DipSea

There is a race that starts in San Anselmo, California, tracks over the north bay-area’s most famous hill, Mount Tamalpais, and finishes at Stinson Beach (about 7.1 miles). For over 90 years this race has been in existence and known to be one of the most challenging hill races on the west coast. The DipSea Race has a long history of respect and it is an honor to be invited to participate in the race.

The course begins in the small town at sea level, just below 671 stairs. From the top of the stairs a runner will then proceed to climb and climb and climb to just over 1300 feet above sea level. In the accent, there are numerous hill challenges to conquer. Some of those hill challenges have been given the most daunting and haunting names (such as Cardiac, Windy hill, Suicide etc’). Then after the long push upward the decent is seemingly a welcomed process. But, as in the accent, the decent has numerous names (such as Insult) that would cause a reasonably sane person to reconsider or avoid such complexity overall.

For eight months I have been training to run this race. And two months ago I applied, hoping to be invited. Yes, training began long before I even applied to be in it. The race will contain about 1300 racers, of which only about 500 are invitation spots. The other spots are for those who ran the race last year and received a significant time qualifying them to race again.

I have thought about entering the DipSea race for over eight years and now see that the last eight months of training to possibly participate in the race has been a spiritual journey for me too.

Running a good race is beyond ‘pacing yourself.’ It truly is about appropriate physical training and mental conditioning. As referred to earlier, the names of the challenging spots on the course are for a reason. One would be a fool not to look into the course and see why these multiple areas are referred as ‘the valley of shadow of death.’

It has been my experience in life that there are many opportunities to participate in races. For example, job opportunities, church activities, and leadership positions are all types of races. But in my training and process of life I have found it profitable to first recognize whether or not I was at all emotionally and spiritually fit to perform such a task. To take an opportunity that would have life implications towards others without considering my true grounding status can lead to disasters not only for myself but my family and those whom I would serve. So I find it wise to ask, Can I take that hill? And once I get to the top of the hill, can I come down the other side with the same endurance? The honor to be asked to participate in a life race is ego-boosting; however, if I have not done prep-work to increase strength in areas that need attention, such as sexual integrity, then I risk damage in a variety of ways.

When I enter any race if I have not prepared and primed myself physically and mentally for what is before me I will become a hindrance for those who are racing along side me. I must even prepare myself for future ministry so that if and when a potential situation occurs I can approach it grounded and in the best possible shape to discern what decision needs to be made.

Entering the race to heal from sexual addiction is about training and conditioning. There are hills that will pose challenges to work through but they are definitely ones that can be conquered. And yes there are names for some of the challenging hills and valleys that can cause a runner to turn away and not face the opportunity for success. But once through those challenges, you can come out a stronger and grounded man of God.

All the training for the last few months may seem to be a waste if not accepted. However, at this point it is no longer about being accepted, but being prepared for it. And if accepted into the race the next task is to perform strong enough to be automatically brought back to try the hills next year. Irregardless, a large degree of the training and conditioning over the last eight months has made me stronger and more confident in a variety of areas.

Join the race; you don’t have to face that hill of your sexual addiction alone. And if you think you can do that race alone, you are heading for some results that will not play out well. Consider attending Every Man’s Battle as a start to your training for sexual integrity. At the EMB conference you will be challenged and you will have the opportunity to become cognitively, emotionally, and spiritually fit to take that race on.

Also see our Resources for Men.

Martin Fierro

Fatherless Boys And Angry Men

Stephen Arterburn

Over the last century, America’s undergone tremendous changes including what employment opportunities are available to us today, where and how we live, and how families relate and function’both internally and with others.

How have these changes affected us as men? Well, one important way is that it’s systematically distanced sons from their fathers. In fact, it’s become clear to experts that a primary source of the seething undercurrent of anger pervading much of the male population results from the diminishing influence of the father in a man’s life. Recent studies have shown less than 1 percent of males have or have had a close relationship with their fathers. Many men cannot remember their dads touching them affectionately, or telling them, ‘I love you.’

Men are often not very emotional, but if you want to see a man get that way in a hurry, ask him about his dad. A large number of adult males today have grown up virtually without their fathers, and they’re profoundly hurt and angry because of it.

Why? What’s happened to create this problem? The problem, of course, cannot be reduced to one factor alone. Yet neither is it a total mystery. The last century has seen the American male’s role change, and the role of fatherhood has suffered for it. Over the next several days I’ll be explaining how this happened and what it’s caused. I hope you’ll tune in.

Downside Of The Revolution

Stephen Arterburn

Why has the American father largely disappeared from his sons’ lives? One answer lies in the Industrial Revolution of the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries and the transition from an agricultural to an industrial society.

A century ago, the majority of fathers and sons lived and worked together on the family farm. Those who didn’t farm often owned and ran family businesses or labored at trades that their sons learned from them through years of observation, instruction, and hands-on experience. Boys spent most of their time with their fathers, who where their primary mentors.

But as the industrialization of our nation expanded, more men were needed to build and repair the machines, sell and deliver the products, count the profits, and pay the bills.

Increasing numbers of ambitious men moved to the city to take these jobs. Instead of spending the day tutoring their sons in the skills of life and work, these men left home every morning to pursue their careers’and their sons stayed home. The more time a man directed to his work away from home, the less time he had to mentor his sons. The downside of this revolution was that young boys were cut loose from the means that once so efficiently ushered them into confident and prepared manhood.

I know it’s much harder now, but you need to make time for your sons. If you feel ill equipped, I encourage you to take advantage of the resources available to you.