Love-Hate Relationships

As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.  Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.  Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. – Ephesians 4:1-3

Love-Hate Relationships

Almost every person has at least one—a person you love, but also deeply resent or hate.  It could be a parent, spouse, sibling, boss, a rebellious child, neighbor, friend or even God.

Living in a love-hate relationship isn’t easy.  It requires some very complicated and refined coping skills.  The problem, however, is that too many people go on, day after day, merely coping with the situation.  Either they’re unaware that they can do more than cope, or they are unwilling to do it.

Those resigned to merely cope with the situation are not happy people.  Whether they stay in the relationship or leave, they render themselves powerless to change. They lose faith in the power of God to change the situation.  They give up on prayer as a means to facilitate change.

But our challenge goes beyond prayer.  The beginning of a solution rests in your decisions—your decision to do something—to take action.  Set boundaries.  See a counselor.  Join a group.  Confront in love.

Remember, “no decision” is a decision.

– Steve Arterburn

The man who rolls up his sleeves seldom loses his shirt.Stephen Covey

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. – Martin Luther King Jr.



  1. Nancy S Schmidt January 6, 2014 at 7:11 am - Reply

    What do you do when your spouse does not want to be proactive about anything. We have been married for 28 years and I am really sad that I have to spend the rest of my life this way. We have four children which are all trying to persuade us to get help or get a divorce. My husband seems to just keep shoving it all under the rug. This is killing me inside. I am really trying to trust God with this. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I am sinking further into darkness and there is no way out of this unhealthy relationship. Help!!!

    • Dolores T. October 16, 2015 at 6:40 am - Reply

      I agree with Nancy, go to Celebrate Recover and get connected with a small group of women. Also, go to a Christian counselor. Try to get your husband to go to the New Life Marriage conference! They are excellent! Buy the tickets! You won’t regret it. My hubby and I did and we loved it.

      • Katherine October 16, 2015 at 7:17 am - Reply

        Amen to the Marriage Conference! Just start working on your own growth. Get yourself healthy and it will rub off!

  2. Katherine October 15, 2015 at 5:56 am - Reply

    Nancy, find yourself a support group of women. Get some good girlfriends, attend Celebrate Recovery, and go see War Room!!!!

  3. Stacie February 7, 2018 at 8:14 am - Reply

    I have a love hate relationship with my niece whom I adopted. It is very difficult. I have had Christian counseling about it but the counseling was brief and I don’t feel that there was any resolve. I have been realizing lately that I need more counseling about this.

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