After posting the video about Grieving and Hitting the Wake of our addictions, a few questions popped up. I wanted to answer those in a quick post.
Q– why is the propeller red?
A – because I accidentally hit a button on the screen-capture software and rather than worry about it I just rolled with it.
Q – what do you mean by “don’t let off the gas”? What does that look like tactically?
A – If you’ve attended the Every Mans Battle workshop it means working your battle plan. That especially includes the daily activities, but the monthly and weekly as well are important. You are literally in the process of rewiring your brain for recovery and healthy living. That takes intentionality, just like wiring it up for dysfunction took intentionality.
If you haven’t attended the workshop, then it means developing a plan. What are the key things you know you need to do, everyday, to start creating healthy habits? How do you need to engage God everyday to deepen your relationship and cultivate your sensitivity to the Spirit? Who should you meet with every week and what should you talk about that will lead to creating a culture of honesty?
Here are three things I urge you to make a part of your daily recovery rituals:
1 – recommitment prayer – come up with a simply prayer that will help you align your heart with God, invite Him into your day, and remind you what trajectory you’re on.
2 – connection – talk with an accountability connection everyday. Talk. Not just text. Not email. Not smoke-signal. Not Morse Code. Not Navajo Code. Actually have a conversation with them about where your heart and mind are, and how you’ve experienced any temptation. This may be the most difficult thing in the entire plan.
3 – read recovery literature – read things that are going to help you understand yourself, God and others better. No, the Bible doesn’t count as recovery literature. This is in addition to being the word. There are a TON of great books out there. Have something on hand to pick up and read even a page every day.
Q – Why would I grieve losing something that has been so hurtful and damaging?
A – our addictions/mistresses/compulsions are, in a sense, like a really bad “good-ole-friend”. They offered us comfort, nurturing, escape, excitement, adventure, peace, thrill, acceptance and so on; we’ll miss that. Unhealthy and dysfunctional as it may be, we’ll miss it. Further, all those things we found in unhealthy ways are things that God (I believe) wants to offer us. Problem is, it won’t happen overnight, and those things aren’t shipped next-day. It’s going to take a while to cultivate the relationships with God and others where those things will be found. In the meantime, that old friend can look appealing again.
If you have other questions please post them in the comments. I’ll do my best to answer them!