she’s also troubled. Where are these new ideas coming from? She may wonder. Has he been having an affair? What’s going on?

She’ll probably ask you what’s going on, and once she learns what’s cooking, you’ll both need to find a new sexual equilibrium. The extra five bowls from outside the marriage must now be provided from inside the marriage.

For more help on this subject, see Every Man’s Battle.

God is Waiting

New Life Ministries

Each one of us has been manipulated by our sexual culture; each of us has made choices to sin. To varying degrees, each of us became ensnared by these choices, but we can overcome this affliction. Far too often, however, we ignore our own responsibility in this. We complain, ‘Well, of course I want to be free from impurity! I’ve been to the altar 433 times about it haven’t I? It just doesn’t seem to be God’s will to free me.’

Not God’s will? That’s an offense to the character of God. Don’t blame God.

God’s will is for you to have sexual purity, though you may not think so since this hasn’t been your constant experience. But He has made a provision for that purity. Listen to these scriptures:


Count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.
Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that
you obey its evil desires. Do not offer the parts of your body
to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves
to God, as those who have been brought from death to life;
and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of
righteousness. For sin shall not be your master, because you
are not under law, but under grace.
Romans 6:11-14

You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.
Romans 6:18

God is waiting for you. But He is not waiting by the altar, hoping you’ll drop by and talk for a while. He is waiting for you to rise up and engage in the battle. We have power through the Lord to overcome every level of sexual immorality, but if we don’t utilize that power, we’ll never break free of the habit.

You see, sexual impurity isn’t like a tumor growing out of control inside us. We treat it that way when our prayers focus on deliverance, as we plead for someone to come remove it. Actually, sexual impurity is a series of bad decisions on our part ‘ a result of immature character ‘ and deliverance won’t deliver you into instant maturity. Character work needs to be done.

Holiness is not some nebulous thing. It’s a series of right choices. You needn’t wait for some holy cloud to form around you. You’ll be holy when you choose not to sin. You’re already free from the power of sexual immorality; you are not yet free from the habit of sexual immorality, until you choose to be ‘ until you say, ‘That’s enough! I’m choosing to live purely!’

What’s the first step? Attend Every Man’s Battle.

Our Divided Hearts

Excerpted from “Every Man Ministries” by Kenny Luck

Walt Disney’s cast of animated characters is well known ‘ or, dare I say, burned into our childhood and adult psyches. The all-time favorite in our home (as well as Disney’s all-time box-office champion) is The Lion King. By proxy, I have watched this story of Simba, the little lion who would be king, at least a million times. But it wasn’t until a few years ago that I caught on to the powerful theme beating at the center of the story. It’s a theme that vividly illustrates my spiritual journey and battles, and perhaps yours as well.

Simba, born the son of a lion king named Mufasa, revels in his identity and the future possibilities of royalty. As the song goes, he ‘just can’t wait to be king!’ But when envious Uncle Scar engineers Mufasa’s death and blames it on Simba, the young lion is deceived into thinking that he must leave the kingdom and never return. In exile, lonely and ashamed, he is befriended by Pumba, a big-hearted warthog, and Timon, a manic meerkat.

Simba finds a new family, a new home, and a new way of thinking ‘ all of which help him disguise his past and his true identity.

We are more
than what
we have become!

But while Simba assembles the trappings of a new identity, his true self dogs him, prompting deep conflicts within his heart. In an awkward but telling moment, he denies this father, and in turning his back on his father, Simba denies his true identity. The charade eats away at him until this encounter with a wise, prophetlike baboon named Rafiki:

Simba: Stop following me. Who are you?

Rafiki:
The question is, Who are you?

Simba:
I thought I knew, but now I am not so sure.

Rafiki:
Well, I know who you are.

Simba:
I think you’re a little confused.

Rafiki:
Wrong! I am not the one who is confused. You don’t even know who you are.

Simba (walking away): Oh, and I suppose you do?
Rafiki: You’re Mufasa’s boy!

Simba’s jukebox has been unplugged. Eager yet afraid to reclaim his identity, Simba follows Rafiki through a dark jungle that leads to a water’s edge. Peering into the water, Rafiki helps Simba take a long, hard look. As the young but maturing lion stares at his own reflection, he sees the face of his father, Mufasa, overtake his image.

‘You see’he lives in you,’ says Rafiki with great wisdom.

We are caught between
divided loyalties and competing identities
which cause conflicting angst.

It’s at this pivotal moment that Simba’s father comes in a cloud and speaks into his son’s confusion (voiced by James Earl Jones at his deepest and best).

Mufasa: Simba!

Simba: Father?

Mufasa: Simba, you have forgotten me.

Simba:
No. How could I?

Mufasa:
You have forgotten who you are and so have forgotten me. Look inside yourself, Simba. You are more than what you have become.

Mufasa nails the general feeling that grings away at most Christian men. We are more than what we have become. We, too, are caught between divided loyalties and competing identities ‘ real ones and false ones ‘ which cause conflicting angst. Like Simba, our time for talking has passed because God is finished listening to the reasons why we can’t move forward. Our divided hearts must be confronted, or as Psalm 86:11 calls out, ‘Give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.’

Need help reclaiming your true identity? Join us at our next Every Man’s Battle workshop.