What is the Every Man’s Battle Workshop?
The Every Man’s Battle Workshop is a three-day intensive program for men who are struggling with sexual integrity. If a man is involved with pornography, affairs, or other sexual temptations, this workshop will give him the tools to achieve victory in this battle. It is Christ-centered, and uses a combination of teaching sessions and small group work, led by licensed Christian counselors. Every Man’s Battle is presented by New Life Ministries.
What is New Life Ministries?
New Life Ministries is a nationally syndicated Christian radio/TV ministry and provider of programs dedicated to spiritual transformation. New Life was founded by Stephen Arterburn in 1988 as a Christian inpatient treatment organization, and then expanded into outpatient care and radio ministry in 1994. The New Life Live radio program is a one hour call-in broadcast hosted by Stephen Arterburn. The program airs on about 200 stations around the country and the Sirius XM Satellite Radio networks. Supporting the radio ministry is our New Life Resource Center, available toll free at 800-639-5433. Our Ministry Service Representatives assist over 10,000 callers each month in finding workshops, outpatient counselors, books, and other resources to meet their needs. In addition to the Every Man’s Battle workshop, New Life and our ministry partners also offer workshops and treatment for compulsive overeating, drug and alcohol addiction, anorexia and bulimia, and adolescent behavioral needs. New Life is the nation’s largest provider of Christian counseling services; our outpatient counseling network has nearly 1000 licensed counselors in more than forty states, offering individual and family counseling for every need.
How did the Every Man’s Battle workshops begin?
Immediately following the release of the book, Every Man’s Battle, written by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker, New Life Ministries saw a sharp increase in calls from those seeking help in this area. In November, 2000 we held our first workshop at a retreat center in eastern Maryland. The response was so great we immediately made plans to hold these workshops once per month in cities around the country. Now in our 12th year of offering these monthly events, approximately 8,000 men have attended an Every Man’s Battle workshop.
Where are the workshops located?
The workshops are held monthly at hotels in cities around the country. We always encourage a person in need to attend the next workshop scheduled rather than one that may be closer to home scheduled further in the future. Each workshop draws men from all over the country, some traveling a distance even when a workshop is coming to their area further out in the future.
What is included in the workshop?
Here are a few things included as part of the Every Man’s Battle Workshop:
- Two nights of lodging and six meals
- Eight teaching sessions on sexual integrity issues
- Seven small-group sessions led by Christian counselors for in-depth exploration of the teaching session topics
- A ratio of one counselor for every eight to ten attendees
- Airport shuttle for those arriving by air
What kinds of topics are covered?
- The Nature of Sexual Temptation
- False Intimacy
- Boundaries
- Restoring Trust and Communication in Marriage
- Temptation Cycles and How to Manage Them
- Emotional Conflicts Common in Recovery
- The Daily Disciplines in Recovery
- Shame: Its Impact and Its Management
- Relapse Prevention
Is there a limit to how many can attend?
Capacity varies depending on the location. We encourage early registration to ensure a place. Regardless of attendance, we are committed to having at least one counselor for every ten attendees.
Cancellations
- If you cancel 10 days or more prior to the workshop, you’ll receive a refund of the amount you’ve paid minus an administration fee of $200.
- If you cancel less than 10 days before the start of the workshop, no refund shall be given. Registration fees may be rolled over to another Every Man’s Battle workshop within the same calendar year, but a transfer fee of $100 per person will be assessed.
Who should attend this workshop?
The EMB workshop is for men who find themselves pulled into use of pornography, those who seek out sexual gratification through compulsive masturbation, massage parlors, or prostitutes, or those who have been involved in extramarital affairs.
The EMB workshop has had attendees who are married, single and divorced, those who have come from every denomination and major religion. Most men come to EMB reluctantly. The decision to get help is often at the urging—or in some cases ultimatum—of a wife who has reached a point where she cannot stay married unless her husband takes action. Other men are self-motivated, determined to rid themselves of this burden to their lives and finally willing to admit that they cannot do it alone. At New Life Ministries we have seen countless incidents of families being destroyed by this destructive problem. We’ve seen men lose their families and their spiritual walk as the sexual temptations that started in small ways begin to consume them.
Sexual addiction, like all other addictive behaviors, is progressive. What satisfies today at some point will not be enough, and the need for more intense stimulation will be required. Over the years we’ve spoken to hundreds of men who waited, able to convince themselves that occasional use of pornography was no big deal. Many of these men hit bottom only when the addiction worsened to include other forms of sexual acting-out. For some this only occurs after something worse – such as divorce – or irreversible – like a sexually transmitted disease, had crept into their lives. We want to help men take the steps necessary to be victorious over sexual temptation one day at a time. Our biggest goal is to help reach men before the problem ever becomes a consuming addiction; that is why we began the Every Man’s Battle Workshop.
Do you have anything for wives or girlfriends?
When a married man is struggling with sexual integrity problems, the emotional effects on the wife are often devastating. All of the hopes of fidelity and security that began on the wedding day may be shattered, and those wounds are not easily healed. Feelings of anger, mistrust, and betrayal are not repaired quickly or without work. We know that every married woman’s desire is to be in a relationship that is built on trust, secure in knowing that her husband is faithful to her in every way. For that reason we have established our three-day Women In The Battle Workshop, which is designed to help a wife or a girlfriend in this situation understand her role in her husband’s struggle and recovery.
Are meals included?
YES, all meals are included.
My husband not only was caught with pornography but he also was involved in an emotional affair with a co-worker. Does the workshop & book discuss emotional affairs, how to recognize them & how to prevent them?
I would like to know when the next Women in the Battle workshop is scheduled? Do you have any scheduled in Florida, Atlanta, or Charlotte, NC this year?
Well im not an adult yet, but I realize I have a problemm, what advice would you have for a 14 year old teenager? Should I try to adtend one of the meetings? Please any advice would help.
Dear Douglas, I just got on the website finally & saw your brave post. And altho it was last year, I hope you have gotten an answer from the Lord at least. As a brother in Christ I would say do whatever it takes. I wish I would have had this kind of info when I was 14, which was sometimes back in the 60′s. Instead, I struggled with it from age 12 until today. I had 19 mos of sobriety following the plan in the EMB book. But I got lazy, fell, & struggled since. And even tho it is physically difficult for me due to nerve damage in my back, it is still a battle in the mind. And it is something I want to have the Lord Lord of, not only to serve Him better, but also in case the Lord grants me the gift of marriage again. If you can get this under the Lordship of Jesus before you’re married, you will never regret the work you put into into it. You can’t do it alone. Accountability…it works when you work it.
I do hope that, if you have not attended one yet, that you do so as soon as possible. Not that the workshop is anything in & of itself. It is all of the Lord. I have known a few men unto God had granted the gift of celibacy. If it is not your gift, then be prepared to do whatever it takes. As it says in I Thes 4:3-4: “For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour;”.
God bless you Douglas.
Your brother in Christ & in arms, doug
I would like to receive more information for registration
Is it normal for a man who has a pornographic past to lose sexual drive? It is killing me most as much as the pornography itself
I
I honestly don’t know how much more I can take!! My husband claims to be a christian but is so much into his own sexual satisfaction. We’ve been married for over 13 years, I love him, but I’m tired. when and how much does your seminar cost?
Hi My brother and I are considering your every mans battle in philadelphia.
For some reason I did not see any info on the cost of the conference.
Please let me know this info. I really would appreciate it.
Thanks
The apple didn’t fall far from the tree, my 17 yr old son and I both struggle with sexual addiction. Is Every Man’s Battle a work shop where we can both attend??
Hi Terry,
We regularly have fathers & sons attend the workshop together. However, he needs to be 18 to attend. I wouldn’t let that stop you though; the sooner you get the tools you need, the sooner you can start passing them on to him!
Glad you are changing the course of legacy in your family Terry!
I am wondering if there is anything for Spanish Speakers. We are near Sacramento, CA. I am hoping (with God’s help) to convince my husband to attend as he started viewing pornography a few months back but I can already tell he is looking at it more frequently. This really hurts!
Even when he began, he promised not to do it again but that promise was broken very quickly. I don’t want to judge him, I want to be supportive but he really has to put an effort.
Is there a way to pay for this anonymously as a gift for an individual and maybe work with someone who could notify that person that this has been purchased for him?
It’s my dad. Being his adult daughter I don’t really feel that I’m in a place to actually confront him about his porn problem. Maybe if I was his son I could, but as a daughter I just don’t think I could bring the issue up to him becuase it would be too embarassing. I don’t think he even knows that I know. I’m worried about him and my mom. They’ve been married 36 years and now they are on the brink of divorce and I think my dad’s porn problem is one of the major factors in this.
Would you even recommend doing something like that if it could be done, or would it just make him get mad at my mom because he’d think that she had told someone?
You can certainly call the ministry and setup and anonymous sponsorship for someone to attend. If you call 1-800-639-5433 they should be able to help you.
However, I actually believe you could be a powerful influence in his process. It could carry tremendous weight for his adult daughter to sit him down at the kitchen table and say,
“Dad, I’m hurting for you. And for mom. And it is hurting me to see the two of you like this. I believe your porn problem is a big part of the issue. So I’ve made arrangements for you to attend an Every Mans Battle workshop to deal with it. Please, for my sake and yours, go get help.”
You may have an influence that your mother doesn’t because he may be numb to your mother’s pain. Alternatively, it could break him to see your pain.
I hope this helps.
Jason
Will there be any workshops within a reasonable driving distance from Dayton, Ohio, this year?
Hi Jonathan-
The next workshop will be in Dallas, TX in March. That’s probably drive-able in 14 hours or so. After that we’re in California, then I bet the next one will be on the East Coast somewhere.
Jason
My husband has had two affairs. The first one in our twelfth year of marriage and the second one five years later (last year). I found out about the affairs in Aug. 2012 one week before I was to give birth to our fourth child. He had an addiction to pornography since he was a young boy. He was told me about the affair five years ago, however; he didn’t tell me the whole truth. He told me it only happened once (really lasted for six months). After that partial confession, we were working towards rebuilding our marriage. We talked about him attending EMB (didn’t happen) because of financial struggles. I never thought he would do anything like this. Moreover, I never, never expected him to do this again. Subsequently, I do feel that he is truly repentant this time because I know the truth about everything. Moreover, he doesn’t want to hurt me anymore and I have seen (am seeing) brokenness. He is in counseling with a recommended counselor from New Life. Your blogs with your wife (kitchen topics) have been so helpful to me. Sharing your testimony has been equally comforting during this dark time. I am struggling with the fact that he did these things and how can I stay married to him. Some days I hate him and other days I want to forget that he had two affairs. Part of me wants to stay because of our children. The other part of me wants to move on and embrace something new. How can I be certain that he won’t continue to break our vows. He wants our marriage to be restored and is willing to do whatever it takes. I don’t feel up to the challenge. I am deeply hurt and that is an under statement. It seems so daunting-this could take years to get through. Can you help?
shon
Hi Shon,
Thanks for your question and your encouragement.
I feel like a broken record sometimes when I say that I’m sorry for your situation. But, truly, I am so sorry to hear that you’re faced with this. In your brief writing, there is hurt piled on top of hurt. I wish you didn’t have to endure that.
And let me just say that it is so, so normal to question every motive for staying. For the kids, for redemption, for fear of starting over, etc… all normal. My advice to you is to sit, wait and watch. You needn’t make any quick decisions about the future right now. Just watch what he does. He is seemingly repentant now, but is it just a flash in the pan? Wait and see. If he balked at EMB last time, I’d encourage him to go this time. If he doesn’t, there’s an indicator of his commitment.
Also, I think it is important to say that redemption is possible. There is hope. We see men every month at the workshop who leave determined to turn things around. Likewise I see it week after week in my office. It is going to be a difficult journey, but it is worth it in the end (assuming he puts everything he’s got into it). Lastly, you should think about attending Women in the Battle. Finding support and encouragement there would be a great thing for any wife in your shoes. My wife Shelley will be there too, and would love to say Hi and meet you.
My 16 year-old son is addicted to porn and has confessed that he started viewing it since he was 9. He is struggling with hormones as well now and feels that he cannot have any control over his urges. He needs to be in some accountability group, but none of your workshops is geared towards teenagers. Is there any group/organization that can help him? I’m finding this to be so pervasive and no longer just for men. I hurt for my son and need help for him! What would you suggest he do?
Hi Anne,
Thanks for reaching out. I’m sorry your son is struggling with this. Is his dad able to talk with him about it?
As for resources, the Every Young Man’s Battle book is a good place to start. After that, you might check out http://www.xxxchurch.com where there is some material geared toward teens.
Hope that helps!
Jason
Please send the upcoming workshops dates, towns and the cost. I am thinking of sponsoring a man who lives in Oregon. Thanks
Please supply the dates, towns, and costs for workshops who people can atttendfrom oregon. Thanks
Hey Tom,
Thanks for your inquiry! You’ll need to contact the folks at the call center for all that info. It’s 1-800-639-5433. That is fantastic that you want to sponsor someone. I think there are a couple of attendees in that boat each month and they are so thankful they were able to attend.
Myhusband and I have been married 20 years. he had 2 affairs during our 14 year of marriage and emotional affair that same year until I found out . he tried to get right and got saved but didn’t last until he reached out to search out communication with other women on the web.
I threw him out and was separated for the year, we did reconcile but with conditions. We celebrated our 20th and all seemed fine until I found out the month later he had kept in communication with the one he had an emotional affair with and not sure if it was physical and I saw porn again.
Now what!!! what else can I do but divorce this man. he is so blatant and sees nothing wrong. doesn’t even seem to be remorseful. unbelievable. after all that God has done to restore us and redeem us to go back to his vomit.
How much does the Every Man’s Battle workshop cost and is there any financial assistance available?
What would be the cost of the workshop being held in Washington DC?
I really need anonimity and quiet…can I get a room by myself?
Thank You
My husband had an affair 11 yrs ago. We have reconnected and survived and continue to survive one of the most difficult times in our Christian lives. Now our son has had an affair and pornography. I see you are having a workshop in Dallas in March. I would like information on the cost, schedule, times of arrival departure etc….My husband has been reaching out and trying to give Godly advice but our son is seemly out of reach. Possibly they could attend this seminar together and then our son’s wife and I could attend the one for women. Appreciate any information that you can share.
Hi Melba,
Thanks for writing. The workshop info is available by calling the ministry – 1-800-639-5433. I know there are spaces available at the Dallas workshop. It would be a fantastic idea for them to attend together. They can both learn about true intimacy, about the underlying factors that drive infidelity/porn and what a recovery plan looks like. I believe God cares about legacies, and He wants to redeem the legacy of your family. Especially the men in your family. They have to be willing to take that step. I hope they will.
When you call, also ask about Women in the Battle. It would be good for both of you to attend. My wife Shelley will be there as well to share a bit about her story and to talk with ladies who have questions.
Hope this helps!