Thinking Things Through

Steve Arterburn

Is your marriage a delight to you’or is your career or your hobby what really charges your engines? Do you exist in marriage for your wife, or does she exist to serve and further your interests and desires? Where do your greatest passions lie?

 

Guys, these are important questions you must ask yourself from time to time. But truth be told, you’re not always as skilled as you could be about examining your life. Furthermore, you’re not always as honest as you should be about the difference between what you formally profess to be true and the values you affirm by our day-to-day decisions and actions.

Therefore, I want to pose several questions for you to ponder over the next several days to help you discern the health of your marriage. My hope is that they’ll help you identify any areas and issues that need your attention. 

  • Does your wife’s face brighten when you enter the room? Does she rise to kiss you?
  • Does your wife long for your embrace? Does she love to chat with you, even about the so-called little things of life?
  • When her feelings have been hurt, or her dreams have been shattered, is it you that she seeks or does she turn elsewhere?
  • Do you guard her honor and preserve the integrity of your marriage, even when she’s out of sight?

Men, your wife’s a gift from God’a true treasure. Love and honor her accordingly!

The ‘Why’ Of Romance

Steve Arterburn

Guys, if there’s any area in which we need to study our wives in order to serve them better, it’s in the department of romance. Romance inspires her and brings feelings of marital intimacy to the surface.

Yet ask most guys what romance is and he’ll begrudgingly mumble something about candlelight dinners and roses. But it’s more than that. In fact, for some men, it might not be candlelight dinners and roses at all. That’s because the chief ingredient of romance is knowing what special thing sparks her romantic motor.

But why is romance so important to our wives? Perhaps the best way to answer this is by considering a different question: why is respect so important to us? The answer to both questions: it’s how we’re made. It’s what makes us tick.

Therefore, for the vast majority of women, going through marriage without romance is the equivalent to how a man would feel having to go through life without respect. In other words, much of the color of life disappears, and everything turns to gray.

Guys, that’s why it’s so important for us to study how to cultivate romance with our wives; and in particular, how to do this in a way that is according to each of our wives’ own personality and liking. This is an important aspect of giving our wives the sacrificial love we’re called to offer, and that they deserve to receive.

Submitting To Scripture

Steve Arterburn

Men, no one in your home should be better and quicker at submitting to what Scripture teaches than you. In a recent marriage class several women were asked, ‘What’s the one thing that impresses you most about your husband?’ One woman responded, ‘[My husband] is much quicker to submit to the teaching of Scripture than I am. He’s quick to fix anything in his life that he feels doesn’t line up with Scripture. He has always been submissive to God’s ways, and this makes me trust him and feel one with him.’

This woman’s husband leads by example. What could possibly be more fitting or effective? And did you pick up on the security this woman feels because her husband is receptive and responsive to God’s word? Guys, this woman’s not the exception; she’s the norm. When you submit to Scripture, it fortifies your wife’s trust and respect for you. And note the irony here: even though Scripture exposes your flaws, your wife’s trust and respect grows’as does her willingness to give you the benefit of the doubt when needed. So long, that is, as you’re submitting to God.

On the other hand, your failure to submit to Scripture invites disorder, confusion, and fear into your home. It puts a formidable stumbling block in your pathway to oneness’not only with your wife, but with all members of your family. To put is plainly, men, God is not pleased with spiritual leaders who harbor sin.