A Daughter’s Letter to Her Dad

dear-dad

 

I want to let you know first of all that I love you and forgive you for what this has done in my life. I also wanted to let you know exactly what your porn use has done to my life. You may think that this effects only you, or even your and mom’s relationships. But it has had a profound impact on me and all of my siblings as well.

I found your porn on the computer somewhere around the age of 12 or so, just when I was starting to become a young woman. First of all, it seemed very hypocritical to me that you were trying to teach me the value of what to let into my mind in terms of movies, yet here you were entertaining your mind with this junk on a regular basis. Your talks to me about being careful with what I watched meant virtually nothing.

Because of pornography, I was aware that mom was not the only woman you were looking at. I became acutely aware of your wandering eye when we were out and about. This taught me that all men have a wandering eye and can’t be trusted. I learned to distrust and even dislike men for the way they perceived women in this way.

As far as modesty goes, you tried to talk with me about how my dress affects those around me and how I should value myself for what I am on the inside. Your actions however told me that I would only ever truly be beautiful and accepted if I looked like the women on magazine covers or in porn. Your talks with me meant nothing and in fact, just made me angry.

As I grew older, I only had this message reinforced by the culture we live in. That beauty is something that can only be achieved if you look like “them”. I also learned to trust you less and less as what you told me didn’t line up with what you did. I wondered more and more if I would ever find a man who would accept me and love me for me and not just a pretty face.

When I had friends over, I wondered how you perceived them. Did you see them as my friends, or did you see them as a pretty face in one of your fantasies? No girl should ever have to wonder that about the man who is supposed to be protecting her and other women in her life.

I did meet a man. One of the first things I asked him about was his struggle with pornography. I’m thankful to God that it is something that hasn’t had a grip on his life. We still have had struggles because of the deep-rooted distrust in my heart for men. Yes, your porn watching has affected my relationship with my husband years later.

If I could tell you one thing, it would be this: Porn didn’t just affect your life; it affected everyone around you in ways I don’t think you can ever realize. It still affects me to this day as I realize the hold that it has on our society. I dread the day when I have to talk with my sweet little boy about pornography and its far-reaching greedy hands. When I tell him about how pornography, like most sins, affects far more than just us.

Like, I said, I have forgiven you. I am so thankful for the work that God has done in my life in this area. It is an area that I still struggle with from time to time, but I am thankful for God’s grace and also my husband’s. I do pray that you are past this and that the many men who struggle with this will have their eyes opened.

love-daughter

 

 

 

 

*This has been posted anonymously due to the nature of the topic.*

This letter was provided by Luke Geraty, founding and managing editor of ThinkTheology.com.

48 thoughts on “A Daughter’s Letter to Her Dad

  1. This looks too artificial and made up. The character in this piece looks prepped too much by someone.

    If ur dad watched porn, or addicted to porn? Every guy fantasizes about porn. Indictment on porn watching is too I am better than you. Instead write a letter to dad directly and get him the help he needs. He needs help not other people’s judgements on how bad his habits are. That is really being a servant attitude not holier than thou approach.

    Thanks.
    E

    • Any man making excuses for lust is not close to anyone and certainly not ready for help with the problem he tells himself “everyone” is doing.

    • My daughter has said the same things to my husband after she was exposed to his porn at 12, and his preaching of modesty and purity to her that she now finds hypocritical. She struggles with body issues now and she in reality is what the media would define “perfect”, yet she doesn’t see it. I can’t help but wonder if her being fifteen now and his porn habits having been teenagers, had contributed to her insecurities because she does not look as “sophisticated” or “sexy” as those images.(And she shouldn’t! Neither should those girls! They are still children!) Just because you don’t like it or it makes you and your habits uncomfortable, does not mean that what is said here is not true for many daughters. (and wives)

  2. This looks too artificial and made up. The character in this piece looks prepped too much by someone.

    If ur dad watched porn, or addicted to porn? Every guy fantasizes about porn. Indictment on porn watching is too I am better than you. Instead write a letter to dad directly and get him the help he needs. He needs help not other people’s judgements on how bad his habits are. That is really being a servant attitude not holier than thou approach.

    Thanks.
    E

    • Any man making excuses for lust is not close to anyone and certainly not ready for help with the problem he tells himself “everyone” is doing.

    • My daughter has said the same things to my husband after she was exposed to his porn at 12, and his preaching of modesty and purity to her that she now finds hypocritical. She struggles with body issues now and she in reality is what the media would define “perfect”, yet she doesn’t see it. I can’t help but wonder if her being fifteen now and his porn habits having been teenagers, had contributed to her insecurities because she does not look as “sophisticated” or “sexy” as those images.(And she shouldn’t! Neither should those girls! They are still children!) Just because you don’t like it or it makes you and your habits uncomfortable, does not mean that what is said here is not true for many daughters. (and wives)

  3. Eric is right about the tone of the letter, but the letter is right about the effects of porn. I just got back from an Every Man’s Battle Workshop, and what a Life Changing time that was!! It is a marriage saver and a life saver. Facing the addiction of porn is something every addicted man needs to do. Thanks Eric for posting about the “generic” tone of the letter, but I would add that the message is still valid: porn is spiritual poison.

  4. Eric is right about the tone of the letter, but the letter is right about the effects of porn. I just got back from an Every Man’s Battle Workshop, and what a Life Changing time that was!! It is a marriage saver and a life saver. Facing the addiction of porn is something every addicted man needs to do. Thanks Eric for posting about the “generic” tone of the letter, but I would add that the message is still valid: porn is spiritual poison.

  5. Eric and Nick, I am a woman that was raised by my father; who to this day is still a porn addict. Yes this is a spiritual battle and yes her father does need help. However, that is his choice. This letter is her filled with how she felt and the effects his actions had on her life. In my opinion this letter is bold and strong, to write hurtful these things down is hard and should be respected.

    Eric: The fact that you think that “every guy fantasized about porn” – this statement is what the devil wants men to believe and stand by.. it puts it in the “he cant help it” or “its just what guys do” category, which is a lie that keeps men bound. It is a lie of the devil. Men do NOT have to fantasize about porn.
    Also, I would just like to disagree with the fact that you stated “He needs help not other people’s judgements on how bad his habits are. That is really being a servant attitude not holier than thou approach.” – First of all, she is not judging him, she is explaining how his actions effected her while growing up and in her adult life. These are the consequences that men do not take into account while making the decision to commit adultery. Maybe her letter could speak to a fathers heart because the words are blunt and real, in an indisputable way. A father with a daughter will understand the examples she states, just the way I, as a daughter, understand these examples. This may help him recover from pornography. Many times men confuse the “this is real and needs to change” with the “holier than thou approach” – Just because the woman isn’t committing this sin- does not mean she is not suffering the consequences. There is an unrealistic expectation from people that need help, they think that if you are on their side you should sugar coat things and not point our their flaws… – Someone that really loves you will be honest, even if that means hurting your feelings, or not being on your side… Porn is a tool of the devil – Its our job as women of God to fight against the devil , even when the devil is using our own father. The truth is the truth – there is no gray here.

    • Amen Cecilia,

      The fact that both of the responses were from men, are indicative of the pervasive attitude and dismissal of the impact that this sin has on themselves and women. I actual think it was a defensive response… there should be nothing to be defensive about. Accept the truth for what it is, stop trying to explain it as a ‘staged’ letter. Even if it was, the truth of the matter is evident.

      • Amen, Maria. Sin is sin and should be acknowledged for what it is, not defended. I am a father of four (3 girls & 1 boy) and this letter is a critical reminder of how my actions (in public and/or private) can have a lifelong impact on them physically, emotionally and spiritually. Thank you God for your mercy when I miss the mark as well as your grace that enables me to do what you have called me to do and be what you have created me to be (i.e., Father, Husband, Provider, Protector, Example, etc.).

        • May I just add that nowadays, the idea of “sin” is laughed at and disregarded by many. “Sin” is viewed as merely “being closed-minded” or as merely the hateful or prejudiced view of another person who disapproves of what I am doing.
          But that does not describe the nature of sin at all! I’m sorry I can’t remember the name of the Evangelical minister who wrote: sin is the denial of God’s authority over one’s life. Sin is actually defiance, rebellion, against God and God’s designs for mankind.
          And as tempting it is to believe that one’s sins are hidden from others, this is never true. The daughter’s letter to her father, and many of the responses on this page, are a testament to that.

    • My dad is addicted to this…ummmm…….. Porn, hard to say cuz I’m 10 I was looking up something on my dads phone had he searged it up I know, it was about earth, me and him love earth so then I went to history and I pressed every time zone and at the time 7 days ago I saw he was watching porn, I was shocked I know my love for him drifted away, I wish porn did not excist, God does not want this, who created bad things

  6. Eric and Nick, I am a woman that was raised by my father; who to this day is still a porn addict. Yes this is a spiritual battle and yes her father does need help. However, that is his choice. This letter is her filled with how she felt and the effects his actions had on her life. In my opinion this letter is bold and strong, to write hurtful these things down is hard and should be respected.

    Eric: The fact that you think that “every guy fantasized about porn” – this statement is what the devil wants men to believe and stand by.. it puts it in the “he cant help it” or “its just what guys do” category, which is a lie that keeps men bound. It is a lie of the devil. Men do NOT have to fantasize about porn.
    Also, I would just like to disagree with the fact that you stated “He needs help not other people’s judgements on how bad his habits are. That is really being a servant attitude not holier than thou approach.” – First of all, she is not judging him, she is explaining how his actions effected her while growing up and in her adult life. These are the consequences that men do not take into account while making the decision to commit adultery. Maybe her letter could speak to a fathers heart because the words are blunt and real, in an indisputable way. A father with a daughter will understand the examples she states, just the way I, as a daughter, understand these examples. This may help him recover from pornography. Many times men confuse the “this is real and needs to change” with the “holier than thou approach” – Just because the woman isn’t committing this sin- does not mean she is not suffering the consequences. There is an unrealistic expectation from people that need help, they think that if you are on their side you should sugar coat things and not point our their flaws… – Someone that really loves you will be honest, even if that means hurting your feelings, or not being on your side… Porn is a tool of the devil – Its our job as women of God to fight against the devil , even when the devil is using our own father. The truth is the truth – there is no gray here.

    • Amen Cecilia,

      The fact that both of the responses were from men, are indicative of the pervasive attitude and dismissal of the impact that this sin has on themselves and women. I actual think it was a defensive response… there should be nothing to be defensive about. Accept the truth for what it is, stop trying to explain it as a ‘staged’ letter. Even if it was, the truth of the matter is evident.

      • Amen, Maria. Sin is sin and should be acknowledged for what it is, not defended. I am a father of four (3 girls & 1 boy) and this letter is a critical reminder of how my actions (in public and/or private) can have a lifelong impact on them physically, emotionally and spiritually. Thank you God for your mercy when I miss the mark as well as your grace that enables me to do what you have called me to do and be what you have created me to be (i.e., Father, Husband, Provider, Protector, Example, etc.).

        • May I just add that nowadays, the idea of “sin” is laughed at and disregarded by many. “Sin” is viewed as merely “being closed-minded” or as merely the hateful or prejudiced view of another person who disapproves of what I am doing.
          But that does not describe the nature of sin at all! I’m sorry I can’t remember the name of the Evangelical minister who wrote: sin is the denial of God’s authority over one’s life. Sin is actually defiance, rebellion, against God and God’s designs for mankind.
          And as tempting it is to believe that one’s sins are hidden from others, this is never true. The daughter’s letter to her father, and many of the responses on this page, are a testament to that.

    • My dad is addicted to this…ummmm…….. Porn, hard to say cuz I’m 10 I was looking up something on my dads phone had he searged it up I know, it was about earth, me and him love earth so then I went to history and I pressed every time zone and at the time 7 days ago I saw he was watching porn, I was shocked I know my love for him drifted away, I wish porn did not excist, God does not want this, who created bad things

  7. 1) This is a great letter and a reminder of how our actions affect others.

    2) This is a great example of the affect truth has on people.

    3) This is a great example of how internecine human nature really is:
    a) instead of acknowledging the problem, and seeking redemption, there are commenters that blame the writer (or at least the tone) of “judging another person” and being “holier than thou.”
    b) If the writer of the letter is judgmental, what does that make the commenter – how was that missed?
    c) How did saying something is horrible become worst than actually doing something that’ is horrible? Or even worst, telling the truth of sins effect become the evil, and saying nothing become the virtue?

    4) This is a superb example of why Jesus came to earth, lived perfectly, died, and resurrected: we ALL need His salvation.

  8. 1) This is a great letter and a reminder of how our actions affect others.

    2) This is a great example of the affect truth has on people.

    3) This is a great example of how internecine human nature really is:
    a) instead of acknowledging the problem, and seeking redemption, there are commenters that blame the writer (or at least the tone) of “judging another person” and being “holier than thou.”
    b) If the writer of the letter is judgmental, what does that make the commenter – how was that missed?
    c) How did saying something is horrible become worst than actually doing something that’ is horrible? Or even worst, telling the truth of sins effect become the evil, and saying nothing become the virtue?

    4) This is a superb example of why Jesus came to earth, lived perfectly, died, and resurrected: we ALL need His salvation.

  9. Man that hits home, I was like that at first and I did not want to see what porn in my life did to the ones I am supposed to love and protect, if that was made up it still does not diminish the fact that porn is a sickness that destroys lives. and you can say that an old airborne ranger said that, because that is exactly the type of beast that I was.

  10. Man that hits home, I was like that at first and I did not want to see what porn in my life did to the ones I am supposed to love and protect, if that was made up it still does not diminish the fact that porn is a sickness that destroys lives. and you can say that an old airborne ranger said that, because that is exactly the type of beast that I was.

  11. I worry slightly about the tone of this letter and the resentment behind it. Forgiveness is difficult in these things and it is important not to cling to tightly to past hurts or make dad feel overwhelmed and hopeless of never being able to overcome the past or reconcile. I also understand though it was written not just for him but as a reminder to all. We all need to guard our hearts daily and control our own exposure. I have seen women fall prey to this slow fade. My wife had fifteen affairs over ten years and could trace all of it back to her own pornography addiction and other visual addictions. The female friends in her support groups later made the same revelations. What you take in will eventually influence what comes out. Our children of course felt the fallout even though we were able to to save our marriage. Forgiveness and grace changes things. We all can fall, let’s all guard our hearts and hold each other accountable. I hope all daughters have the courage this own does to call out loved ones and the grace to forgive and let go. And to use these past hurts to build wisdom and understanding to counsel others

  12. I worry slightly about the tone of this letter and the resentment behind it. Forgiveness is difficult in these things and it is important not to cling to tightly to past hurts or make dad feel overwhelmed and hopeless of never being able to overcome the past or reconcile. I also understand though it was written not just for him but as a reminder to all. We all need to guard our hearts daily and control our own exposure. I have seen women fall prey to this slow fade. My wife had fifteen affairs over ten years and could trace all of it back to her own pornography addiction and other visual addictions. The female friends in her support groups later made the same revelations. What you take in will eventually influence what comes out. Our children of course felt the fallout even though we were able to to save our marriage. Forgiveness and grace changes things. We all can fall, let’s all guard our hearts and hold each other accountable. I hope all daughters have the courage this own does to call out loved ones and the grace to forgive and let go. And to use these past hurts to build wisdom and understanding to counsel others

  13. Made up by women who want to blame men for their sins and evil. She said “I found your porn on the computer somewhere around the age of 12 or so, just when I was starting to become a young woman”. No one made her look at the porn “she found” and she was as much as in the wrong as her daddy. She said ” I became acutely aware of your wandering eye when we were out and about. This taught me that all men have a wandering eye and can’t be trusted”. Well, what about her wondering eye, and the truth is that she can’t be trusted. She did the same thing as her dad, and put all the blame on him. Seeing the “porn” for a first time may have been his fault, but letting porn ruin her life and “all of my siblings as well”; had to be more than a one time look. She said, “I learned to distrust and even dislike men for the way they perceived women in this way”. What the young lady needs to realize is that ALL PORN is watched, sold, and promoted because of the WOMEN who are active in it! She is simply blaming her wicked heart and over-sex mind on her daddy. She is no better than her dad and mother and she needs to repent of her own sin and let Jesus Christ clean up her life. (Of course, we know this is only a made-up thing to down-grade men and make the women look innocent!)

    • Billy Burton – Did you know that 95% of the women who pose for porn, act in porn movies or become prostitutes – were sexually abused – mostly as children. If you want to believe that a person who has been destroyed emotionally and spiritually is capable of making good decisions – I don’t know what to say. The remaining 5% who enter the field out of ignorance – leave deeply damaged. Don’t take my word for it – go read interviews from women and girls who have found a way to get out of ‘the life’. The porn industry really wants you to believe the women in these images are there willingly and that they enjoy what they are doing – it is called ‘entertainment’ for a reason – a sick reason, but a reason – the reason is – it is all fake and as long as you believe it is not and give them your money – it will continue. If the actors in war movies were actually required to be shot during filming – do you think they would participate? As long as they can get you to believe that these women ‘really want you’ they know you will continue to give them your money. It is electronic prostitution. Nothing else. Have you ever heard of something called the ‘sex slave trade’? It is a multi-billion dollar industry where they drug the girls up and force them to do things and film it. They use, make up, lighting, costumes and a lot of drugs and alcohol to warp these girls into doing stuff they would NEVER do otherwise. The girls are beaten, subjected to humiliation, degraded and forced to do grossly unnatural crap. You believe they are doing this willingly? Even the men who talk about filming and being photographers for this stuff admit they throw up and get sick watching some of the stuff these girls endure. You didn’t know this? You don’t want to know this? Sex and touching is not supposed to be about hurting – that would be called violence. I understand there are also men who ‘enjoy’ being hurt – that is considered to be a mental health problem. Usually, they want to be hurt because they cannot reconcile some dark wound that was inflicted on them somewhere in their past. Men are confused when their wives and girlfriends are not interested in being humiliated and abused like those women in the porn. There is a reason – a woman has to be sick, drugged, drunk and paid or held captive as a slave to do that stuff. Efforts to make normal women act like prostitutes and porn stars just don’t go well. Sick people do this stuff. Hurt people, hurt people. Do you understand? It is also deeply degrading to the men. Real men are protectors. It is very sad that so many men do not understand that they do not have to put on a performance to be loved. Women do not have to either. We have so many lonely people out there because they just want a real relationship and instead folks approach it as if hurting each other is okay. It is not. It never was. It never will be.

    • Wow. This is the heartfelt letter of the now grown child’s perspective. The victim of watching her father struggle in sin and not ‘walk his talk’, yet you blame the victim.

      Do you not recall learning about the world through your parent’s eyes and actions? Do you recall needing to feel ultimate trust in your parents and who they were? That it built your sense of security in a not so kind world? Maybe you didn’t have that growing up?

      This young lady is not responsible for her father’s sins, nor was she a sinner in how his sin affected her development.

    • Billy Burton,
      I wanted to say I’m wondering about your comments–because the daughter was maybe snooping around on someone else’s computer–why would that be equated to the viewing of porn? It may have been wrong in some way to look on someone else’s computer, but that wouldn’t be the same, would it? (inappropriate vs. immoral). And the wandering eye–it sounds like you’re saying she also has a wandering eye…..but the “wandering” of the dad is about eyeing others sexually, isn’t it? The daughter’s “wandering” to notice others, this isn’t the same thing, is it? Otherwise one who looks at anything out there, like every nice car on the road will be said to have a “wandering eye”, which isn’t going to make sense…it’s not the meaning of “wandering”, is it?
      So….I don’t think it makes sense to equate her actions in any way, to her father’s. I hope you can agree.

      • PH, food for thought… perhaps she wasn’t snooping. Perhaps she was on the computer for another purpose and stumbled upon his browser history/electronic porn collection. And then, curiosity killed the cat (and her spirit).

  14. Made up by women who want to blame men for their sins and evil. She said “I found your porn on the computer somewhere around the age of 12 or so, just when I was starting to become a young woman”. No one made her look at the porn “she found” and she was as much as in the wrong as her daddy. She said ” I became acutely aware of your wandering eye when we were out and about. This taught me that all men have a wandering eye and can’t be trusted”. Well, what about her wondering eye, and the truth is that she can’t be trusted. She did the same thing as her dad, and put all the blame on him. Seeing the “porn” for a first time may have been his fault, but letting porn ruin her life and “all of my siblings as well”; had to be more than a one time look. She said, “I learned to distrust and even dislike men for the way they perceived women in this way”. What the young lady needs to realize is that ALL PORN is watched, sold, and promoted because of the WOMEN who are active in it! She is simply blaming her wicked heart and over-sex mind on her daddy. She is no better than her dad and mother and she needs to repent of her own sin and let Jesus Christ clean up her life. (Of course, we know this is only a made-up thing to down-grade men and make the women look innocent!)

    • Billy Burton – Did you know that 95% of the women who pose for porn, act in porn movies or become prostitutes – were sexually abused – mostly as children. If you want to believe that a person who has been destroyed emotionally and spiritually is capable of making good decisions – I don’t know what to say. The remaining 5% who enter the field out of ignorance – leave deeply damaged. Don’t take my word for it – go read interviews from women and girls who have found a way to get out of ‘the life’. The porn industry really wants you to believe the women in these images are there willingly and that they enjoy what they are doing – it is called ‘entertainment’ for a reason – a sick reason, but a reason – the reason is – it is all fake and as long as you believe it is not and give them your money – it will continue. If the actors in war movies were actually required to be shot during filming – do you think they would participate? As long as they can get you to believe that these women ‘really want you’ they know you will continue to give them your money. It is electronic prostitution. Nothing else. Have you ever heard of something called the ‘sex slave trade’? It is a multi-billion dollar industry where they drug the girls up and force them to do things and film it. They use, make up, lighting, costumes and a lot of drugs and alcohol to warp these girls into doing stuff they would NEVER do otherwise. The girls are beaten, subjected to humiliation, degraded and forced to do grossly unnatural crap. You believe they are doing this willingly? Even the men who talk about filming and being photographers for this stuff admit they throw up and get sick watching some of the stuff these girls endure. You didn’t know this? You don’t want to know this? Sex and touching is not supposed to be about hurting – that would be called violence. I understand there are also men who ‘enjoy’ being hurt – that is considered to be a mental health problem. Usually, they want to be hurt because they cannot reconcile some dark wound that was inflicted on them somewhere in their past. Men are confused when their wives and girlfriends are not interested in being humiliated and abused like those women in the porn. There is a reason – a woman has to be sick, drugged, drunk and paid or held captive as a slave to do that stuff. Efforts to make normal women act like prostitutes and porn stars just don’t go well. Sick people do this stuff. Hurt people, hurt people. Do you understand? It is also deeply degrading to the men. Real men are protectors. It is very sad that so many men do not understand that they do not have to put on a performance to be loved. Women do not have to either. We have so many lonely people out there because they just want a real relationship and instead folks approach it as if hurting each other is okay. It is not. It never was. It never will be.

    • Wow. This is the heartfelt letter of the now grown child’s perspective. The victim of watching her father struggle in sin and not ‘walk his talk’, yet you blame the victim.

      Do you not recall learning about the world through your parent’s eyes and actions? Do you recall needing to feel ultimate trust in your parents and who they were? That it built your sense of security in a not so kind world? Maybe you didn’t have that growing up?

      This young lady is not responsible for her father’s sins, nor was she a sinner in how his sin affected her development.

    • Billy Burton,
      I wanted to say I’m wondering about your comments–because the daughter was maybe snooping around on someone else’s computer–why would that be equated to the viewing of porn? It may have been wrong in some way to look on someone else’s computer, but that wouldn’t be the same, would it? (inappropriate vs. immoral). And the wandering eye–it sounds like you’re saying she also has a wandering eye…..but the “wandering” of the dad is about eyeing others sexually, isn’t it? The daughter’s “wandering” to notice others, this isn’t the same thing, is it? Otherwise one who looks at anything out there, like every nice car on the road will be said to have a “wandering eye”, which isn’t going to make sense…it’s not the meaning of “wandering”, is it?
      So….I don’t think it makes sense to equate her actions in any way, to her father’s. I hope you can agree.

      • PH, food for thought… perhaps she wasn’t snooping. Perhaps she was on the computer for another purpose and stumbled upon his browser history/electronic porn collection. And then, curiosity killed the cat (and her spirit).

  15. Wow, what an amazing letter! To counter what the first two comments on here said, I think that the writer possibly did send this first to her dad, and perhaps then realized the good it would do others to read as well. If she was truly ill-meaning about it she wouldn’t have remained anonymous. Most of the in-between commenters are very refreshing. The last one I believe is way off. Yes, women have porn probs, too, but that’s not really a point made to avoid in the letter. The object is to show the damage that parental porn can have on families, their self-esteem, as well as the struggle to not put everyone (i.e. men, fathers, etc.) in the same box… Very difficult for children not to do. After all, our parents are who we look up to most for examples of how to live, to be, and to act in the world. They are our first and most influential teachers of life. And the fact that the daughter found the porn does Not mean she was looking for it, uh. If there were pics downloaded or maybe a website was left up from previous usage on the computer or she saw a search made… Any of these are possible to come across accidentally. Besides, even if she was looking for it, the fact that her dad was looking at it did not help her situation… Rather it would make it worse. The fathers are responsible for the children, not the other way around. Discipline and gentle honesty are sorely lacking in our culture, no need to sugarcoat reality so we dan’t hurt daddy’s (a grown man) feelings. It may sound harsh, but it really isn’t. More of this earlier on in his life would’ve helped prevent or at least better curb the downright hypocrisy he displays later of talking to his daughter about modesty while watching porn behind his family’s back.

  16. Wow, what an amazing letter! To counter what the first two comments on here said, I think that the writer possibly did send this first to her dad, and perhaps then realized the good it would do others to read as well. If she was truly ill-meaning about it she wouldn’t have remained anonymous. Most of the in-between commenters are very refreshing. The last one I believe is way off. Yes, women have porn probs, too, but that’s not really a point made to avoid in the letter. The object is to show the damage that parental porn can have on families, their self-esteem, as well as the struggle to not put everyone (i.e. men, fathers, etc.) in the same box… Very difficult for children not to do. After all, our parents are who we look up to most for examples of how to live, to be, and to act in the world. They are our first and most influential teachers of life. And the fact that the daughter found the porn does Not mean she was looking for it, uh. If there were pics downloaded or maybe a website was left up from previous usage on the computer or she saw a search made… Any of these are possible to come across accidentally. Besides, even if she was looking for it, the fact that her dad was looking at it did not help her situation… Rather it would make it worse. The fathers are responsible for the children, not the other way around. Discipline and gentle honesty are sorely lacking in our culture, no need to sugarcoat reality so we dan’t hurt daddy’s (a grown man) feelings. It may sound harsh, but it really isn’t. More of this earlier on in his life would’ve helped prevent or at least better curb the downright hypocrisy he displays later of talking to his daughter about modesty while watching porn behind his family’s back.

  17. I have mixed feelings about this letter. It’s undeniable that this girl getting exposed to porn at young age affected her. Nothing good a can possibly come out of children getting exposed to porn. However it also feels like, She is piling on her dad, blaming him for everything that went wrong with her.

    However, I do not know, how old is the girl in the letter, I could see my younger self writing a letter in the same tone to my dad, but the older (hopefully wiser) would be embarrassed about it.

  18. I have mixed feelings about this letter. It’s undeniable that this girl getting exposed to porn at young age affected her. Nothing good a can possibly come out of children getting exposed to porn. However it also feels like, She is piling on her dad, blaming him for everything that went wrong with her.

    However, I do not know, how old is the girl in the letter, I could see my younger self writing a letter in the same tone to my dad, but the older (hopefully wiser) would be embarrassed about it.

  19. This is very strong and nothing to play with! Having issues with porn makes you feel less than man! You have to hide to fulfill your secret life style not knowing that your hurting the very people you love. Please think about the things you say, because this issue is taking men out of the home, leave children without a father. It also causes the mother/wife not to respect the father/husband, because this leaves her to do everything the father/husband should be doing. Respect is a big need for a man and watching porn, makes the man less respected in the eyes of his wife.

    Say what you want about porn it is killing men as they go to-and-fro. I have one question to ask are you dead or alive? I am hanging on yearning for what ever respect I can get from my wife.

    Porn is hotter than fire! Don’t mess (look at it) with it, because you will surly get burned!

    Please understand what you are saying!

  20. This is very strong and nothing to play with! Having issues with porn makes you feel less than man! You have to hide to fulfill your secret life style not knowing that your hurting the very people you love. Please think about the things you say, because this issue is taking men out of the home, leave children without a father. It also causes the mother/wife not to respect the father/husband, because this leaves her to do everything the father/husband should be doing. Respect is a big need for a man and watching porn, makes the man less respected in the eyes of his wife.

    Say what you want about porn it is killing men as they go to-and-fro. I have one question to ask are you dead or alive? I am hanging on yearning for what ever respect I can get from my wife.

    Porn is hotter than fire! Don’t mess (look at it) with it, because you will surly get burned!

    Please understand what you are saying!

  21. As a man who runs men’s ministry for sexual integrity I have seen the damage from both sides. I am saddened by some of my brother and sister’s comments here. What we need is more empathy toward one another. Your sin is no different and no less devastating to God.

    Jesus also challenges you “without sin to cast the first stone” John 8:7 We are all utterly broken and in need of our Savior Jesus Christ. Instead of beating our brothers and sisters down, pray for them (James 5:16).

  22. As a man who runs men’s ministry for sexual integrity I have seen the damage from both sides. I am saddened by some of my brother and sister’s comments here. What we need is more empathy toward one another. Your sin is no different and no less devastating to God.

    Jesus also challenges you “without sin to cast the first stone” John 8:7 We are all utterly broken and in need of our Savior Jesus Christ. Instead of beating our brothers and sisters down, pray for them (James 5:16).

  23. I’m a female and men are big contributers to this, however it also comes down to females not having respect for their bodies.If women would stop acting so discutingly about showing their nude bodies maybe something would change. They do it for the wrong reasons, attention and money which in the end means absolutely nothing. It all starts at home with unfit parents and destroyed families that end up in devorce and the parents forget about their kids trying to get back at each other.

  24. I’m a female and men are big contributers to this, however it also comes down to females not having respect for their bodies.If women would stop acting so discutingly about showing their nude bodies maybe something would change. They do it for the wrong reasons, attention and money which in the end means absolutely nothing. It all starts at home with unfit parents and destroyed families that end up in devorce and the parents forget about their kids trying to get back at each other.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *