I’m not the best CEO of my life.

Lately I’ve been reminded that I’m not the best CEO of my life. Seriously, I don’t manage my life very well. If outcomes are up to me, they probably aren’t going to be that positive. That’s not a statement of shame or of low self-esteem; it’s a statement of fact. If I look back on my track record as CEO I have mostly brokenness to show for it:

  • porn addiction
  • serial adultery
  • emotional abuse
  • angry outbursts
  • general disrespect for people
  • objectification
  • lies

When I deal honestly with myself¬† I can say that I don’t run Jason Martinkus Inc. very well. I am inept. I am incompetent. And that’s exactly why I need a savior.

If my own thinking, wisdom, creativity, craftiness, planning and executing served to bring success, happiness, significane to life and meaningful relationships then I wouldn’t need a savior. There would be no space for God’s sovereignty and power, for his miracles, for his grace and mercy, for his peace, or for the Holy Spirit to intercede. If I did a perfect job of learning from my mistakes then I’d have this life down to a science. I wouldn’t need God’s art.

This is the essence of Step 1 of the 12 Steps. To admit that we are powerless over our sin and that our lives are unmanageable. To surrender the notion that we’ve got it altogether. To remove ourselves from the altar of our lives. But it’s more than just admitting and surrendering, it is also redefining our identity. You see, I am incompetent to run my life well, but that is not my identity. I’m not worthless or less lovable because of my inability to manage things. I’m not a lesser human. It simply means I’m not a savior, and that I need a savior. Our identity is found in the reality of God’s infinite love and acceptance of us. Incompetence and all. It’s in the fact that he knew the depth of our brokenness and chose us anyway.

If you’re running You Inc., I encourage you to fire yourself. Hand over the corporate controls to Jesus. You may not be the best CEO of your life – and that doesn’t define you. It means you need a savior.

5 thoughts on “I’m not the best CEO of my life.

  1. I really love this blog and it has ministered to me. Even though i stuggle with things I know that through the holy spirit I can overcome ALL. Bless you for all that you do

  2. Thank you and you hit the nail on the head. We can not manage our lives and we do need a Savior. Our Lord, Jesus Christ and God our father saved me 2 1/2 years ago. I was brought to my knees in tears for all that I did wrong. I admitted all of my wrong doings to my wife and began to live life with Jesus walking beside me and sometimes he would carry me because I thought I couldn’t make it. My track record was exactly the same as yours. It is a struggle at times but I reach out to Our Savior and he helps me through it when I need it the most. Thank you for ministering and I hope everyone can allow God our Father and his son Jesus Christ to be the CEO of our lives. God Bless.

  3. Tell it like it is! Everyday I fire myself and everyday Jesus gives me another shot at making it right. It’s worth the battle because the benefits are like no other. Just be willing to face your weaknesses with God as your employer.

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