Tag Archives: addiction

New Years Resolution = No More Porn

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The new year is approaching, and so are the resolutions. For a ton of men around the country their resolution will be to quit porn. Maybe it will be yours? Unfortunately many of those same men will decide they can do so in quiet isolation, keeping their secrets to themselves, thinking they can pray their way out of an addiction they’ve behaved their way into.

It just won’t happen.

You’ll never find freedom this way.

The road to perpetual disappointment is paved with resolutions, good intentions and is littered with failed attempts to quit.  As my friend Doug Barnes, an EMB Counselor says, the road to freedom is paved with connection, accountability and relationships.

I hope you’ll change your new year’s resolution. Instead of quitting porn, I urge you to commit to daily accountability. Instead of focusing on what you want to stop, begin to focus on what you want to start. Resolve yourself to finding a couple of people willing to walk this with you: every single day. Ask them to receive your phone calls and to call you, to encourage you in the struggle and to demand you take next steps for help like counseling or the EMB workshop. If you’re married, ask them to help you find new ways to pursue your wife (non-sexually) and to serve her well. Ask them to help you renew your relationship with God and find new ways to pursue Him. With the help of people willing to walk with you, porn can become a distant memory. It will take time and effort, but it will be worth it. If you will commit to daily connection with God and a few healthy, safe men, your life will be different in a year.

2012 can be the year it all changes. I hope it will be for you.

Press: Battling their sex addiction

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Laguna Beach-based New Life Ministries specializes in workshops to help men with a problem that can be as damaging as drug, alcohol addiction.

While many associate sex addiction with the high-profile struggles of celebrities like Tiger Woods or David Duchovny, Laguna Beach-based New Life Ministries says the issue isn’t just a problem for those in the public eye.

Instead, they say, it’s an addiction that everyday men suffer in private.

Founder of New Life Ministries Steve Arterburn said he didn’t realize the demand for sex addiction counseling until he co-authored the book, “Every Man’s Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time,” with Fred Stoeker more than 10 years ago.

With more than 3 million copies sold, Arterburn decided to start an intensive workshop to address the needs of thousands of men who claimed to be struggling with sexual addiction.

He said he heard a statistic that as many as one in three people are affected by sexual addiction.

Read the full article

God is Faithful

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Last weekend we hosted EMB 2.0 in San Diego. If you haven’t heard, it was an alumni event open to anyone who has attended an EMB workshop. We had guys there who went to EMB 10 years ago to as recent as 2 weeks ago. It was a great crowd. There was an energy and relaxed feel to the room the entire weekend. You could see that some guys were walking in a new freedom; a new life that was birthed at EMB 1.0.
At breakfast one morning a gentleman shared with me a few details of his journey thus far. After 40+ years of sexual addiction, he attended EMB in 2010 and began to faithfully walk out what God was calling him to. He lamented the difficulty of not going back to the addiction and the reality that sometimes he misses it. In fact, over the weekend, he had plans in the back of his mind to act out with an old mistress. He was determined to stay the course, yet struggled with giving in to the thoughts of acting out.

Then God showed up.

While considering how to engage the old addictive patterns this man pondered the opportunity to leave the workshop premises and drive to meet someone. On the way to the workshop he noticed his transmission acting up a bit though. Once he arrived on site, he got out of his car, entered the hotel and checked in. When he went back out to move his car it wouldn’t engage. The transmission simply would not go into gear. HE COULDN’T LEAVE. So he called a towing company and the car towed to a repair shop.
Later, he again was struggling with temptation. He began thinking about texting a woman. “Maybe she could just meet me here, at the hotel”, he thought. In the meantime he needed to respond to a legitimate text, so he took out his phone, clicked into the text screen and began typing. When he hit send, the phone responded with a message indicating text service was unavailable. HE COULDN’T TEXT. He literally showed me the phone that morning and attempted to send a text. I witnessed the phone message and the inability to use text service.

This isn’t the first time I’ve heard a story like this. God is faithful. He will show up. We have to look for Him. When you’re tempted, take time to think about why, and consider how God might be offering you a way out.

1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.