FAQ

What is the Every Man’s Battle Workshop?
The Every Man’s Battle Workshop is a three-day intensive program for men who are struggling with sexual integrity. If a man is involved with pornography, affairs, or other sexual temptations, this workshop will give him the tools to achieve victory in this battle. It is Christ-centered, and uses a combination of teaching sessions and small group work, led by licensed Christian counselors. Every Man’s Battle is presented by New Life Ministries.

What is New Life Ministries?
New Life Ministries is a nationally syndicated Christian radio/TV ministry and provider of programs dedicated to spiritual transformation. New Life was founded by Stephen Arterburn in 1988 as a Christian inpatient treatment organization, and then expanded into outpatient care and radio ministry in 1994. The New Life Live radio program is a one hour call-in broadcast hosted by Stephen Arterburn. The program airs on about 200 stations around the country and the Sirius XM Satellite Radio networks. Supporting the radio ministry is our New Life Resource Center, available toll free at 800-639-5433. Our Ministry Service Representatives assist over 10,000 callers each month in finding workshops, outpatient counselors, books, and other resources to meet their needs. In addition to the Every Man’s Battle workshop, New Life and our ministry partners also offer workshops and treatment for compulsive overeating, drug and alcohol addiction, anorexia and bulimia, and adolescent behavioral needs. New Life is the nation’s largest provider of Christian counseling services; our outpatient counseling network has nearly 1000 licensed counselors in more than forty states, offering individual and family counseling for every need.

How did the Every Man’s Battle workshops begin?
Immediately following the release of the book, Every Man’s Battle, written by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker, New Life Ministries saw a sharp increase in calls from those seeking help in this area. In November, 2000 we held our first workshop at a retreat center in eastern Maryland. The response was so great we immediately made plans to hold these workshops once per month in cities around the country. Now in our 12th year of offering these monthly events, approximately 8,000 men have attended an Every Man’s Battle workshop.

Where are the workshops located?
The workshops are held monthly at hotels in cities around the country. We always encourage a person in need to attend the next workshop scheduled rather than one that may be closer to home scheduled further in the future. Each workshop draws men from all over the country, some traveling a distance even when a workshop is coming to their area further out in the future.

What is included in the workshop?
Here are a few things included as part of the Every Man’s Battle Workshop:

  • Two nights of lodging and six meals
  • Eight teaching sessions on sexual integrity issues
  • Seven small-group sessions led by Christian counselors for in-depth exploration of the teaching session topics
  • A ratio of one counselor for every eight to ten attendees
  • Airport shuttle for those arriving by air

What kinds of topics are covered?

  • The Nature of Sexual Temptation
  • False Intimacy
  • Boundaries
  • Restoring Trust and Communication in Marriage
  • Temptation Cycles and How to Manage Them
  • Emotional Conflicts Common in Recovery
  • The Daily Disciplines in Recovery
  • Shame: Its Impact and Its Management
  • Relapse Prevention

Is there a limit to how many can attend?
Capacity varies depending on the location. We encourage early registration to ensure a place. Regardless of attendance, we are committed to having at least one counselor for every ten attendees.

Cancellations

  • If you cancel 10 days or more prior to the workshop, you’ll receive a refund of the amount you’ve paid minus an administration fee of $200.
  • If you cancel less than 10 days before the start of the workshop, no refund shall be given. Registration fees may be rolled over to another confirmed Every Man’s Battle workshop, but a transfer fee of $100 per person will be assessed.

Who should attend this workshop?
The EMB workshop is for men who find themselves pulled into use of pornography, those who seek out sexual gratification through compulsive masturbation, massage parlors, or prostitutes, or those who have been involved in extramarital affairs.

The EMB workshop has had attendees who are married, single and divorced, those who have come from every denomination and major religion. Most men come to EMB reluctantly. The decision to get help is often at the urging—or in some cases ultimatum—of a wife who has reached a point where she cannot stay married unless her husband takes action. Other men are self-motivated, determined to rid themselves of this burden to their lives and finally willing to admit that they cannot do it alone. At New Life Ministries we have seen countless incidents of families being destroyed by this destructive problem. We’ve seen men lose their families and their spiritual walk as the sexual temptations that started in small ways begin to consume them.

Sexual addiction, like all other addictive behaviors, is progressive. What satisfies today at some point will not be enough, and the need for more intense stimulation will be required. Over the years we’ve spoken to hundreds of men who waited, able to convince themselves that occasional use of pornography was no big deal. Many of these men hit bottom only when the addiction worsened to include other forms of sexual acting-out. For some this only occurs after something worse – such as divorce – or irreversible – like a sexually transmitted disease, had crept into their lives. We want to help men take the steps necessary to be victorious over sexual temptation one day at a time. Our biggest goal is to help reach men before the problem ever becomes a consuming addiction; that is why we began the Every Man’s Battle Workshop.

Do you have anything for wives or girlfriends?
When a married man is struggling with sexual integrity problems, the emotional effects on the wife are often devastating. All of the hopes of fidelity and security that began on the wedding day may be shattered, and those wounds are not easily healed. Feelings of anger, mistrust, and betrayal are not repaired quickly or without work. We know that every married woman’s desire is to be in a relationship that is built on trust, secure in knowing that her husband is faithful to her in every way. For that reason we have established our three-day Women In The Battle Workshop, which is designed to help a wife or a girlfriend in this situation understand her role in her husband’s struggle and recovery.

Are meals included?
YES, all meals are included.

41 thoughts on “FAQ

  1. My husband not only was caught with pornography but he also was involved in an emotional affair with a co-worker. Does the workshop & book discuss emotional affairs, how to recognize them & how to prevent them?

    • I would like to know when the next Women in the Battle workshop is scheduled? Do you have any scheduled in Florida, Atlanta, or Charlotte, NC this year?

  2. Well im not an adult yet, but I realize I have a problemm, what advice would you have for a 14 year old teenager? Should I try to adtend one of the meetings? Please any advice would help.

    • Dear Douglas, I just got on the website finally & saw your brave post. And altho it was last year, I hope you have gotten an answer from the Lord at least. As a brother in Christ I would say do whatever it takes. I wish I would have had this kind of info when I was 14, which was sometimes back in the 60′s. Instead, I struggled with it from age 12 until today. I had 19 mos of sobriety following the plan in the EMB book. But I got lazy, fell, & struggled since. And even tho it is physically difficult for me due to nerve damage in my back, it is still a battle in the mind. And it is something I want to have the Lord Lord of, not only to serve Him better, but also in case the Lord grants me the gift of marriage again. If you can get this under the Lordship of Jesus before you’re married, you will never regret the work you put into into it. You can’t do it alone. Accountability…it works when you work it.
      I do hope that, if you have not attended one yet, that you do so as soon as possible. Not that the workshop is anything in & of itself. It is all of the Lord. I have known a few men unto God had granted the gift of celibacy. If it is not your gift, then be prepared to do whatever it takes. As it says in I Thes 4:3-4: “For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour;”.
      God bless you Douglas.
      Your brother in Christ & in arms, doug

      • I realize that this post was from almost a year ago, but perhaps you will still see this. I heard on the New Life Program that Steve Arterburn is periodically doing some “Every Young Man’s Battle” talks. It doesn’t sound as if it is very often though. I just called New LIfe to find out more and the person wasn’t aware of anything in the near future or that it’s really developed yet (he said Steve just gave a talk on it at a church a couple months ago). But maybe if you called, there would be someone with some more info. I know that they are in the planning stages of putting together a father/son weekend on this in the next year or so. I’d encourage you to get a mature male accountability partner from church or whoever you can trust with this. If you could talk to your mom or dad about it, in general, that would be ideal. I’m sure a parent would really appreciate their child sharing their struggle and be a strong support for them. No matter what, don’t stop seeking help. Remember that many men have been down this road and wish they had gotten help at your age. Good for you for seeking it out.

  3. Is it normal for a man who has a pornographic past to lose sexual drive? It is killing me most as much as the pornography itself
    I

  4. I honestly don’t know how much more I can take!! My husband claims to be a christian but is so much into his own sexual satisfaction. We’ve been married for over 13 years, I love him, but I’m tired. when and how much does your seminar cost?

  5. Hi My brother and I are considering your every mans battle in philadelphia.
    For some reason I did not see any info on the cost of the conference.
    Please let me know this info. I really would appreciate it.
    Thanks

  6. The apple didn’t fall far from the tree, my 17 yr old son and I both struggle with sexual addiction. Is Every Man’s Battle a work shop where we can both attend??

    • Hi Terry,
      We regularly have fathers & sons attend the workshop together. However, he needs to be 18 to attend. I wouldn’t let that stop you though; the sooner you get the tools you need, the sooner you can start passing them on to him!
      Glad you are changing the course of legacy in your family Terry!

  7. I am wondering if there is anything for Spanish Speakers. We are near Sacramento, CA. I am hoping (with God’s help) to convince my husband to attend as he started viewing pornography a few months back but I can already tell he is looking at it more frequently. This really hurts! :( Even when he began, he promised not to do it again but that promise was broken very quickly. I don’t want to judge him, I want to be supportive but he really has to put an effort.

  8. What would be the cost of the workshop being held in Washington DC?
    I really need anonimity and quiet…can I get a room by myself?

    Thank You

  9. Is there a way to pay for this anonymously as a gift for an individual and maybe work with someone who could notify that person that this has been purchased for him?

    It’s my dad. Being his adult daughter I don’t really feel that I’m in a place to actually confront him about his porn problem. Maybe if I was his son I could, but as a daughter I just don’t think I could bring the issue up to him becuase it would be too embarassing. I don’t think he even knows that I know. I’m worried about him and my mom. They’ve been married 36 years and now they are on the brink of divorce and I think my dad’s porn problem is one of the major factors in this.

    Would you even recommend doing something like that if it could be done, or would it just make him get mad at my mom because he’d think that she had told someone?

    • You can certainly call the ministry and setup and anonymous sponsorship for someone to attend. If you call 1-800-639-5433 they should be able to help you.
      However, I actually believe you could be a powerful influence in his process. It could carry tremendous weight for his adult daughter to sit him down at the kitchen table and say,
      “Dad, I’m hurting for you. And for mom. And it is hurting me to see the two of you like this. I believe your porn problem is a big part of the issue. So I’ve made arrangements for you to attend an Every Mans Battle workshop to deal with it. Please, for my sake and yours, go get help.”

      You may have an influence that your mother doesn’t because he may be numb to your mother’s pain. Alternatively, it could break him to see your pain.

      I hope this helps.

      Jason

  10. My husband had an affair 11 yrs ago. We have reconnected and survived and continue to survive one of the most difficult times in our Christian lives. Now our son has had an affair and pornography. I see you are having a workshop in Dallas in March. I would like information on the cost, schedule, times of arrival departure etc….My husband has been reaching out and trying to give Godly advice but our son is seemly out of reach. Possibly they could attend this seminar together and then our son’s wife and I could attend the one for women. Appreciate any information that you can share.

    • Hi Melba,
      Thanks for writing. The workshop info is available by calling the ministry – 1-800-639-5433. I know there are spaces available at the Dallas workshop. It would be a fantastic idea for them to attend together. They can both learn about true intimacy, about the underlying factors that drive infidelity/porn and what a recovery plan looks like. I believe God cares about legacies, and He wants to redeem the legacy of your family. Especially the men in your family. They have to be willing to take that step. I hope they will.
      When you call, also ask about Women in the Battle. It would be good for both of you to attend. My wife Shelley will be there as well to share a bit about her story and to talk with ladies who have questions.
      Hope this helps!

    • Hi Jonathan-
      The next workshop will be in Dallas, TX in March. That’s probably drive-able in 14 hours or so. After that we’re in California, then I bet the next one will be on the East Coast somewhere.

      Jason

  11. My husband has had two affairs. The first one in our twelfth year of marriage and the second one five years later (last year). I found out about the affairs in Aug. 2012 one week before I was to give birth to our fourth child. He had an addiction to pornography since he was a young boy. He was told me about the affair five years ago, however; he didn’t tell me the whole truth. He told me it only happened once (really lasted for six months). After that partial confession, we were working towards rebuilding our marriage. We talked about him attending EMB (didn’t happen) because of financial struggles. I never thought he would do anything like this. Moreover, I never, never expected him to do this again. Subsequently, I do feel that he is truly repentant this time because I know the truth about everything. Moreover, he doesn’t want to hurt me anymore and I have seen (am seeing) brokenness. He is in counseling with a recommended counselor from New Life. Your blogs with your wife (kitchen topics) have been so helpful to me. Sharing your testimony has been equally comforting during this dark time. I am struggling with the fact that he did these things and how can I stay married to him. Some days I hate him and other days I want to forget that he had two affairs. Part of me wants to stay because of our children. The other part of me wants to move on and embrace something new. How can I be certain that he won’t continue to break our vows. He wants our marriage to be restored and is willing to do whatever it takes. I don’t feel up to the challenge. I am deeply hurt and that is an under statement. It seems so daunting-this could take years to get through. Can you help?
    shon

    • Hi Shon,
      Thanks for your question and your encouragement.
      I feel like a broken record sometimes when I say that I’m sorry for your situation. But, truly, I am so sorry to hear that you’re faced with this. In your brief writing, there is hurt piled on top of hurt. I wish you didn’t have to endure that.
      And let me just say that it is so, so normal to question every motive for staying. For the kids, for redemption, for fear of starting over, etc… all normal. My advice to you is to sit, wait and watch. You needn’t make any quick decisions about the future right now. Just watch what he does. He is seemingly repentant now, but is it just a flash in the pan? Wait and see. If he balked at EMB last time, I’d encourage him to go this time. If he doesn’t, there’s an indicator of his commitment.
      Also, I think it is important to say that redemption is possible. There is hope. We see men every month at the workshop who leave determined to turn things around. Likewise I see it week after week in my office. It is going to be a difficult journey, but it is worth it in the end (assuming he puts everything he’s got into it). Lastly, you should think about attending Women in the Battle. Finding support and encouragement there would be a great thing for any wife in your shoes. My wife Shelley will be there too, and would love to say Hi and meet you.

  12. My 16 year-old son is addicted to porn and has confessed that he started viewing it since he was 9. He is struggling with hormones as well now and feels that he cannot have any control over his urges. He needs to be in some accountability group, but none of your workshops is geared towards teenagers. Is there any group/organization that can help him? I’m finding this to be so pervasive and no longer just for men. I hurt for my son and need help for him! What would you suggest he do?

    • Hi Anne,
      Thanks for reaching out. I’m sorry your son is struggling with this. Is his dad able to talk with him about it?
      As for resources, the Every Young Man’s Battle book is a good place to start. After that, you might check out http://www.xxxchurch.com where there is some material geared toward teens.
      Hope that helps!

      Jason

  13. Please send the upcoming workshops dates, towns and the cost. I am thinking of sponsoring a man who lives in Oregon. Thanks

    • Hey Tom,
      Thanks for your inquiry! You’ll need to contact the folks at the call center for all that info. It’s 1-800-639-5433. That is fantastic that you want to sponsor someone. I think there are a couple of attendees in that boat each month and they are so thankful they were able to attend.

  14. Myhusband and I have been married 20 years. he had 2 affairs during our 14 year of marriage and emotional affair that same year until I found out . he tried to get right and got saved but didn’t last until he reached out to search out communication with other women on the web.
    I threw him out and was separated for the year, we did reconcile but with conditions. We celebrated our 20th and all seemed fine until I found out the month later he had kept in communication with the one he had an emotional affair with and not sure if it was physical and I saw porn again.

    Now what!!! what else can I do but divorce this man. he is so blatant and sees nothing wrong. doesn’t even seem to be remorseful. unbelievable. after all that God has done to restore us and redeem us to go back to his vomit.

  15. I’m a newlywed, 2.5 yrs. In the first yr of marriage, evidence in hand, I caught my husband in a lie about calling chat lines. He finally confessed while I was speaking with our mobile carrier about the mysterious phone calls. Fast forward 1 yr and I caught him in another lie. This time, it’s poenography. I suspected for some time now that he’s been watching it because of the mysterious stains on his clothing and his constant interrogations about who I am talking to at work, the store, or when ever he is not present.
    We recently went on vacation and one of my main goals was to spend time feverently praying for the Lord’s guidance on how confront him with my suspicion since I didn’t have any evidence. The Lord actually did one better.
    While we sat on the runway for a scheduled departure at 1130am, we were delayed 1.5 hrs due to thunder storms. Just before takeoff the stewardess announced free TV for the duration of the flight because of the inconvenience. I immediately took advantage of that since we were not planning to pay for it. I tuned in to an ongoing NLT show dealing with pornography. The discussion caught my attention when I realized that the Lord was using NLT to provide me with tools to confront my husband. I recall regularly listening years ago when the program was available in my area, and I was so excited to know that I could tune back in thru Stitcher.
    I didn’t confront my husband during our vacation because I strongly felt that it was not time. When we returned home, within 2 weeks the Lord swung the door wide open when while watching TV one night my husband began the interrogation once again. This time he asked to see my personal mobile phone emails AND work emails. In the past, I would only ask to look thru his personal cell. This time I asked for his work phone as well, (he began sweating perfusely and to distract me by asking if i wanted to watch a movie), and with just a little investigation within a few minutes I found a mountain of pornographic websites he visited. He immediately defended his actions with, “that was last year”. I told him it didn’t matter when it took place -and what if I were doing the exact same thing while he was doing it, how would he feel. He immediately demanded the phone and wrestled it out of my hand before I could actually view the website to see exactly who he was watching. While the thought of that sickened me, I wanted to know because I absolutely trust nothing he says now. Early the next morning I went into his phone only to find that he deleted the websites. I almost wonder if he wanted me to find all of this out. Needless to say, I was devastated with the events of the previous night. The next day I text him an ultimatum – indefinitely separation immediately or attend EMB. I was shocked when he walked into the house and said he would attend.
    God’s timing is awesome! Trusting Him to help us work thru the healing journey.
    Stronger on the other side.

    • Wow…your story is yet another that proves God is faithful to bring to light what is hidden; for our best interest. I’m glad to hear he responded positively to your ultimatum. Half the men that show up each month are that same track, so he’ll be in good company. If he’ll engage, try to get something out of the weekend, and let God work, life can be radically different for you both.
      Tell him to come say hi and introduce himself!

      Jason

      • Thank you and your staff for providing a safe Godly environment where the veil can be lifted.

        My husband plans to say hi to you this weekend. He says the only reason he’s doing this is to save our marriage.

        I am praying that my husband and all of the attendees would have open hearts and minds to receive the tools to be successful in their fight for sexual purity before our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ; so that they, their wives and all who stand with them in full battle fatigues are Stronger On The Other Side! Eph. 6. 10-18.

        • Jason, A special thanks to you and your staff for helping my husband take a giant step toward wholeness. I look forward to attending Every Heart Restored. We plan to partner with New Life in prayer and giving. Stronger on the other side.

  16. This conference/seminar is what I need. I lived in the Washington, D.C. Area, when and where is the next conference. And what is the cost

  17. To Any and all of you thinking of attending EMB, I went to a EMB workshop about 4 years ago and let me tell you not only did it save my marriage but probably my life. I struggled with porn, masterbation and other sexual sins for 20 years. I told myself I would grow out of it, I told my self it was normal, everyone does it. Then I told myself I can fix it on my own. Well as many of you now know you can’t do it in your own. It takes GOD himself to show up and show you the way. Jason and his team lead you and give you the tools that you will need to change your life and they do it in GODS way and that’s why it works. It’s not an easy process but it is worth it. If you go and put their teachings in place you can beat this addiction. God Bless you and your team Jason and thank you for allowing God to do work through you for all of us.

    • Thank you Steven! We love hearing stories like yours! We know every month we offer men the opportunity to choose change. I’m pumped to hear you’ve firmly committed yourself to that process. I hope you continue to see God at work, carrying you through the journey. Keep it up!

  18. Hello,

    I am wondering how much the seminar costs to attend. I am interested in the one in Dallas in December. Although I believe my marraige is over, I would be attending the seminar for myself and the future of my relationship with my daughters. I recognize I have an issue with porn but do not believe I am addicted. But could be on that path. I understand you will probably reply with a phone number but I would like the cost before I call.

  19. My 15 year old son struggles with pornography and masturbation and, most recently, self-injury as a way to punish himself (his words) for the guilt and shame. We’ve been through EYMB book and others and he’s in counseling. Will there ever be a workshop tailored to younger guys or perhaps teens with dads? The enemy seeks to devour young men too through this battle. Heartbreaking! Thanks for all you do.

  20. I have been in some form of S recovery for 22 years. I have been divorced 10 years. I have periodic struggles (about every 6-8 mo. the last 3 years) I lose my sobriety. I go to 2-3 weekly face meetings for SAA, and use callin meetings 4x per week, I see a CSAT Christian counselor every ohther week, I have had sponsors, I have read dozens of books on addiction & recovery. I have a reporting filter on my PC (I live alone). I had a small accountability group that met weekly this last year but people fizzle out. I am in the Houston, TX area. I was abused as a kid (sexual, emotional, verbal), parents divorced at age 6, never saw my dad except once, a year before his suicide. My brother was in the gay life style and was shot (or killed himself – reports were conflicting). I have been with my CSAT counselor off-and-on (mostly on) for 7 years. Made lots of progress, delt with addiction, grief, abandonment, trauma (some EMDR), etc. I have a rigorous program I works but something happens (stress at work for a few weeks, I get real sick for 3-4 weeks, I fight to maintain my program but can’t do much but work and sleep. I get isolated – boom I slip. I am also in an AA program w/ a good sponsor that comprehends my S program too. I have read many of John & Henry’s books and listened to New Life Live for over 24 years. I am almost there but I get tripped up once in a while. I have had as much as 3 years of good recovery but some huge trauma or event harpoons my success and I end up slipping. Will Every Man’s Battle do me any good. I don’t want to re-hash what I already know. I know a ton about recovery and have even facilitated groups in the past. But it takes more than knowledge & information. Or maybe Healing is a Choice? I don’t know. I get a little discourage but this last year I made a big transtion from feeling like I “AM” a mistake to seeing that I “MAKE” mistakes. And many other areas of progress. But I want life time sobriety from all sexual issues. I want to get married again someday and fullfill my purpsose as a believer.

    • Hey Mitch,
      First of all, hats off to you for your perseverance. It sounds like you could’ve cashed it in many times. Way to go on your continued work and progress. In terms of the EMB workshop, I don’t think you’ll get a lot in terms of new content. With all the work you’ve done you have probably read more than you can retain and heard more info than you can apply. So on that front, I would say the workshop might not be helpful. However, the thing I see missing in your program is connections and that might be worth the price of admission at EMB. You’re in a lot of groups, but you really have to assess your level of connection. I often talk with people who attend multiple meetings a week, but they have no idea the other guys’ last names, they’ve never met outside of the meetings, when they talk its all about recovery and the connection is overall fairly shallow. Hopefully thats not the case for you. The nice thing about the workshop is you have the opportunity to make a strong connection with other likeminded men and you guys walk away with a common language and understanding. I’d say at this point you have everything to gain and nothing to lose by attending. Either way, I encourage you to keep fighting!

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