Hey Jesus, your sacrifice was wasted

I’m angry today. I’m frustrated. I’m hurt. I’m feeling overwhelmed and a little beat down. More than all that, I’m feeling a sense of resignation. Like giving up.

On what…you might ask…

On us.

I was on radio yesterday for 3 hours and story after story, caller after caller had the same situation. Someone in their life has basically looked Jesus in the eyes and said, “Hey, Jesus, your sacrifice was wasted on me. That whole ‘full life’ thing you talked about…nah, I’ll pass.”

Rather than resolve to live in humility, under God’s sovereign wing, surrendering to what he may be calling us to, we’ve allowed ourselves to fall into a dull, mediocre life justified with Scripture, rationalized with the realities of life’s difficulties, medicated with sex, money, alcohol, entertainment, sports and even church. We succumb to the gravitational pull towards brokenness, revenge, entitlement, greed, selfishness and perhaps worst of all, mediocrity.

I just can’t get my head around that Jesus came to earth, was beaten, abused, rejected, kicked out of his hometown, insulted, ridiculed and then murdered. For us. How many times during his life, especially in the 3yr period of his main ministry, did he think about cashing it in? So much easier to have been a fisherman. Or a tax collector. Or a pharisee. Anything other than following God’s call. Anything other than the way of pain and persecution.

But he didn’t give up. He didn’t resign. He didn’t give excuses for why it was too hard. He didn’t sit around pointing the finger at others, complaining about Peter being a hothead or Thomas being a whiner. He didn’t spend his time playing the victim card, trying to make some psychobabble justification for a mediocre life today based upon the fact that his parents forgot about him as a kid. He just, as best I can tell, woke up each day, looked it in the face, and adopted a posture of willingness to be led by the Spirit and committment to faithfully following the Father. He didn’t give up on me. Or you.

So I can’t resign or give up either. Because He didn’t. Hopefully, if you’re struggling with resignation, you won’t let it win the day. If nothing else, as an act of worship and a response to the model before us. Maybe today you decide to stop letting the past define your present, and ripoff your future. Perhaps today you decide to own your junk, and apologize to the people whom you love and have hurt the most. Maybe today you decide that it doesn’t matter whose fault it is, but you’ll be the one to take the first step towards fixing it. I hope so.

**UPDATE**

Strangely enough, after I sat down to write today, I saw Shelley’s latest post. I wanted you to see it too. Turns out we’re channeling the same wavelength – https://rlforwomen.com/whats-breaking-my-heart-today/

Who is Trust for?

Rebuilding trust is so difficult. But we sometimes make it more difficult, in fact even take steps backwards, when we forget who trustbuilding is for. Men will often say to their wives, “I just want you to trust me again” or “I hope one day you can trust me” but the essence of what they are saying is unfortunately self-centered. What they are really saying is, “I hope one day you’ll be less angry so I don’t have to deal with it” or “I hope one day we don’t have to talk about this anymore so I don’t have to feel guilt and shame”.

Too often we forget that our work in the aftermath of betrayal is to restore dignity to our spouses. One facet of that is restoring trust, which translates to a sense of security and feeling protected. When we become myopic and selfish we begin building trust for our own convenience and to lighten our own burden. What our wives need is to see us bear the burden with courage and to build trust for their sake.

Granted, it is understandable and isn’t wrong to want your wife to be less hurt, angry and beyond the conversation about the past. But, in the meantime, you pave the path for her to get there by sacrificing your own comfort and convenience. So as you pursue trust building, remember to ask who you are building trust for.