When counselors get together and download about the struggle and difficulty of helping people one of the questions that comes up is this: “Who is working harder; the counselor or the client?” If the counselor is working harder than the client, chances are the client isn’t going to experience any real change. The same is true for groups. If the support group and its members are working harder than an attendee who says he wants help, there is slim chance that attendee will see change. Neither a counselor nor a group can do the work of recovery for someone.
That begs a question we each have to answer: Who’s working your recovery?
Is your counselor putting more energy into your recovery than you are? Is he the one driving the conversations and trying to motivate you? If your counselor weren’t asking you questions to dig deeper, would you be asking them of yourself?
What about your group and accountability partners- are they working harder at your recovery than you are? Do they make more calls to you than you do to them? Are they asking difficult questions that you should be answering for yourself well in advance of group? Are they more concerned with your integrity than you are?
Or perhaps your wife – is she working harder than you are? Is she hounding you about being accountable for your time, money, relationships, work, etc? Maybe she is doing that because you aren’t working very hard at it yourself.
Ultimately, we have to answer for our recovery. We are the one’s being called to the next level by the Living God. Do yourself and those that care about you a favor, and step up your game. Be the one working your own recovery.
I just came across this news article about digital detectives and thought of the repercussions for people struggling with sexual integrity issues. The reality is what we do on our computers and phones is logged, archived, and retrievable, regardless whether we think we deleted it or not.
Did you know chat history can be recovered with a couple simple steps and the right tools?
Did you know all the porn sites you’ve visited, along with every picture you downloaded (and in what order you downloaded them) can be recalled?
Did you know that forensic experts can actually log every single keystroke on your computer? That means they can see every Facebook profile you clicked, every craigslist ad you perused and every Google image thumbnail you enlarged.
A quick reminder that delete is incomplete. May we live our online lives above reproach, such that if someone were to review our every keystroke and entire history, they would see God honored.