Doubt, Fear & Faith

I wonder what it must have been like as a 1st generation follower of Christ? To spend a few years doing life with him, everyday, hanging your hat on his words, then only to see him killed. Sure he talked about having to leave, but come on…like this? Today would be a hard day. He is gone, not yet risen, and everything seems to have come to a screeching halt. I would’ve felt duped and gullible. I probably would have wondered why I blew the last 3 years following this guy. He did say he was coming back, so perhaps I would’ve had some sliver of hope. But it would have been small. There must have been so much doubt and fear for the disciples. Do they carry the torch and press on, or head on back to the quiet life of fishermen? Do they finish what they started or cash it in? We all know the rest of the story, but they didn’t. They had to go on faith. They had to go back through all they had seen, experienced and been taught to decide to hold out faith.

Then He showed up.

Such is the case for many of us on our journeys. For a lot of men, it’s the Saturday of the recovery process. You’re waiting in that awkward in-between space wondering if He’ll show up tomorrow and pull you through. Don’t go back to the quiet life of a fisherman. Or, in the case of our addictions, to the duplicitous, shame-filled life of sexually acting out. I urge you to hang on and see what tomorrow brings. Stand on faith and see what happens. You’re Sunday is coming. Hold on a little longer.


One thought on “Doubt, Fear & Faith

  1. Jason , thank you for this article!… It was an encouragement to me…. I met you at EMB in January of 2012 in DC…. While I had been on the road to recovery and remained free of my porn addiction… My wife and I hit a rough patch… I became very discouraged and lonely and turned to someone else for comfort…. One of my wife’s “friends”… When she found out in January of this year she was devastated …. I needed up walkin out on her and our children…. The next night I came back realizing how selfish and how foolish I had been…. I asked her for one more chance to make our marriage work ….. While she has kept the door open to our marriage …. We are now separated because after 4 affairs she just needs some space to heal …. My marriage hangs in the balance ….. I have gotten things right with her and with my Heavenly Father … But some days it looks hopeless!…. I want to continue living right and doing right and to prove to my wife that I truly am sorry and that I do love her and want our marriage to survive …. I heard a scripture this morning that encouraged my heart “And let us not be weary in well doing for in due season we shall reap if we faint not”…. Thank you for your encouraging thoughts that my Sunday is coming if I will just hold on!…. I want to remain faithful to my wife during this separation…. I don’t want to give up on her or our marriage…. I want to have patience and give her all the time she needs … I am expecting your book in the mail any day from new life.. “Worthy of her Trust”… I look forward to reading it.

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