Thinking Things Through

Steve Arterburn

Is your marriage a delight to you’or is your career or your hobby what really charges your engines? Do you exist in marriage for your wife, or does she exist to serve and further your interests and desires? Where do your greatest passions lie?

 

Guys, these are important questions you must ask yourself from time to time. But truth be told, you’re not always as skilled as you could be about examining your life. Furthermore, you’re not always as honest as you should be about the difference between what you formally profess to be true and the values you affirm by our day-to-day decisions and actions.

Therefore, I want to pose several questions for you to ponder over the next several days to help you discern the health of your marriage. My hope is that they’ll help you identify any areas and issues that need your attention. 

  • Does your wife’s face brighten when you enter the room? Does she rise to kiss you?
  • Does your wife long for your embrace? Does she love to chat with you, even about the so-called little things of life?
  • When her feelings have been hurt, or her dreams have been shattered, is it you that she seeks or does she turn elsewhere?
  • Do you guard her honor and preserve the integrity of your marriage, even when she’s out of sight?

Men, your wife’s a gift from God’a true treasure. Love and honor her accordingly!

Working Toward A Career

Steve Arterburn

More and more women are now working outside the home. Therefore, a growing number of men are being called upon to help their wives prepare for and manage this aspect of her role. This, of course, constitutes an important area where husbands must learn to think and act sacrificially for the good of their marriages and families.

Listen to this testimony by Joanne, a wife and mother in her third year of graduate school: ‘I couldn’t succeed in this challenge if it weren’t for my husband’s constant support when I’m in class and when I have to barricade myself in my room to do homework. He feeds the kids, helps with their homework, and runs them where they need to go. I can’t explain the relief I feel when I know he’s stepping in’He never ever pouts or acts put out that he has to do more. I feel so responsible for my family that if he did these things for me grudgingly, I would feel defeated very quickly. Because he helps me with a cheerful attitude, I feel a lightness inside that help me get through the day.’

Joanne’s husband is a wise leader. They’ve made a decision that, in their particular situation, her return to school is in the best interest of their family. And this decision requires him to think and act sacrificially. He knows his family’s needs, and his wife’s insecurities, and tends to them accordingly. That’s a real man.

Consistency In Spiritual Leadership

Steve Arterburn

Men, not only should you be comfortable in leading your family in worship, you should be the most consistent among them when it comes to cultivating your own personal life of worship. Remember, the character and quality of our public leadership is a direct by-product of the character and quality of our private discipleship. You simply can’t give your family what you don’t possess yourself.

Men, consistency in private discipleship brings intimacy with the Lord; and intimacy with the Lord puts you in the position to bring life and truth to your family. Without it, you’ll have little fresh understanding with which to guide them.

How consistent are you when it comes to praying? How consistently do you lead your family in Bible study and prayer? Sure, no one’s busier than you. I know that, and I share your predicament. But the simple reality remains: each of us must make it a top priority to carve out time in our day-to-day lives to lead our families in this area.

Remember guys, many of the most important issues in our children’s lives will be caught rather than taught. They’re watching your example. If you’re not praying together as a family, then all your talk about God’s being the center of your marriage and family is just that’talk.

Make family worship or devotional time a priority. Be disciplined about following through. Model your faith with action. It’ll give your family someone to respect and someone to emulate.