Facing the Shame

We just finished the first session at the March EMB Workshop and I feel super encouraged. The reason is I just saw almost 60 men face their shame. They walked through the doors of the hotel into an awkward, unknown experience. Let’s face it, you don’t advertise that you’re attending an EMB workshop (most guys say they are going to a “men’s conference”). It is difficult to attend. And I think the most difficult thing is that it brings us face-to-face with our shame.

When guys come into the weekend you can, metaphorically, see the suitcase full of shame they tote along with them. It weighs them down, slows their progress, and stifles their joy. Then, in the first session, we get really honest about this struggle and are able to connect around the commonality of our stories. As I tell my and my wife Shelley’s story you can literally see guys posture change from closed and heavy to light and open. There’s even some laughter at some pretty lame jokes. The cloud is lifted and the tension is eased.

Men who face their shame actually have a fighting chance to get past their addictions. Men who won’t face their shame will most likely be perpetually controlled by it.

I’m proud of the men who show up at EMB, willing to face their shame because I know they’re healing has begun.

On to Session 2!



7 thoughts on “Facing the Shame

  1. Dear men seeking integrity,

    Thank you Steve and the Every Man’s Battle Ministry for all you do, to fight the good and Godly fight against the devastating addiction that takes so many men and women down the path of destruction. You are blessing many lives and I know this weekend will be a blessing as a leader as well as the participants.

    I just wanted to say………as a therapist who treats individuals and couples with sexual addiction or shall we say sexual integrity issues, I am so encouraged by this ministry and those men past and present who are attending this weekend. I do hope that in the future there is something in the Central Florida area.

    Please let the men who are on this weekend know from me that they are doing the next and right thing for…. primarily themselves, but also for their relationships and their children’s relationship.

    Men….,take in the spoken Word, the teaching on sexual addiction, the setup that occurred because of family of origin issues and possibly abuse, the tears of grief, acknowledge the shame and guilt that you have been walking around with for a long time maybe even your lifetime, be honest, bear your souls, know the recovery process and the fight that you will be in. Please know this…. YOU CANNOT DO THIS ALONE that’s precisely why you are where you are this weekend…..with others of which you have a common affinity around a specific issue….sexual addiction. You need a band of BROTHERS!!!! Let God’s love move you and allow it to wrap around you. Let HIS grace, mercy and forgiveness envelop you. You soooo deserve it and He, THE ONE knew you would be there this weekend….so treat this as a wakeup call and an urgent YES to the recovery process.

    Don’t let this addiction take anything more away from you and destroy you any longer.

    May God richly bless each of you,

    • You should look into Pure Desires by Dr. Ted Roberts or even the Every Man’s Battle if you have not already found help. It is a rough journey for everyone involved but I pray you don’t give up. I have been going through this journey with my husband since 2011 and can tell you it rough but you can and will get through it.

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