Relating to Competent Women

Steve Arterburn

There’s something built in to us men that wants to say, ‘I know the way!’ And I’m not just talking about driving directions. I’m talking about the way through life. So, when a man encounters a woman who seems to know the way all by herself’if she’s successful and ultra-competent’it literally can scare him. It can tempt him to pull back and say, ‘Whoa’who, or what, is this?’ When in the presence of a woman who is already successful in life, a man can be tempted to feel like he has no place, like he’s simply not needed. Have you ever felt like that?

If you meet, live, or work with a woman who doesn’t seem to need your strength, protection, or provision, you can be tempted to feel useless. Where do these feelings come from? Man was created to live in a perfect world, to know the way through life and to provide strength for the woman that was his co-partner in life. In addition, there would be things the woman was created to contribute to the relationship. Together, they would complement one another. They would both be successful without a trace of intimidation.

But we don’t live in a perfect world. Yet we men still ‘feel’ those hardwired preferences and inclinations. The challenge then, men, is to learn to manage yourself appropriately in an imperfect world. Guard feelings of intimidation. Join forces with the successful women in your life. You’ll be better together!

Savior And Lord

Steve Arterburn

 

 

Trusting in Jesus Christ as your Savior makes you a Christian. It’s your access to God and your entrance into the Christian life. But it’s no place to stop. When Jesus Christ becomes your Savior, He also becomes your Lord.

 

What’s the difference? Trusting Christ as Savior means you understand that you’re a sinner and deserve death as a result. It means accepting that Jesus made the unique and ultimate sacrifice by dying on the cross to take away your sins.

 

Receiving Christ as Lord means you surrender your will, your desires, your plans, and possessions’everything you have’to Him. He gets all of you to do with as He sees fit. It means you hold nothing back from Him. You don’t give Him part of you and horde the rest to do with as you choose.

 

It means you surrender your life to the One who purchased it with His own blood’and in so doing, receive a new life in Christ. True surrender means admitting you can’t handle life without God. You stop pretending to be God, get off the throne of your life, and let God assume His rightful place there. In short, it means joyful obedience. You come to God on His terms, accepting that He is God and that He is likely to use you in ways you never dreamed; but trusting that because He is loving and wise, whatever He wants to do with you will be ultimately for good.

The Importance of Asking

Steve Arterburn

Every married man is joined to a person more complex than a NASA space shuttle. Besides the fact that the human brain is infinitely more complex than anything else known to man, it’s also had several decades of outside influences by the time a woman marries.

Think of all the things that could’ve influenced your wife in her developmental years: praise and criticism, wealth and poverty, health and sickness, a large or a small family, school experiences, sexual experiences, intelligence, abuse, self-image, male and female role models, models of marriage. The list goes on and on.

Every woman’s life map is different. As a result, no two women are alike. Wouldn’t it be nice if husbands and wives, on their wedding day, in addition to exchanging rings and vows, could hand each other a book titled My Life So Far? And in it would be a closing chapter entitled ‘How to Meet My Needs.’

But this doesn’t happen. So what can you do? How can you begin by better learning your wife’s needs? The best place to start is simply by asking.

If you have a track record of insensitivity, you’ll need to start this process with an apology and a sincere request for connection. Tell your wife you want to know her and begin asking questions’about herself, her hopes, desires, dreams, and fears. Her world may just open up to you, if you’d only ask for entrance.