Being God’s Man is Worth the Risk!

Excerpted from Every Man Ministries by Kenny Luck

During the past several years, I have witnessed men commit to becoming God’s man through Every Man Ministries. I’ve found that it’s not about asking guys to do more; it’s about asking them to be more. It’s not about asking them to pursue a plan or respond to a cool idea or even to a dare. It’s about convincing guys, deep down, that being God’s man is worth the risk. Why is that?

Doing more puts a man in control.
Being more puts God in control.


Doing more
is a safe style for men.
Being more is risky.

Doing more implies there’s an end to it.
Being more is a process ‘ fluid and unpredictable.


Doing more
lets a man pick the changes he needs to make.
Being more allows God to reveal the changes a man needs to make.


Doing more
requires trying harder.
Being more relies on training humbly.


Doing more
engenders spiritual pride.
Being more produces humility through surrender.


Doing more
is about correcting behavior patterns.
Being more is about connecting with God’s character.


Doing more
attaches to the public persona.
Being more reaches the private self ‘ the man God wants to reach.

The men’s movement of the last fifteen years has been challenging men to love more, say more, pray more, read the Bible more, discipline themselves more, love their wives more, and serve their kids more. Men have wanted all those things, but the majority of them are failing over the long haul. The men’s movement has asked men to do what their hearts and characters cannot deliver.

So here’s the bottom line.
Author Dallas Willard got it right: What’s needed is a renovation of the heart before a renovation of lifestyle.

I trust you will hang in there with me as we talk in the next few months about how it is we can BE God’s man and how it is that we ‘bog down spiritually’ when our offense should be in full attack mode for Him.

For more help on this subject see Being God’s Man.

Bringing It Out of The Dark

Joe Dallas

Addictive sexual behavior is no joke. It includes lust and poor self-control, of course, but it is much more than that. It is a repetitive, constant form of sexual activity that a person feels compelled’not just tempted’to indulge in. Usually this behavior is acted out in the secret use of pornography, prostitutes, anonymous sexual encounters or adult bookstores. It’s bondage of the worst kind because there’s so much shame and remorse attached to it, making it terribly secretive and usually dangerous. It leads to isolation, broken marriages, and untold humiliation. And if you’ve been hooked into it, you know by now that willpower alone won’t stop it. The addict makes countless attempts to stop in his own strength; countless times, he fails spectacularly. It’s bondage of the worst kind because there’s so much shame and remorse attached to it, making it terribly secretive and usually dangerous. It leads to isolation, broken marriages, and untold humiliation. And if you’ve been hooked into it, you know by now that willpower alone won’t stop it. The addict makes countless attempts to stop in his own strength; countless times, he fails spectacularly.

  Addictive sexual behavior is no JOKE and willpower alone won’t STOP it!

That’s partially because the problem thrives in the dark. Sexually addictive behavior is highly secretive. When you are caught up in it, you’re not prone to discuss it with anyone, so friends and family members seldom know what you’re going through. It’s a double life of sorts, involving a public image of normality versus a long-held secret. Usually the man discovers his ‘drug’ (pornography, masturbation, etc.) relatively early in life, becomes dependent on it, and incorporates it into his behavioral makeup. If that’s true of you, you’re carrying quite a burden. You haven’t felt good about your behavior or yourself, but have had no idea how to change. What you do know how to do is hide, and at that I’ll bet you’re a pro. The years of secret-keeping, excuses for prolonged absences from job and family while you’re having sex, and lying to cover your tracks have taught you to conceal your actions and feelings. Besides the destructiveness of your actions, then, you suffered from an unwillingness to let anyone in. When you develop a private world centered around your addiction, it’s the privacy that’s keeping it intact. Disrupt the privacy of your world, then, and you weaken both it and the addiction it protects. You’ll be less inclined to repeat the behavior you’ve given up if you know someone else is involved in your struggle with you.


The PRIVATE world centered around your addiction is what keeps it intact.

A trained Christian professional with experience treating addictions will be valuable to you. As always, you should get a referral from your pastor or a trusted friend if possible. But do find qualified help. With it, you can understand the roots of your addiction and build up the defenses against destructive actions that have been torn down over the years. You also should get into a support group’a Christ-centered one’that’s geared toward this problem. This provides you with a legitimate emotional outlet for the conflicting feelings you’ll experience while you withdraw from your addition. And finally, get some accountability. To be accountable to someone means to let him in on your struggle and to keep him up on your progress. It’s a giving over of your right to privacy to at least one person who has your permission to question you about your day-to-day activities and encourage you when you struggle.


INTEGRITY cannot be maintained apart from ACCOUNTABILITY!

You may balk at this ‘ I certainly did when I was first told that I’d never maintain my integrity unless I got some accountability. But don’t kid yourself’your own history by now has taught you that can’t deal with sexually compulsive behavior by yourself. If you could have, you would have.

Also See:
<a title="Every Man’s Battle Resources” href=”https://secure2.convio.net/nlm/site/Ecommerce/?store_id=1201&FOLDER=0&NAME=every%20man%27s%20battle”>Every Man’s Battle Resources
<a title="Every Man’s Battle Workshop” href=”http://www.everymansbattle.com”>Every Man’s Battle Workshop

Shame On Me

shame

“Wherefore I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes.” – Job 42:6

In January of 1984, I had my crises of truth. I was a Christian who had back-slidden into destructive sexual behaviors, and the conflict between my sexual and spiritual desires reached its peak. That was the beginning of my recovery and oddly enough, the darkest time of my life. All my porn had to go, of course. I had my cable service turned off, canceled my subscriptions to erotic publications and relocated to another city.

Only then did it hit me that I’d ruined everything good I had been given. By indulging in my sins, I had abandoned a fruitful ministry, a loving family, great potential – all wasted in a public, shameful way. The more I thought about it, the more I sank into a bottomless disgust with myself. I began sleeping through the days, then waking up horrified at myself, remembering what I’d done, each time seeing it in a worse light. I would cry, thrashing around in my bed in fits of weeping and moaning.

The poet Robert Bly wrote: ‘Where a man’s wound is, there he finds his genius.’

As part of my ‘penance’, I called all my old friends to apologize and to let them know that I had repented.  I could only find a few, but one of them permanently interrupted the ‘I Hate Joe’ cycle I had gotten myself into. When I got him on the phone and told him what was happening with me, the dam burst and I poured out my guilt, the miserable state I was in, and my fear that there was no future for me.  ‘Well, Joe’, he said, ‘if banging your head into the wall is going to build up the Body of Christ, please keep doing it. But if it won’t, don’t you think all this energy you’re putting into self-pity could be put into doing something useful with what’s left of your life?’ That shut me up. ‘And who knows’ he continued ‘but someday, after you get through all this, you might have learned something worth passing on?’

I had been drowning in shame, beating myself up but accomplishing nothing worthwhile in the process. That night I decided to find something more useful to do with my pain. Oddly enough, it was that very pain which led me into my own counseling, and then into a desire to become a trained counselor, and finally into the opportunity to work with hundreds of other men who’d made mistakes so similar to my own.

Be sorry for your sin, by all means. But don’t wallow in shame. Instead, take the time to prayerfully consider how God can convert your worst failures into useful opportunities. You just might be amazed at the genius lurking behind the wound.

For more information on Every Man’s Battle, please call 1800-NEW-LIFE (639-5433)