Every Man’s Battle Weekend Reviews

Every Man’s Battle Weekend Review
By Justin

At the beginning of the weekend I felt nervous and apprehensive. I was excited to learn the tools that would solve my problem.

What I learned was that the perfect tool was inside me all along – Jesus Christ. I just needed to use it to reach into the root cause of my sexual sin. When I left on Sunday, I can happily say that I felt closer to God than I have in a very long time. I have made true friends and feel more in love with my wife. I am ready to make this work and would recommend this weekend to anyone.

Every Man’s Battle Weekend Review
By David

My sexual sin had grown and progressed so such a degree that it destroyed my career and threatened to destroy my marriage. My thoughts and even my prayers were muddled and clouded by the enemy so much so that I couldn’t even recognize the lies that were guiding my life.

God used men who knew Christ and who had been through similar struggles to show me the hope of God’s redemptive plan for me.

After five years of “clean and sober” time from drugs and alcohol I am now coming to terms with how my lack of sexual integrity had hijacked my relationship with God and others. Struggling alone I could not stand and find victory in my walk.

I am no longer alone! This weekend Intensive restored my awareness of God’s amazing grace. It has given me a restored faith that God has much much more planned for my life than I could ever find on my own.

With the community of others helping me, I am ready now to let go of my old pursuits which were cheap substitutes for God.

I have made a new goal – to be the man God created me to be…a lover of God and other people with all my heart, all my soul and all my strength. An intimate walk with God along side the allies I have found at Every Man’s Battle is now my focus.

Thank you to Jason -the main speaker- you gave me courage because I identified with so much of your personal story – thank you for genuinely caring and seeking to be used by God.

Every Man’s Battle Weekend Review
By Warren

The Every Man’s Battle Weekend Workshop is an awesome and life changing experience.

The ability to be made so comfortable with the establishment of the “No Shame Zone” makes for a very helpful and safe environment in which I was more than willing to share. To be instructed by people who had overcome the same issues that I am currently dealing with is an added plus.

The closeness of the bond that I felt within the breakout sections aided in helping me to share. Just knowing that everyone was dealing with some variation of the same issue helped me to not feel abnormal or like some sort of cast off.

God used this conference and these leaders to help me see my individual problem and to plot out the necessary course of action – though hard it will be. He also used this conference to break me and do something I have not done since 1979 and that was cry. The overwhelming hurt I felt when I was made to realize what I have put my wife through – and the awesome symbolism displayed as we placed the blood of Jesus (paint) over our placecards to cover our sins, hurts and pains – took me over the top. I praise God for these men and the work they put into this, to help us all.

My hope and prayers are not just for me but for each and every one of my brothers in Christ and for those who have not accepted Him as their savior. May we have the victory – though the power of Jesus – and may we continue to follow it through the years to come.

For more information call 1-800-639-5433 or visit http://everymansbattle.com

The Male Wound of Pride

Sam Fraser

C.S. Lewis wrote an article a half-century ago about men and pride. Essentially his point is that the temptation for men is to be too proud to ask for help. Christian or secular it’s a guy thing! Universally, it is the hardest word to speak out loud. Help! It has long been a part of our cultural standard to not ask for help. It is hard enough to ask for directions let alone something so much more intimate. Asking for help is being needy. We receive the message over and over that to be needy is shameful. Admitting that we are not self-sufficient is unspeakable. We learned a long time ago on the playground that expressing certain feelings was not cool. Coupled with no validating adult males growing up to help us understand ourselves, we end up feeling confused and insecure inside. But on the outside we learn to not let it show. Much of our most tender parts gets shut down or buried. We end up loners, isolated hiding behind a false mask called pride.

We hide behind pride when we pretend we don’t need help even when we do. Many of us have male friendships but not so close that we can talk openly about our struggle with sexual integrity.

Learning how to ask for help for sexual integrity is a very humbling experience.

I remember the first time I reached out by going to a 12-step meeting. In those days, as a Christian, there were few avenues available and the church had no clue how to help. I literally stood with my hand on the door fighting with shame to step inside. So much of me wanted to turn and run. My pride won out and I did not go through that door. It was too humiliating to admit I was like all those others guys who couldn’t make it on their own. It was another 12 years until the pain outweighed the fear and I got help. And even then, reaching out was a product of being caught and having my world come crashing down all around me.

One of the defining characteristics of each man that comes to an Every Man’s Battle workshop is trying to fight the battle by himself. Not asking for help, attempting to fight this battle alone, isolated. As men, we experience a lot of guilt and shame because we can’t stop playing with ourselves. I could rationalize it when I was young but not as an adult. And as a Godly man, we feel all the more that we should be able to handle our sex drive. We think that since no other guys are talking about it we must be the only one with the problem. Whoops, got to hide that one!

Since we are not talking about it and for one reason or another seem unable to experience any sustained victory on our own, we end up feeling defeated. Our pride keeps us from confessing this failure in an important area of our Christian walk. We fake that every thing is okay or we avoid others by keeping everyone at a distance to hide the secret.

Pride keeps us from getting the help we need. Our wound won’t let us ask for help.

One of the main features when men begin to succeed is that they get connected to other men. Essentially, admitting the need for help. It takes all kinds of strength and courage to admit the need for help.

The Bible refers to reaching out for help and identifies as humility. Mmmm, humility! When I am weak, then I am strong (2 Cor. 12:10 ). For many of us God has been very patient in this important area and He will continue to be so. What Christ has done on the cross will always make it true. This issue has been the downfall for many and will continue to defeat us as long as we remain in male pride. It will continue to take us down unless we are humble enough to ask for help and connect with other men for support and encouragement. It is one of the defining moments for every man who attends EMB. It takes a strong man, not a weak one, to admit that. Pride or humility? Your choice.

If you can’t attend EMB, get connected locally. Pray and God will lead you.
Call 1-800 New Life and get a referral. There are options and help is available.
Get H-E-L-P!

Why Hasn’t God Delivered Me From This Sexual Struggle?

Sam Fraser

The story line for myself and many Christian men wanting to achieve sexual integrity often feels like an endless pattern of short-term successes and long-term failure. Exasperated, I turned to God crying out, ‘remove this thorn!’ But He didn’t. Hey God, why not? If God is good, and He is; if God is love, and He is; then what’s up with that? There must be another message that God is giving me and it’s not sinking in. Why have I not been delivered from this? The thorn remains.

Paul reports his experience of praying for God to remove a sin pattern that he was unable to master, his personal thorn in 2 Corinthians chapter 12. There is much speculation of what Paul’s thorn actually was but nobody knows for certain. However, I definitely know what mine has been. Perhaps you do as well.

Paul prayed three times to have this ‘thorn’ removed. The Lord’s answer: Uh-uh, nada, zilch, negatory, no deal. God did not deliver Paul from his personal thorn either. Sometimes God is like that; He doesn’t always do the straightforward thing. Paul prayed and did not get the obvious and expected solution. God was up to something else. God was teaching Paul a deeper spiritual truth. For some things, God wants us to rely on Him much more than we normally would.

The answer was elucidated for Paul when he writes, ‘When we are weak, then we are strong’. (2 Cor. 12:10)’.

So, I am spiritually strong when I can confess that my puny human strength fails me. I can identify with that. I cannot maintain my sexual integrity in my own strength, in my own power, through my efforts. God has to supply the strength. The flesh nature is not strong enough and it never will be. But, rather, it is a confession that sets me free from continuing in my futile attempts. It also disrupts the powerlessness and shame of failure that lead to despair. The despair sets in motion a cycle that leads to more acting out.

By confessing that I don’t have what it takes I find healing. I can now agree with Paul that the secret of my strength will be in a willing confession that I don’t have what it takes. Nor will I ever. This has been very restorative. Additionally, knowing that each time I cry out for His strength and relying on Him will make me spiritually stronger. Hallelujah! Now I get it’ duh!

Still, asking for help (cf., my article in the archives on the H-bomb) takes a lot of courage and strength, and/or desperation. Not only the first time, but every time. Eveeerrrry time! Even now, I have to rely on His strength and I have to ask for it. It has taken such a long, long time to follow through and maintain this strategy. After millions of failures (it seemed like that many) I felt like turning away from God and giving up hope because of the depth of my despair. I was humiliated and hated myself for not being able to overcome my acting out.

As a Christian I thought that I should be able to overcome this sin sooner. But the spiritual truth that God taught Paul is that I do not have it within me’ at all. Ever. It is a theological fact. Period.

Initially, I was taught that I needed a Savior to overcome my sinful nature. But, somewhere along the way, I got it in my head that now that I have been a Christian for a while I should somehow be able to achieve moral victories through my own efforts. The misconception was that by this stage of my Christian walk I should have accumulated enough of ‘whatever’ to achieve moral victory. Failure translated into the belief that there was something lacking in me. There was, what has always been there, my human nature. I cannot save me from myself. Knowledge is one thing. Understanding is another. Until the knowledge in my head drops into the heart of my understanding it is like a banging gong and a clanking cymbal.

I am strong only when I confess I am weak. To take it a step further in this weak-strong principle, we must rely on others. It is another aspect of accepting my weakness. But’ that is an article for another day. Blessings.

For more help on this subject see Every Man’s Battle.