Have you ever listened to men introduce themselves to each other?
‘Hi, I’m Jack.’
‘Good to meet you, Jack. I’m Ken.’
‘What do you do, Ken?’
‘I’m Senior Manager at Wilson’s Hardware in town. And you, Jack?’
‘I’m Chief Engineer with Allied Electronics.’
One of the primary myths of masculinity is that a man’s identity is based upon what he does and accomplishes, principally in his job or career. That’s why men meeting each other share names and professional titles in the same breath! That’s also why men are despondent, sometimes even suicidal, when their businesses fail, or when they don’t get the promotion they desired.
Our culture has trained men to view their accomplishments, especially in the realm of employment, as a credential for manhood. Many of us think that if we fail at what we do, we’ve failed at being a man.
The epitome of the ‘you-are-what-you-do’ syndrome among today’s men is the workaholic. Workaholics embody this masculine myth. But in neglecting loved ones and denying their own personhood, they become less than real men.
In reality, a man’s identity is based on who he is apart from what he does. That is, who he is as defined by his relationship to Jesus Christ’a relationship that can only begin and flourish when received by faith, not achieved by works. In Christ, men, we’re significant and valued, even when our doings don’t turn out as hoped and planned.