Every month at EMB we hear stories of marriages that appear to be over. Some of them are in the latter stages of being over, technically speaking. Papers have been filed, separation arrangements made and conversations regarding the division of assets have ensued. We know that many guys get to EMB via ultimatum; their wives have finally had enough and won’t settle any longer so they insist their husbands attend. I think some men, while they outwardly express reluctance to attend, secretly are thankful for their wives insistence. It’s the nudge they need to take action against this struggle.
After the workshop we see men with renewed commitments to win back their wives. They are willing to do the difficult work of full disclosure and humble, servant leadership. Guys often realize the treasure they have in the woman they’ve seen as the enemy. In one recent conversation between an attendee, 2 staff counselors and myself the attendee recounted how his divorce will be final in less than a month. He described how certain his wife is that he’ll never change and how futile the effort to work at the relationship. He even admitted that to this point her efforts were futile, because he was unwilling to change. One of the counselors looked at him and said, “the story isn’t over til it’s over”. Quickly the other counselor chimed in and talked of two couples he’s aware of that divorced and recently came back together. The attendee basically wouldn’t hear it. He was so convinced that it’s over he couldn’t hear the hope in what the counselors were saying. He was, in effect, saying that his relationship is beyond what God is capable of.
I urge you not to lose sight of hope. If you’re in that place where the marriage is over and you or your spouse has cashed it in, please at least leave open the possibility that things may change. God may intervene and when He does, hearts get softened and reconciliation is possible. Remember, with God, the story isn’t over til it’s over.