In a recent WeDared Challenge email there was a powerful section describing lies and how Satan would have us believe there is no hope. Specifically the lie was: learning to bounce and starve your eyes is impossible so why try.
What a ridiculous statement! But it was one I believed in my addiction. In an effort to explain my inability (and on some level, my unwillingness) to change, and to justify my sinful behavior, I started to believe that it is impossible to live with integrity. I began to resign to the fact that I am just lustful and that being able to live without staring, oogling, objectifying, etc. was something God apparently had reserved for better Christians than me.
The truth is, God is still in the business of changing hearts and habits. Just because you’ve lived a certain way for a long time doesn’t mean you are bound to that lifestyle from here on out. You are not the sum total of your bad behaviors. Your mistakes from the past do not have permission to define your future.
Three things have helped me, thank the Lord, change that lustful behavior. Maybe they can help you?
- Having a mantra. Seriously, every time I’m tempted to look lustfully I say to myself (and sometimes out loud), “there’s nothing I need, guaranteed”. You’d be surprised how awkwardly someone looks at you after you blurt out this phrase – especially someone you might lust after! This little saying reminds me that God is the ultimate meeter of my needs. Not some woman. Not even my wife.
- Or if you’re single, perhaps AccountabilityCam or GodCam. The idea is that if Shelley could watch a TV screen that showed my every move, she could hear everything I say, and a ticker tape at the bottom showed my every thought, she would be honored by it. I want to live in a way that, even if I am in a struggle, she would be honored by the way I fight it.
- To remember that anyone I might want to lust after is a walking story. That woman, in that moment, is living with the culmination of the things she’s done and the things done to her. She is a hurting human, with a need for Jesus just like me. To lust after her is to take advantage of her; something Jesus was pretty adamantly against.
These help me, but I’m curious to hear what helps you. Is there something you do to help change lustful looking?
And by the way, if you haven’t seen the WeDared Challenge yet you should check it out – www.wedared.com