Celebrating God’s Attributes: His Goodness

Gary Burkle

One of the blessings of being a child of God is the imparting, by God, of some of His attributes into the believer. The holy Spirit is the indwelling presence of God in the believer. “And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Counselor to be with you forever- the Spirit of truth.” (John 14:16-17)

When we accept Christ as Savior, He sends the Holy Spirit, the counselor, to live within us. We know some of the significant attributes of the Holy Spirit from Galatians 5:22…(“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, GOODNESS, faithfulness, and self-control”). Therefore, Goodness is one of the attributes God imparts to us as part of the gift of salvation.

We, then, can allow the Holy Spirit to affect us and our behavior through a series of conscious choices throughout our life. He helps make us GOOD.

This is one of the true blessings of accepting Christ as Lord and Savior. As we grow in our walk with God in the Christian life we become a better and better (a GOOD) person. This is a by-product of the Christian life-style. We humans are truly blessed to be able to participate with God in His goodness through this phenomenon.

We are able to access the attribute of God’s Goodness in our own life’s behaviors and actions by becoming more like Christ. We do this, in some measure, by developing the “Mind of Christ”

. “…the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace.” (Romans 8:6) We develop the “Mind of Christ” by conversing with him through prayer, learning and internalizing His word (reading/studying the Bible), and through fellowship with fellow believers (the Church/smaller Christian groups). Certainly the indwelling “counselor,” “advisor,” the Holy Spirit helps us in this endeavor of having a Christian life-style.

Now let’s look at a practical application. Purity as a life-style choice: If we are struggling with sexual sin, purity in our life is the key to successful recovery. Purity in thought and deed is incompatible with continued sinning in the sexual area. Sinning in the sexual area of the Christian’s life is defined as sexual contact outside of marriage. In addition, the obsessive viewing of pornography resulting in dysfunctional levels of masturbation, qualifies as sexual sin. A sexually driven thought life is a tell-tale sign of these sins, as well. A sexually driven thought life objectifies the object of our lust and, therefore, dehumanizes a child of God. This is a sin, pure and simple. These inappropriate thoughts also often lead to sinful behaviors, and are incompatible with the holy living life-style urged by the Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit is good and pure and demands that the believer adapt to His standards to allow His continued relationship with us. We must be good and pure to provide an appropriate home for the indwelling Holy Spirit. In turn, He will empower us to experience his attributes, such as goodness and purity, through his power.

To be sure, all humans will be tempted by inappropriate and/or sinful thoughts. There is a spiritual war going on all around us. Part of that spiritual war is the bombardment of our minds with tempting images or thoughts. This can be complicated and exacerbated in our minds if we have engaged in sexual sin in the past.

The more sin we have been involved in, the more challenging images and thoughts we must deal with. In our past sexual sin, we have moved from the tempting thoughts or “triggers” into sinful behaviors, as described above. The more we have done this sexual sinning, the more difficult our struggle for goodness and purity will be now. Most of us need help in this “battle”.

The best answer to successfully combat these maladaptive thoughts and behaviors is found in the principles taught in the Every Man’s Battle workshops. The practical teachings available in the EMB workshops are the best hope for an individual’s successful recovery process. Successful recovery is defined as sexual purity or sexual sobriety.

The principles taught in EMB are tried-and-true principles based on the addiction model. These principles work when diligently applied by the individual. The true key to the success of the EMB workshop model, however, is that it is Biblically based. The EMB workshop model is, at root, based on Biblical truth, and therefore, represents the best hope for success. God bless you in your “Battle.” It is worth the fight.

Understanding Your Wife’s Heart: Part 1

New Life Ministries

Your wife can be your ‘comrade in arms’ if she understands the battle for sexual purity and the road you have chosen for sexual integrity. Because male sexual impurity can be unsettling, even shocking, to women, we’ve included this section of interviews with women regarding Every Man’s Battle to give you awareness of how to relate better to your wife and communicate with her in your struggle to be and stay free. Be aware there’s a natural tug-of-war in the hearts of women between pity and disgust, between mercy and judgment.

Cathy: ‘I did not know the depth that men would go and the risk they would take to satisfy their desires. I was unaware of how intense these temptations are and how much defense a man must muster to avoid stepping over God’s boundaries.’

Fawn: ‘I was surprised to learn that Christian men have this problem even after they’re married. I found the intensity of the problem to be shocking.’

Andrea: (From talking with her father and different guys she dated, she knew men were easily attracted visually. But she never realized the major extent of their struggle until she met her future husband.) ‘At the time, he was my closest friend in the youth group, but we were not romantically inclined. He did feel safe enough with me to share his problem with pornography. It was quite a battle for him, as he had first been exposed to it in third grade. I was a little amazed by it all because, although I was attracted to guys by their looks during my dating years, the physical attraction I felt was nothing compared to what a man feels when looking at a woman.’

 Brenda: ”It affects my trust in men, knowing that pastors and deacons could have this problem. I don’t like it that men lustfully take advantage of women in their thoughts, although I realize that women can be largely to blame because of what they wear. It’s at least some comfort to know that many men have this problem.’

How much mercy can be found in a woman’s heart when she looks upon this problem? Not surprisingly, it depends upon her husband’s situation.

Ellen: After hearing about this, I was surprised that married men would have so much trouble. I feel very sorry for them. When I asked my own husband about it, he was honest with me that he had some struggles, and at first I was hurt. Then I just felt thankful that he would share with me. He hasn’t had a major problem in this area, for which I’m thankful.’

Cathy: ‘My husband is regularly bombarded with sexy images, and I was pleased with his honesty regarding that. I want to know the temptation he faces. It will only help me be more sympathetic to his plight. I didn’t feel betrayed because he’s proven faithful in this battle. Other women are not so lucky.’

What about women whose husbands have been losing big in the battle?

Deena: ‘When my husband and I talked about this, he was honest and I was very angry with him. I was hurt. I felt deeply betrayed because I’d been dieting and working out to keep my weight down so that I would always look nice to him. I couldn’t figure out why he still needed to look at other women.’

Women told us that they struggle between pity and anger. Their feelings may ebb and flow with the tide of their husband’s battle. Encourage your wife to pray for you.

For more help on this subject see, Every Man’s Battle.
If you have already attended Every Man’s Battle, bless your wife by attending our couples program at our next New Life Weekend.

Understanding Your Wife’s Heart: Part 2

New Life Ministries

Your wife can be your ‘comrade in arms’ if she understands the battle for sexual purity and the road you have chosen for sexual integrity. Because male sexual impurity can be unsettling, even shocking, to women, we’ve included this section of interviews with women regarding Every Man’s Battle to give you awareness of how to relate better to your wife and communicate with her in your struggle to be and stay free. Be aware there’s a natural tug-of-war in the hearts of women between pity and disgust, between mercy and judgment.

As a man, you’ve no doubt become aware of how much men and women differ sexually.

Heather: ‘I’m starting to be more understand and sensitive to my husband’s feelings. Men are always in the mood.’

Andrea: ‘Through the years I’ve come to read my husband’s body signals and usually, even if I’m tired or don’t feel good, I can appreciate his sexual needs, so I do my part to satisfy him. I have to admit, though, I’ve had times that I felt resentful, wondering why my emotional needs weren’t as important as his physical needs. I’ve told him repeatedly what my needs are for intimacy to better satisfy him and not feel like I’m just an object for his physical pleasure. Although my husband is wonderful in so many ways, he still slips up in this area, and I have to remind him often.’

Andrea: (warming to the subject) ‘Ann Landers once ran a series of stories of women who couldn’t care less about sex anymore. My husband asked me how I felt about that. I told him honestly that I could appreciate where those women were coming from sometimes. He looked surprised, but I went on to say that I could understand why they despise sex if their husbands had never done anything to please their wives, and done only what it took to satisfy themselves.’

It can often be difficult for wives not to be repulsed by the male tendency to draw sexual satisfaction from the eyes.

Rhonda: When I first heard about how men are, it seemed so wild and unlike anything I could imagine. I had a hard time believing it and occasionally even wondered if men were making it up. But having accepted the differences. I can now say that I have a good attitude about the whole thing.’

Cathy: ‘Understanding that his desires have a physiological basis has helped me be more sensitive to a very real need. I used to think that Victoria’s Secret was a store for sleazy women. My husband helped me understand that my wearing ‘intimate apparel’ was a big plus for him. I think Christian women need to feel freer to use whatever turns their man on.’

At the same time, wives have to be careful of how their appearance can turn on other men. The Bible instructs women to dress modestly (1 Timothy 2:9), but many women tend to take such verses lightly. When shopping, some women will look for ‘something attractive,’ when they really mean ‘something sexy.’ They want the sweater that sets off their breasts, the low-cut dress that sets off their hourglass figures. While these may be nice for your husband, what about the rest of the men you know?

Cathy: ‘I don’t think that most women are consciously aware of what other men are thinking. Now that I know how intense the temptations are that my husband and other men face, I’m more careful how I dress.’

After attending Every Man’s Battle, we strongly encourage you to attend our marriage program at our New Life Weekend.  This weekend will help your marriage to heal from the wounds of impurity and will especially help your wife with questions that she still may have.