Togetherness involves a great deal of activity. It means taking the effort to seek out God and others, rather than waiting for others to take the first step. It means going to the trouble of not wasting time in our relationships, as the days are evil and there’s only so much time to grow.
Therefore, we make the first move in deepening the content of what we are saying, moving from the events and circumstances of the day to the more vulnerable issues of need, hurt, badness and confession. People who take initiative bring their feelings to the safe individuals in their lives, not being content to wait for permission to get close. Taking initiative also may mean taking the step of confronting a wrongdoing, or problem in the relationship. Jesus taught us that no matter if it is our fault or another, we are to stop what we’re doing and go try to work things out (Matt. 5:23, 24; 18:15).
Many people are afraid to be close because of past hurts and transgressions. Sometimes they will wait for a perfectly safe environment and relationship to emerge before they attempt to love again. Sometimes they will judge others as not deserving of love. While it is a sad reality that our ability to trust can be deeply wounded, and that we all need repair in this area, the fact is that there isn’t a totally safe place around, as all have sinned. But there are good enough places and people. Love without risk is immature love. Growing love stretches itself and sometimes gets bruised in the process.We need to get out of our comfort zone, take a risk, and either grow from it or learn to pick better people the next time around.
Do you want to be in a loving relationship but fear getting hurt? We’d love to help. Please join us at one of our weekend workshops.