The Irresponsible Father

Stephen Arterburn

Many men today grew up in homes where the father was completely absent because of divorce. Many of these men judged their roles as husbands and fathers to be expendable in the pursuit of their careers and lifestyles. At some point their sons had to deal with the shocking reality that Daddy didn’t want to live with them anymore.

When fathers abandon their families, they plant seeds of discord in their sons that may unconsciously come to the surface when their sons marry. Boys usually perceive their fathers as the epitome of masculinity’even if the father has little time or concern for his sons. For this reason, sons often grow up to repeat their father’s behavior, thereby perpetuating the current crisis between fathers and sons.

In other families, fathers remained in the home physically but abandoned their sons emotionally. These men worked day and night, and played hard all weekend. Not only was the father-son relationship void of nurture, it left a negative impact on the boy, who was treated as an inconvenience or an interruption in his father’s life. Just at the time the boy needed a man to help him practice being a man, his father was off somewhere struggling with his own manhood.

Yet, God calls all men to be men. If your earthly dad was irresponsible, I encourage you to look to your heavenly Father. Read, pursue counseling, and seek friendships with good, Christian men. Irresponsible dads raise angry sons. Let’s not continue this pattern.

6 thoughts on “The Irresponsible Father

  1. It is very hurting to have a father who does not have a heart for you. An irresponsible father obviously reproduces other irresponsible fathers through his sons who get the feeling their wives can singly take care of children just like their mothers did.
    I would like to hear men comment on this issue more as it is becoming an epidemic globally. Men are simply not meeting the standards for mother nature in raising children for the next generation. Do you think this contributes to global warming? I mean increase in immoral sexual behavior, drug abuse and crime in general?

  2. It is very hurting to have a father who does not have a heart for you. An irresponsible father obviously reproduces other irresponsible fathers through his sons who get the feeling their wives can singly take care of children just like their mothers did.
    I would like to hear men comment on this issue more as it is becoming an epidemic globally. Men are simply not meeting the standards for mother nature in raising children for the next generation. Do you think this contributes to global warming? I mean increase in immoral sexual behavior, drug abuse and crime in general?

  3. It was hard growing up without a father figure. He was there, but hr was never there. Whether it was due to the conflicts between them two, he was living but it was as if he was dead. 35 years later I went to see him. He is now a broken man. His spirit is broken, his reality is broken, and I’m not even sure he is aware that I’m all that he’s have left. Growing up with him, but without him was hard. I now face a difficult task of becoming the man myself. He just doesn’t realize the responsibilities he has as a father. It takes more than just making foods, it takes the commitment to lead and to teach his son about the world. He is not a man of men. And it is hard for me to admit that. But I must learn everything on how to be a man, how to walk a straight line and not be a bad person, how to respond to bad people, bad friends, bad environments. I have to learn all of that myself. There was no cookie cutter.

  4. It was hard growing up without a father figure. He was there, but hr was never there. Whether it was due to the conflicts between them two, he was living but it was as if he was dead. 35 years later I went to see him. He is now a broken man. His spirit is broken, his reality is broken, and I’m not even sure he is aware that I’m all that he’s have left. Growing up with him, but without him was hard. I now face a difficult task of becoming the man myself. He just doesn’t realize the responsibilities he has as a father. It takes more than just making foods, it takes the commitment to lead and to teach his son about the world. He is not a man of men. And it is hard for me to admit that. But I must learn everything on how to be a man, how to walk a straight line and not be a bad person, how to respond to bad people, bad friends, bad environments. I have to learn all of that myself. There was no cookie cutter.

  5. I grew up without my father and I don’t think that his absence made me a bad person. I never wanted to imitate him and I never did. Same for my mother who is also a piece of work. I have been married almost 20 years and a very successful professional. Just because one ends up with crappy parents does not mean that one has to follow in their footsteps. It’s harder to think and act independently but sometimes when circumstances compel you to do so, it can be worthwhile.

  6. I grew up without my father and I don’t think that his absence made me a bad person. I never wanted to imitate him and I never did. Same for my mother who is also a piece of work. I have been married almost 20 years and a very successful professional. Just because one ends up with crappy parents does not mean that one has to follow in their footsteps. It’s harder to think and act independently but sometimes when circumstances compel you to do so, it can be worthwhile.

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