More Than A Mother’s Love

Stephen Arterburn

Mothers undoubtedly make tremendous contributions to their sons’ mental, emotional, and social development. And you’ll be hard-pressed to find an adult son who doesn’t love and appreciate his mother immensely for it. But a boy’s successful development requires the substantial, positive, masculine influence of a father or male mentor. For only a man can teach a boy how to be a man. Dr. Frank Pittman, a psychiatrist specializing in the treatment of men, says this:

‘A mother may give her son booming self-esteem, may imbue him with a wonderful sense of his specialness, but she can’t have expertise on what he as a man is to do with the masculine specialness. Mothers, no matter how wise and wonderful, can only point boys in certain directions, but boys need fathers to show them how far they should go’It’s hard to imagine how we can raise a better generation of sons until we have a better generation of fathers.’

Many people think a father’s weak or missing influence in the life of a growing son can be compensated for by feminine influence. Ultimately, this isn’t the case. Growing up as a male with a female as primary mentor can lead to at least some degree of role confusion. When a young boy’s self-concept isn’t shaped by the man in his life, he’s bound to have trouble understanding his own masculinity in a healthy way, and be anxious and frustrated as a result.

Rites Of Passage

Stephen Arterburn

Many young men are in a state of limbo because they’re confused about when boyhood ends and manhood begins. Our culture has no identifiable rite of passage to announce, affirm, or celebrate this transition.

Many cultures around the world understand the need for such rites of passage. There’s an African tribe where, on the day of induction, one of the boy’s adult teeth is knocked out. Males who still have that tooth act and are treated like boys. Males who have lost that tooth act and are treated like men. The induction ceremony is often painful and frightening for an adolescent boy. But afterward he flaunts his painful wounds as proud proof of his manhood.

One Native American nation had a similar rite of passage. During the winter of induction, a boy was taken to a frozen lake. A hole was cut in the ice through which the boy dove three times to the bottom of the lake. Each time he brought up a stone from the bottom, which, from that day forward, he carried in a pouch around his neck as tangible proof that he was a man.

Of course, I’m not suggesting the reinstitution of these particular rites of passage! I’m only stating that no appropriate rites of passage exist in our society. I do, however, think we need them. Today’s young men usually have no idea when the transition to manhood should take place, leaving them confused, frustrated, and angry as a result.

Celebrating His Attributes: The Message of Love from the Manger

Pastor Ed Grant

It was the day after Christmas. The pastor of St. John Lutheran Church approached the sanctuary from the parking lot and noticed that the beautiful, life-size nativity scene on the front lawn had an empty cr’che. He shook his head in disbelief and looked up and down the deserted road. About a block away he saw a young boy pulling a shiny red wagon with a passenger in the back: it was the baby Jesus. The pastor ran towards the boy and called out to him. When he reached the boy he asked him what he was doing with baby Jesus. The boy answered, ‘The week before Christmas I came to the manger and had a talk with baby Jesus. I promised Him that, if I got a red wagon, I’d come back and give Him a ride in it. I was just keeping my promise.’

There is a beautiful innocence about the boy’s attitude toward Jesus: He considered Jesus very approachable. As I prepared my Christmas sermon this year and considered the timeless accounts of the nativity I was profoundly touched by the message of love from the manger. I hope God refreshes your heart with a renewed sense of His love for you.

The first truth I grasped is that God comes to us whether we think we are ready or not. There is an old saying that goes ‘time and tides wait for no one.’ Surely a baby’s entrance into the world can be added to that list. No matter what we are doing when junior decides to enter the world, we stop what we’re doing and make for the hospital right away (Romans 5:8). When God reveals Himself to someone He doesn’t wait until the person feels worthy or until he has achieved some victory over the sinful aspects of his life. In fact, I have observed that He usually comes to us when life seems broken beyond repair or when we become painfully aware of our sins against Him. When we’ve exhausted every attempt to blame others for our failures and mistakes and finally accept personal responsibility, God is there to meet us.

St. Paul, who regarded himself as the ‘chief of sinners’, wrote, ‘While we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.’ His amazing love encourages us to turn from our sins and our self-directed life and gives us hope that He is willing to forgive us, fill us, heal us, and receive us as His beloved children.

Secondly, I realized how vulnerable God made Himself when He sent His Son as a babe in the manger. More than any other creature God fashioned, babies are the most helpless creatures for the longest period of time. Feeding, dressing, cleaning – the parental responsibility list seems endless. Isn’t it amazing that God made His Son to need the care of His earthly parents? His vulnerability also means that He was susceptible to the full range of emotions and hurts we experience: rejection, betrayal, anger, surprise, laughter, joy and grief. He is still susceptible to these emotions. That’s the paradox of love: You cannot love imperfect people and open yourself to receive their love without the potential for pain. God is willing to take that risk with you!

Finally, I was deeply moved as I considered how much love a baby requires. Most babies enjoy being held, cooed at, watching adults make funny faces at them, playing peek-a-boo, hearing music, being carried around, danced with and bounced on the knee. Babies always seem to stir up the funniest reactions in people, even during Sunday worship. More than once I’ve watch a baby steal the show when a parent puts him on their shoulder during the sermon. Adults for two full rows back can’t resist waving to the baby or making faces at him!

When I think about the baby Jesus in a manger I observe a profound invitation from God to love Him back. Read that again and let it soak into your heart.

Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and everyone who loves the father loves his child as well.’(1 John 5:1) God wants us to love Him by loving His most precious Son. All the love God has for you is bound up in that precious child Who would one day give His life in your place. He left the splendor and glory of heaven and came to us in a way that everyone can receive Him – even a boy with a red wagon.