Why is This Day Different Than All Other Days?

Wes Mason

In Jewish tradition the youngest child begins the Passover meal, or seder, by asking the question, “Why is this night different from all other nights?” The rest of the celebration is an answer to that question; through the foods they eat, the way those foods are prepared, and the way they eat them, the story of that fateful night, when God delivered his people from captivity, is recreated. It’s a memorial of how they worked together, under God’s protection, to escape their captors and find freedom.

Americans could learn from this. For too many of us Independence Day has become just another day off of work, a day for good deals on mattresses and new cars, a day for barbecues and beach trips. We would do well to learn from our Jewish friends by asking ourselves the same question: “Why is this day different than all other days?”

Now this is not intended to draw a moral equivalence between Egypt’s enslavement of the Jews and King George III’s onerous taxation of the colonies. But the freedoms we enjoy in America today–to worship God as we choose, to speak freely, to elect those who govern us–were all rooted in that fateful July 4th day in 1776 when the Declaration of Independence was ratified, with John Hancock’s eloquent signature below Thomas Jefferson’s even more eloquent closing line, “With a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.” We see here another example of a group of people bonded together, under God’s protection, taking the first steps toward freedom.

Christ set us free with his death on the cross and resurrection. God gave us this wonderful gift, a gift greater than a walk across the Red Sea, far greater than thirteen Free and Independent States. And like those whom He set free in Egypt and Philadelphia He gave us one more thing to ensure that freedom: each other. The Jews in Egypt needed each other to make it to freedom on that Passover night. Our nation’s founders needed that “mutual pledge to each other” to see their vision of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness realized. God puts people in our lives because the connection in those relationships is the key to our freedom.

So if you’re struggling today, if addiction or emotional pain are holding you captive, if you want real freedom on this Independence Day, reach out to others. Give up on the “just me and God” plan that isn’t His plan and hasn’t worked for you anyway; ask someone for help. God has put people in your life to lead you to freedom; He’s ready right now for you to take that first step to connect with people around you, those who care about you. Make July 4, 2007 your Passover Night, Independence Day, and Resurrection Sunday all rolled into one. A year from now–and God willing each year after that–you may find yourself reflecting back, asking yourself, “Why is this day different than all other days?”

Focus On Being

How can men begin breaking through the masculine myth of ‘you-are-what-you-do’ and see that their true identity is in Jesus Christ. Once you grasp that, you can begin relating to other people, especially other men, apart from what they do. We must open up our schedules, set aside our Day-Timers, and get to the business of allowing our identity in Christ to liberate and transform our human relationships.

A friend named Nathan meets each week with a group of four other men to do what men rarely do. They purposely avoid talking about what they do in order to talk about who they are and how they feel. They’re learning to peel away the layers of ingrained masculine facade; to give and receive the nurture, affirmation, and encouragement they desperately need but are often too ‘manly’ to seek.

Recently Nathan shared a painful issue with his friends. His father lays dying in a nursing home. He’s incapacitated. His mind is totally gone. Nathan visits him, and helps dress and care for him. What he wants more than anything is to hear these words from his father before he dies: ‘Nathan, you’re a good son.’ But he knows he never will.

Nathan’s friends let him share these painful and vulnerable feelings, and offer consolation and encouragement as he deals with his pain and loss. There aren’t many men who function together as these five do. But that can change. And perhaps you’ll be part of that change.

Steve Arterburn

What are the 4 Pillars of Purity?

Jonathan Daugherty

Most of us desire purity. We really do. Our heart longs for it, the Spirit of God within us points us to it, and the dissatisfaction of impurity confirms our longing. But how many of us, if we were honest, would have to admit that our desire for purity alone has not produced long-term results? To want purity is one thing, to walk in purity is quite another.

So, what does it actually take to live every day in sexual purity? And how can we implement these principles into our daily lives?

There are 4 Pillars of Purity that are necessary for anyone who desires to live each day in sexual purity. Let’s go over each Pillar and then I will offer practical ways to implement them into your daily life.

Pillar #1 Profess the Struggle

Humility is the doorway to freedom and purity. Once you recognize your struggle with impurity and confess that you are incapable of conquering it on your own, you are on your way to the exciting adventure of purity. This Pillar is critical, however, because without admitting your need there is no hope of long-term change. And remember, God opposes the proud, but gives GRACE to the humble. (James 4:6)

Practical application:

– Write in a journal your primary struggles and confess your powerlessness over them.

– Share with a pastor or friend your struggle with sexual temptation and your inability to manage it.

– Pray to God, sharing with Him your weaknesses and desire to walk in purity.

Pillar #2 – Understand Triggers

For a solution to really work you must address the problem, not the symptoms. The ways you act out (i.e. viewing pornography, masturbating, affairs, etc.) are much less important factors to address than the attitudes, environment, and temptations preceding. To understand your triggers is to study and evaluate your typical patterns that lead to acting out. This requires brutal honesty and a willingness to deal ferociously with these triggers in order to create effective strategies of escape when faced with sexual temptation.

Practical application:

– Use Be Broken’s “Online Personal Inventory & Evaluation Form” to assess you triggers and build a strategy for purity.

– Write out all the things you can remember that typically precede your acting out.

– Share your triggers with a pastor, friend, or trusted band of brothers and develop concrete strategies for responding to each trigger.

Pillar #3 – Relate with God

Apart from the healing power of the Lord Jesus Christ there is no hope for long-term freedom from sexual sin. Relating with God is essential to experiencing growing freedom from sexual acting out. The idea of relating with God can seem foreign, even intimidating, but by growing in intimacy with your Creator you build strength of character and gain wisdom in battling sexual temptation.

Practical application:

– Read and study God’s Word every day – even when you don’t feel like it.

– Pray every day. This is simply talking with God. A good “tool” to use to help you get started is the A.C.T.S. method: Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication. Praying the Psalms is another good exercise in learning to pray.
– Begin talking to God throughout the day in any and all circumstances.

Pillar #4 – Engage Others

As powerful and important as the three previous Pillars of Purity are they come up short of providing long-term freedom apart from the Pillar of engaging others. This may sound heretical considering Pillar #3 is Relating with God, but without fellowship and accountability it is virtually impossible to maintain sexual purity. You were designed for relationship – with God and others. Developing deep, lasting relationships with others will provide the support, encouragement, and accountability you need to consistently walk in purity. You simply cannot maintain freedom on your own.

Practical application:

– Attend a support group regularly.

– Be willing to deepen your friendships by sharing your struggle and seeking their support.

– Help get a purity group started in your church or community.

You will notice that the 4 Pillars of Purity form an acronym, P.U.R.E. We hope this will make it easier for you to remember as you pursue being a man of purity. And as you resolve to offer each day to God as a day of sexual thought purity, we invite you to share your story with others so they might benefit from it. Just log into the Message Boards or Chat room and connect with other like-minded brothers. You have nothing to lose ‘ but your sexually destructive habits.

See Every Man’s Battle.