In a recent WeDared Challenge email there was a powerful section describing lies and how Satan would have us believe there is no hope. Specifically the lie was: learning to bounce and starve your eyes is impossible so why try.

What a ridiculous statement! But it was one I believed in my addiction. In an effort to explain my inability (and on some level, my unwillingness) to change, and to justify my sinful behavior, I started to believe that it is impossible to live with integrity. I began to resign to the fact that I am just lustful and that being able to live without staring, oogling, objectifying, etc. was something God apparently had reserved for better Christians than me.

Another lie.

The truth is, God is still in the business of changing hearts and habits. Just because you’ve lived a certain way for a long time doesn’t mean you are bound to that lifestyle from here on out. You are not the sum total of your bad behaviors. Your mistakes from the past do not have permission to define your future.

Three things have helped me, thank the Lord, change that lustful behavior. Maybe they can help you?

  • Having a mantra. Seriously, every time I’m tempted to look lustfully I say to myself (and sometimes out loud), “there’s nothing I need, guaranteed”. You’d be surprised how awkwardly someone looks at you after you blurt out this phrase – especially someone you might lust after! This little saying reminds me that God is the ultimate meeter of my needs. Not some woman. Not even my wife.
  • Or if you’re single, perhaps AccountabilityCam or GodCam. The idea is that if Shelley could watch a TV screen that showed my every move, she could hear everything I say, and a ticker tape at the bottom showed my every thought, she would be honored by it. I want to live in a way that, even if I am in a struggle, she would be honored by the way I fight it.
  • To remember that anyone I might want to lust after is a walking story. That woman, in that moment, is living with the culmination of the things she’s done and the things done to her. She is a hurting human, with a need for Jesus just like me. To lust after her is to take advantage of her; something Jesus was pretty adamantly against.

These help me, but I’m curious to hear what helps you. Is there something you do to help change lustful looking?

And by the way, if you haven’t seen the WeDared Challenge yet you should check it out –

4 thoughts on “WeDared

  1. It helps me to think about good things. Like working hard, making more money, and things like that. It also helps me to have specific goals to achieve.
    You can’t think about sex all the time, it just isn’t an efficient way to live. It takes a lot of work to be good at your job, and daydreaming about sex won’t help you be more competitive.
    You are supposed to be attracted to women, but you are also supposed to be attracted to food. Listening to audio Proverbs really describes how Solomon is trying to administer Jerusalem during his lifetime and he did not want people wasting time with adultery and stuff like that. He wanted them to work hard and enjoy what they earned.

  2. A battle plan of renewing the mind and staying in accountability with another brother is vital. God created men and women to find pleasure with one another. Our “sin nature” trips us up. Being able to be transparent and open about our struggle with lust is a significant step in keeping our eyes and mind in check. Mastering the weapons and strategies of God to conquer sexual sin we can walk in sexual integrity. There are millions of men suffering in silence in their struggle with sexual sin, hoping to find a solution to break the bondage in their lives. I am forever thankful for men like Steve Arterburn, Mike Cleveland, Ted Roberts and others who are providing support with books, videos, and conferences. Don’t isolate! Put on the armor of God (Ephesians 6:11-18).

  3. I send time most mornings in pray, bible reading, alone with God doing my best to draw closer to Him and receive His love for me. I read recovery material during that time ( devotions on deliverience etc.). Then I have a devotion with my wife most morings before I leave the house. I carry index card with scpriture on them recently the We Dare scripture (by the way have not recieved any devotion lately are they still coming out ). I try to talk to another brother regularly and stay accountable. When I miss it or fall I don’t stay in my mess, I repent ask for forgiveness, receive God’s love, forgiveness and grace and keep it moving.

  4. I have developed the habit of bouncing my eyes, then repeating to myself “my body is not my own, it was bought at a price!”. This is s quick reminder of who I am in relation with God and has the effect if immediately changing my focus and my thoughts.

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