Doing Good To Your Wife

Steve Arterburn

What’s it mean to do good by your wife? And how might you, as a husband, go about doing it? You might come up with things like laying a new bathroom floor, shoveling the car out after a snow storm, or taking out the garbage on time. These are fine and good, and we like them because they keep us in our comfort zone.

 

But what about providing your wife with spiritual leadership and stability? Now that’s doing her good’in fact, it’s the best you could do for her. Yet it’s also a scary proposition for many husbands. You might not even know where to start.

 

Here are five suggestions to set the spiritual thermostat in your house:

 

1)      Develop a knowledge of God’s word. This is a must. 

2)      As you learn about God, begin to submit yourself to Him more and more.

3)      Be consistent in your prayer and devotional life. Your consistency will instill your wife’s confidence in you.

4)      Go to church and worship with your wife. Your wife will benefit greatly from watching you worship and worshipping with you.

5)      Be quick to forgive and to seek her forgiveness when you need it. Your honesty and humility will speak volumes to her.

 

Men, you will bless your wife by leading her. If you do it tenderly and wisely, and by example, she’ll follow.

God On Divorce

Steve Arterburn

There are two ways to give a command. You can take a positive approach, such as, ‘Follow God!’ Or you can spell out things to avoid, like, ‘Flee the devil.’

 

In Malachi chapter two, God uses both approaches to emphasize the sacredness of marriage. First, in verse 15, it’s stated positively: ‘Guard yourself; remain loyal to the wife of your youth.’ Then, in the very next verse, the same message is put quite another way: ”For I hate divorce!’ says the Lord, the God of Israel.’

 

Why is God so zealous about marriage? One reason among many is that God knows real contentment comes from the deep union of two souls, the kind found only within the security of an exclusive, lifelong commitment between a man and a woman. That’s the way He designed us.

 

Unfortunately, most of us’including me’have seen, or even been in, marriages with little evidence of such oneness. Today, divorce is increasingly common among both Christians and non-Christians alike. But just because it’s common doesn’t mean it’s okay. I speak from experience when I say divorce breaks God’s heart.

 

Yes, God can forgive divorce. If He could repeatedly absolve the nation of Israel for its many sins over the centuries, He too can forgive a husband and wife who’ve wrecked their marriage.

 

But guys, make no mistake: God would much rather see your commitments kept, commitments made before God and witnesses at your marriage ceremony. He’d like to see your loyalty honored, and the spiritual oneness between you and your wife kept sacred. Strive for it! 

Where Is Your Heart?

Steve Arterburn

Is your marriage a delight to you? How does it compare with, say, your career or your favorite hobby when it comes to charging your engines? These aren’t things many men think about often, are they? And even when we do, it’s tough to get past our own defense mechanisms in order to get accurate answers.

This being the case, I’ve got a more practical and concrete way for you to answer these questions. Over the next several days, keep your eye out for these particular things as they show up in your daily life:

        Does your wife’s face brighten when you enter the room?

        Do you greet and part with a kiss, or some other form of affection?

        Does she respond positively to your embrace?

        Does talking happen often and proceed easily between the two of you?

        When she’s sad, or when she’s been hurt, is it you that she seeks?

        Do you think about her when she’s not around? If so, what kind of thoughts?

Guys, the observations you make with regard to these questions will go a long way in helping you discern where your heart is at with your wife. If you find a passion for oneness and a passion for serving her, that’s fantastic! Keep up the good work.

However, if you find that the passion isn’t there, don’t blow it off. It’s not okay. You need to seek it, find it, and fan it into flame.