New Years Resolution = No More Porn

The new year is approaching, and so are the resolutions. For a ton of men around the country their resolution will be to quit porn. Maybe it will be yours? Unfortunately many of those same men will decide they can do so in quiet isolation, keeping their secrets to themselves, thinking they can pray their way out of an addiction they’ve behaved their way into.

It just won’t happen.

You’ll never find freedom this way.

The road to perpetual disappointment is paved with resolutions, good intentions and is littered with failed attempts to quit.  As my friend Doug Barnes, an EMB Counselor says, the road to freedom is paved with connection, accountability and relationships.

I hope you’ll change your new year’s resolution. Instead of quitting porn, I urge you to commit to daily accountability. Instead of focusing on what you want to stop, begin to focus on what you want to start. Resolve yourself to finding a couple of people willing to walk this with you: every single day. Ask them to receive your phone calls and to call you, to encourage you in the struggle and to demand you take next steps for help like counseling or the EMB workshop. If you’re married, ask them to help you find new ways to pursue your wife (non-sexually) and to serve her well. Ask them to help you renew your relationship with God and find new ways to pursue Him. With the help of people willing to walk with you, porn can become a distant memory. It will take time and effort, but it will be worth it. If you will commit to daily connection with God and a few healthy, safe men, your life will be different in a year.

2012 can be the year it all changes. I hope it will be for you.

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Jason Martinkus

About Jason Martinkus

After sexual addiction almost took his life and his marriage, he began the recovery process and by the grace of God is now a free man. He was called out of the corporate world and into the ministry where today his personal mission is to help other men understand, prevent, and break free from sexual sin. As an EMB program director he speaks at events monthly, leads Sustained Victory groups, and trains leaders to help other men. Jason received his Masters Degree in Counseling from Denver Seminary and currently has a private practice in Denver, Colorado.

2 thoughts on “New Years Resolution = No More Porn

  1. I can relate to this, Jason and posted as much on the EMB community site a week or 2 back before I read this. I was totally at loose ends when it came to trying to quit on my own, I just could never manage it for more than a few days or a week at best. Every January and my birthday in May, I would steel myself for another attempt at will power in isolation, on my own. It never lasted. I finally gave up trying and convinced myself I couldn’t change. Until I was forced to make a choice, addiction or divorce. Then I found out I could change, but just not by myself on my own.

    The EMB workshop kick started my freedom, then a small EMB group that grew out of the guys in my area that went to the workshop. Then into secular recovery groups and finally in Celebrate Recovery. I was petrified to walk in the door of each new group along the way, but it was the best thing I ever did for myself and our marriage, not that I knew it at the time. All I knew back then was that I was desperate and in need of help, somewhere, anywhere.

    I cannot believe what God has accomplished over the last 6 or 7 years. Our marriage is restored to better than it ever was. There is a peace with God I never experienced in the years of my addiction and peace inside of me. I’m more comfortable in my own skin as it were. But none of it would have happened without taking a risk, that first step in a recovery group or the EMB workshop. What I experienced in all of them was what I needed all along: a place without shame where I could open up and finally get honest with myself. But in a group with guys who have been there, done that, and found a way out of the trap of addiction.

  2. I listen to the testimonies and see how painful this problem i have is hurting me. There are times that i hate myself and wanting to punch a break wall until i can’t punch any more. I want to cry but it seems hard to do. Im tired of falling to this same sin.

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