Why Hasn’t God Delivered Me From This Sexual Struggle?

Sam Fraser

The story line for myself and many Christian men wanting to achieve sexual integrity often feels like an endless pattern of short-term successes and long-term failure. Exasperated, I turned to God crying out, ‘remove this thorn!’ But He didn’t. Hey God, why not? If God is good, and He is; if God is love, and He is; then what’s up with that? There must be another message that God is giving me and it’s not sinking in. Why have I not been delivered from this? The thorn remains.

Paul reports his experience of praying for God to remove a sin pattern that he was unable to master, his personal thorn in 2 Corinthians chapter 12. There is much speculation of what Paul’s thorn actually was but nobody knows for certain. However, I definitely know what mine has been. Perhaps you do as well.

Paul prayed three times to have this ‘thorn’ removed. The Lord’s answer: Uh-uh, nada, zilch, negatory, no deal. God did not deliver Paul from his personal thorn either. Sometimes God is like that; He doesn’t always do the straightforward thing. Paul prayed and did not get the obvious and expected solution. God was up to something else. God was teaching Paul a deeper spiritual truth. For some things, God wants us to rely on Him much more than we normally would.

The answer was elucidated for Paul when he writes, ‘When we are weak, then we are strong’. (2 Cor. 12:10)’.

So, I am spiritually strong when I can confess that my puny human strength fails me. I can identify with that. I cannot maintain my sexual integrity in my own strength, in my own power, through my efforts. God has to supply the strength. The flesh nature is not strong enough and it never will be. But, rather, it is a confession that sets me free from continuing in my futile attempts. It also disrupts the powerlessness and shame of failure that lead to despair. The despair sets in motion a cycle that leads to more acting out.

By confessing that I don’t have what it takes I find healing. I can now agree with Paul that the secret of my strength will be in a willing confession that I don’t have what it takes. Nor will I ever. This has been very restorative. Additionally, knowing that each time I cry out for His strength and relying on Him will make me spiritually stronger. Hallelujah! Now I get it’ duh!

Still, asking for help (cf., my article in the archives on the H-bomb) takes a lot of courage and strength, and/or desperation. Not only the first time, but every time. Eveeerrrry time! Even now, I have to rely on His strength and I have to ask for it. It has taken such a long, long time to follow through and maintain this strategy. After millions of failures (it seemed like that many) I felt like turning away from God and giving up hope because of the depth of my despair. I was humiliated and hated myself for not being able to overcome my acting out.

As a Christian I thought that I should be able to overcome this sin sooner. But the spiritual truth that God taught Paul is that I do not have it within me’ at all. Ever. It is a theological fact. Period.

Initially, I was taught that I needed a Savior to overcome my sinful nature. But, somewhere along the way, I got it in my head that now that I have been a Christian for a while I should somehow be able to achieve moral victories through my own efforts. The misconception was that by this stage of my Christian walk I should have accumulated enough of ‘whatever’ to achieve moral victory. Failure translated into the belief that there was something lacking in me. There was, what has always been there, my human nature. I cannot save me from myself. Knowledge is one thing. Understanding is another. Until the knowledge in my head drops into the heart of my understanding it is like a banging gong and a clanking cymbal.

I am strong only when I confess I am weak. To take it a step further in this weak-strong principle, we must rely on others. It is another aspect of accepting my weakness. But’ that is an article for another day. Blessings.

For more help on this subject see Every Man’s Battle.

19 thoughts on “Why Hasn’t God Delivered Me From This Sexual Struggle?

  1. I don’t believe that God wants to keep a sin in your life to improve your character or that Paul’s thorn in the flesh was a sin that he was struggling with. I believe he was struggling with an infirmity; some kind of physical affliction. We all struggle with sin, for sure, because we are all sinners but God hates sin because it hurts us. He surely wants to give us the power to overcome sin. As long as we live in our fallen nature of ours, we will always be a struggle with sin. God promises us that when we fall, confess our sin, he will forgive us, however. (1 John 1:9) That is our hope. If you keep confessing and asking forgiveness, one day you may commit that sin for the last time and you will have the victory over by the grace of God.

    Paul received so much revelation from God that it could have puffed him up; gone to his head. His affliction was a buffer to keep him humble; but I want to reiterate, his thorn in the flesh was not a sin, it was an affliction.

    • God hates sin because it is an abomination to Him. and because it sends people to hell. and it lets demons enter people to use them to make others who dont know the truth fall into hell as well. if you read proverbs, it will explain in many ways who a fool is. and the bible also says that God does not delight in a fool.

      works without faith is dead. so we need Jesus blood. faith without works is dead. so we need to take time to read the bible and do what it says as well.

      Jesus asked a sister of mine, who i know from GOD, is true and was not lying, she said JESUS came to her in a vision and asked “why did i die on the cross for you?” she said, to forgive our sins?” He said “yes, but why else?” she said, so we can overcome sin?” He told her that was right. i have had visions of me going to hell, even while i was crying and crying and crying thinking i could never stop sinning, so i never stopped.

      my brother had a rapture dream, He gets dreams from GOD, and even though i was a believer, he went in the rapture, and he looked down, and i was still on the ground. i did not go. why? because i was doing things wrong. with only ignorant excuses to back me up. just because i was sad and crying, it does not justify anything. without holiness, no one can see GOD. thats a quote from the bible.

  2. I don’t believe that God wants to keep a sin in your life to improve your character or that Paul’s thorn in the flesh was a sin that he was struggling with. I believe he was struggling with an infirmity; some kind of physical affliction. We all struggle with sin, for sure, because we are all sinners but God hates sin because it hurts us. He surely wants to give us the power to overcome sin. As long as we live in our fallen nature of ours, we will always be a struggle with sin. God promises us that when we fall, confess our sin, he will forgive us, however. (1 John 1:9) That is our hope. If you keep confessing and asking forgiveness, one day you may commit that sin for the last time and you will have the victory over by the grace of God.

    Paul received so much revelation from God that it could have puffed him up; gone to his head. His affliction was a buffer to keep him humble; but I want to reiterate, his thorn in the flesh was not a sin, it was an affliction.

    • God hates sin because it is an abomination to Him. and because it sends people to hell. and it lets demons enter people to use them to make others who dont know the truth fall into hell as well. if you read proverbs, it will explain in many ways who a fool is. and the bible also says that God does not delight in a fool.

      works without faith is dead. so we need Jesus blood. faith without works is dead. so we need to take time to read the bible and do what it says as well.

      Jesus asked a sister of mine, who i know from GOD, is true and was not lying, she said JESUS came to her in a vision and asked “why did i die on the cross for you?” she said, to forgive our sins?” He said “yes, but why else?” she said, so we can overcome sin?” He told her that was right. i have had visions of me going to hell, even while i was crying and crying and crying thinking i could never stop sinning, so i never stopped.

      my brother had a rapture dream, He gets dreams from GOD, and even though i was a believer, he went in the rapture, and he looked down, and i was still on the ground. i did not go. why? because i was doing things wrong. with only ignorant excuses to back me up. just because i was sad and crying, it does not justify anything. without holiness, no one can see GOD. thats a quote from the bible.

  3. I don’t believe that God wants to keep a sin in your life to improve your character or that Paul’s thorn in the flesh was a sin that he was struggling with, in that passage. I believe he was struggling with an infirmity; some kind of physical affliction. We all struggle with sin, for sure, because we are all sinners, but God hates sin because it hurts us. He surely wants to give us the power to overcome sin. As long as we live in this fallen nature of ours, we will always struggle with sin. God promises us, however, that when we do fall, if we confess our sin, he will forgive us. (1 John 1:9) That is our hope. That is His promise. If you keep confessing and asking forgiveness, one day you may commit that sin for the last time and have the victory over it by the grace of God.

    Paul received so much revelation from God that it could have puffed him up; gone to his head. His affliction was a buffer to keep him humble; but I want to reiterate, his thorn in the flesh was not a sin, it was an affliction.

    (edited and corrected comment)

    • hebrews chapter 10: 26 For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins,

      John 3:3 Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.

      1 John 5:18 We know that whosoever is born of God sinneth not; but he that is begotten of God keepeth himself, and that wicked one toucheth him not.

      1 corinthians 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

      we are saved by GRACE—through—faith. romans points out that we cannot be saved by works, we need faith. but if u move on to the next level, away from milk and into the meat, we cannot read only what makes us feel better. the bible doesnt contradict itself. there is one scripture that debunks all of the other scriptures some may use to explain once saved always saved, and makes them only mere opinions. every scripture in the bible means something, and its actual meaning, is truth. so this one scripture says “faith, without works, is dead.” not to mention there are plenty of other scriptures as well. like the ones above.

      im sure a lot like to quote “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus,….” yeah, but there is more in that same verse and the rest of it says: “…..who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

      how do you walk according to the Spirit?

      galatians 5:22 “but the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. Galatians 5 also says that the works of the flesh is contrary to the Spirit. and all the works of the flesh shown in Galatians ch5, every single one of them, is a work, a word that includes all sin the bible tells us not to do, has to do with the works of the flesh.

      so, it is narrow to find the path, and narrow to stay on the path. first, believe in Jesus, let Him work through you, and also obey Him, learn from mistakes, and from others mistakes so you dont do them, turn away from all sin you know you are doing wrong, continue to grow in the LORD JESUS, and He will guide you and teach you on other things to work on, take one step at a time, fast or slow depending on what and how God is working and how your getting it. once you are perfected in obedience and love, and you sinneth not, you are born again.

      all deadly sin, no excuse. we have to know asap so you can obey. we can be born again by not sinning deadly sins, and for fixing and making right wrongs when God reveals them. there is no excuse for sin, once it is made known to us, and deadly sin, no excuse. people have no excuse to not learn how to not go to hell. GOD always makes a way for a believer not to sin. if they sin anyways cause its too hard, then they havent searched enough. if u love GOD, dont commit sin. but the bible says, if you end up committing sin anyways, if you regret it humbly, and ask for forgiveness, and tell yourself your not going to do it again, then God will forgive you.

      even though i said “you” a lot or some, im saying it to whomever its meant for while reading it. whoever that may be.

      • i need to correct myself on something, there was a scripture i misquoted. it was 1 John 5:18. i typed God keepeth himself. the scripture actually says he keepeth himself. praise GOD forever amen!

  4. I don’t believe that God wants to keep a sin in your life to improve your character or that Paul’s thorn in the flesh was a sin that he was struggling with, in that passage. I believe he was struggling with an infirmity; some kind of physical affliction. We all struggle with sin, for sure, because we are all sinners, but God hates sin because it hurts us. He surely wants to give us the power to overcome sin. As long as we live in this fallen nature of ours, we will always struggle with sin. God promises us, however, that when we do fall, if we confess our sin, he will forgive us. (1 John 1:9) That is our hope. That is His promise. If you keep confessing and asking forgiveness, one day you may commit that sin for the last time and have the victory over it by the grace of God.

    Paul received so much revelation from God that it could have puffed him up; gone to his head. His affliction was a buffer to keep him humble; but I want to reiterate, his thorn in the flesh was not a sin, it was an affliction.

    (edited and corrected comment)

    • hebrews chapter 10: 26 For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins,

      John 3:3 Jesus answered and said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.

      1 John 5:18 We know that whosoever is born of God sinneth not; but he that is begotten of God keepeth himself, and that wicked one toucheth him not.

      1 corinthians 10:13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

      we are saved by GRACE—through—faith. romans points out that we cannot be saved by works, we need faith. but if u move on to the next level, away from milk and into the meat, we cannot read only what makes us feel better. the bible doesnt contradict itself. there is one scripture that debunks all of the other scriptures some may use to explain once saved always saved, and makes them only mere opinions. every scripture in the bible means something, and its actual meaning, is truth. so this one scripture says “faith, without works, is dead.” not to mention there are plenty of other scriptures as well. like the ones above.

      im sure a lot like to quote “There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus,….” yeah, but there is more in that same verse and the rest of it says: “…..who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.

      how do you walk according to the Spirit?

      galatians 5:22 “but the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. Galatians 5 also says that the works of the flesh is contrary to the Spirit. and all the works of the flesh shown in Galatians ch5, every single one of them, is a work, a word that includes all sin the bible tells us not to do, has to do with the works of the flesh.

      so, it is narrow to find the path, and narrow to stay on the path. first, believe in Jesus, let Him work through you, and also obey Him, learn from mistakes, and from others mistakes so you dont do them, turn away from all sin you know you are doing wrong, continue to grow in the LORD JESUS, and He will guide you and teach you on other things to work on, take one step at a time, fast or slow depending on what and how God is working and how your getting it. once you are perfected in obedience and love, and you sinneth not, you are born again.

      all deadly sin, no excuse. we have to know asap so you can obey. we can be born again by not sinning deadly sins, and for fixing and making right wrongs when God reveals them. there is no excuse for sin, once it is made known to us, and deadly sin, no excuse. people have no excuse to not learn how to not go to hell. GOD always makes a way for a believer not to sin. if they sin anyways cause its too hard, then they havent searched enough. if u love GOD, dont commit sin. but the bible says, if you end up committing sin anyways, if you regret it humbly, and ask for forgiveness, and tell yourself your not going to do it again, then God will forgive you.

      even though i said “you” a lot or some, im saying it to whomever its meant for while reading it. whoever that may be.

      • i need to correct myself on something, there was a scripture i misquoted. it was 1 John 5:18. i typed God keepeth himself. the scripture actually says he keepeth himself. praise GOD forever amen!

  5. Nonsense. It’s not a thorn in the flesh: it is the flesh and it is sin. Jesus came into this world to save us from our sins. Do not read Romans chapter 7 in isolation from chapter 6 and 8. If we walk in the Spirit we will not fulfill the deeds of the flesh. We must walk by faith – not sight. We fail because we fail to walk in the Spirit and promises of God by faith. Stop using God as an excuse for your lack of faith. Stop handing your body over to sin. Start believing the promises of God purchased for you with the blood of Christ. Stop reading and believing the opinions of men and start believing the the Word of God.

  6. Nonsense. It’s not a thorn in the flesh: it is the flesh and it is sin. Jesus came into this world to save us from our sins. Do not read Romans chapter 7 in isolation from chapter 6 and 8. If we walk in the Spirit we will not fulfill the deeds of the flesh. We must walk by faith – not sight. We fail because we fail to walk in the Spirit and promises of God by faith. Stop using God as an excuse for your lack of faith. Stop handing your body over to sin. Start believing the promises of God purchased for you with the blood of Christ. Stop reading and believing the opinions of men and start believing the the Word of God.

  7. point being, the power we have to overcome sin God has given us His power to overcome it already. here is how you get rid of sexual sin; desire God more than unholiness. desire eternal life more than hell. love GOD. read bible, pray, obey everything in the new testament, and the ten commandments.

    how do we do that? say the sinners prayer, and then act upon it to show God you mean it. because “feeling” like you mean it, and saying you mean it, but you dont do it, or find a way of escape from sin to act upon the prayer, then you do not mean it. love God more than sin.

    feeling like you have to commit a sexual sin, and sitting there for 15 minutes asking for help, and knowing your not supposed to do it, and that GOD would not be pleased, pouting and crying its too hard its too hard, and then giving in and doing it,, that is not loving GOD more than the sexual sin.

    the bible doesnt just tell us what is sin, it also tells us how to not sin. google it there is a scripture that says “when the thought comes, desire comes, when desire comes, then sin, and when there is sin, there comes death.”

    so dont think about what would make you give in. dont make excuses. dont look at stuff that could tempt you. dont talk about it, and stay way from you friends that commit it. if you are hurting, go on a walk, it will stop within less than 15 minutes, or less. if you truly love GOD, you would do anything to not do it. and if you do anything to not do it, then you will not do it.

    Jesus told me once, if you really want to do better, you would do better.

    so if you have no self control of thoughts, you will be tempted. and if you love God more than the sin, you will not do it. its that simple. there is always a way out for sin. having hatred in your heart due to depression from a secret past? pray about it, may or may not take time. but if it does take time, get ready for the purification, its rough sometimes, but you have to do trust in God and push through it.

    and besides, satan may put thoughts in your head at first, until you conquer the sin, and conquer the testing, but with sinful thoughts, do not feed them. if the enemy puts a thought in your head, push it away, deny it. do not ag it on. because if you do, thats also sin right there.

    watch TB Joshua on Emmanuel TV channel on youtube. and find out how to avoid sin. and what happens to people when they sin! hint : demons wait for someone to sin, once they do, they have free will to harm their finances, their jobs, their children, their emotions, their car, even their life can be ended.

    why does God allow young people to die?

    the bible says “those who are born of God sinneth not”

    those who are born of God, are protected from the enemy. thats another reason why God tells us what not to do and what to do. He loves us. died for us. if we sin, and do not regret it and change our ways by stop sinning and seeking Gods face instead of only His hands, then, the devil has openings in our life to harm us, and we could die. and dying in deadly sins….heaven will not be where we would go. the bible says so. GOD doesnt want us to go to hell. so He tells us in the bible how to make sure we dont go there.

    and sexual sin, is a deadly sin.

  8. point being, the power we have to overcome sin God has given us His power to overcome it already. here is how you get rid of sexual sin; desire God more than unholiness. desire eternal life more than hell. love GOD. read bible, pray, obey everything in the new testament, and the ten commandments.

    how do we do that? say the sinners prayer, and then act upon it to show God you mean it. because “feeling” like you mean it, and saying you mean it, but you dont do it, or find a way of escape from sin to act upon the prayer, then you do not mean it. love God more than sin.

    feeling like you have to commit a sexual sin, and sitting there for 15 minutes asking for help, and knowing your not supposed to do it, and that GOD would not be pleased, pouting and crying its too hard its too hard, and then giving in and doing it,, that is not loving GOD more than the sexual sin.

    the bible doesnt just tell us what is sin, it also tells us how to not sin. google it there is a scripture that says “when the thought comes, desire comes, when desire comes, then sin, and when there is sin, there comes death.”

    so dont think about what would make you give in. dont make excuses. dont look at stuff that could tempt you. dont talk about it, and stay way from you friends that commit it. if you are hurting, go on a walk, it will stop within less than 15 minutes, or less. if you truly love GOD, you would do anything to not do it. and if you do anything to not do it, then you will not do it.

    Jesus told me once, if you really want to do better, you would do better.

    so if you have no self control of thoughts, you will be tempted. and if you love God more than the sin, you will not do it. its that simple. there is always a way out for sin. having hatred in your heart due to depression from a secret past? pray about it, may or may not take time. but if it does take time, get ready for the purification, its rough sometimes, but you have to do trust in God and push through it.

    and besides, satan may put thoughts in your head at first, until you conquer the sin, and conquer the testing, but with sinful thoughts, do not feed them. if the enemy puts a thought in your head, push it away, deny it. do not ag it on. because if you do, thats also sin right there.

    watch TB Joshua on Emmanuel TV channel on youtube. and find out how to avoid sin. and what happens to people when they sin! hint : demons wait for someone to sin, once they do, they have free will to harm their finances, their jobs, their children, their emotions, their car, even their life can be ended.

    why does God allow young people to die?

    the bible says “those who are born of God sinneth not”

    those who are born of God, are protected from the enemy. thats another reason why God tells us what not to do and what to do. He loves us. died for us. if we sin, and do not regret it and change our ways by stop sinning and seeking Gods face instead of only His hands, then, the devil has openings in our life to harm us, and we could die. and dying in deadly sins….heaven will not be where we would go. the bible says so. GOD doesnt want us to go to hell. so He tells us in the bible how to make sure we dont go there.

    and sexual sin, is a deadly sin.

  9. I lust over men, I am an angry soul. I’ve had numerous unholy thoughts and I’ve been caught in addiction after addiction. I’ve dishonered my family and I even cursed out God before. I see my wrongs now and I’m sorry and I want to stop. I want to be holy, I don’t want to sin anymore. Sometimes when I start to walk in the spirit I feel like it’s too late and that I should give up. Even this morning I gave into pornography and I’m regretting it right now. I know my flesh doesn’t care but I want to stop. I was feeling tempted since last night. I’ve gotten rid of things that I thought trigger it but I still have this phone. Should I get rid of my phone? I use it for work but I know God will provide for me if I give this up right? Does God still want me to go to heaven? I willfully Sinned this morning and I feel so stupid for doing it. Will I ever not sin? Will I ever be perfect? Will I get to the point where I’m not tempted to sin willfully?

  10. I lust over men, I am an angry soul. I’ve had numerous unholy thoughts and I’ve been caught in addiction after addiction. I’ve dishonered my family and I even cursed out God before. I see my wrongs now and I’m sorry and I want to stop. I want to be holy, I don’t want to sin anymore. Sometimes when I start to walk in the spirit I feel like it’s too late and that I should give up. Even this morning I gave into pornography and I’m regretting it right now. I know my flesh doesn’t care but I want to stop. I was feeling tempted since last night. I’ve gotten rid of things that I thought trigger it but I still have this phone. Should I get rid of my phone? I use it for work but I know God will provide for me if I give this up right? Does God still want me to go to heaven? I willfully Sinned this morning and I feel so stupid for doing it. Will I ever not sin? Will I ever be perfect? Will I get to the point where I’m not tempted to sin willfully?

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