New Life Live: April 14, 2015

Topics: ParentingDivorceSexual AbuseAffairsIn-lawsAnxiety 
Hosts: Steve ArterburnDr. Dave Stoop

Caller Questions:

  1. Is it better for my 5yo son to live with a single parent or move away with his mom and her boyfriend? 
  2. Was I sexually abused growing up, or was it consensual since the boy was only one year older? 
  3. My wife is having an affair again; is it time to file for divorce? 
  4. Interview with Harmony Dust, an activist for women who worked in the sex industry. 
  5. Comment: I was like the girl yesterday who was hated by her future mother-in-law, but now we have a great relationship! 
  6. Do I have social anxiety and what can I do about it? 

Suggested Resources:
Preparing Your Son for Every Man’s Battle
Healing Is a Choice
The Emotionally Destructive Relationship
Forgiving Our Parents
Life Recovery Bible

Subscribe to the NEW LIFE LIVE Podcast via iTunes or streaming audio from Stitcher, the Smart Radio App.



  1. Kat M April 14, 2015 at 10:45 am - Reply

    Oh, please. Most women in the sex industy make the choice to be there.They are not all victims. Please take some personal responsibility. If everyone who is having a rough time chooses a lucrative but illegal and/or immoral means to make money, the world would be even worse than it is.

    • diane April 14, 2015 at 10:55 am - Reply

      That right sister!!! Spread your love and mercy, be the voice of your God.

    • Pat April 14, 2015 at 8:54 pm - Reply

      I wish this forum would let you edit your posts after they are posted. I was agreeing with Kat. I think it’s a lazy way out, to make lots of money, strip clubs, massage parlors, etc. When I was young I thought about doing it myself. I wasn’t abused, but looking for something that paid well. Although I was young, naïve, and did not know if I had any marketable skills, my self esteem would not have let me put up with doing anything degrading to myself.

  2. Kat M April 14, 2015 at 12:23 pm - Reply

    The real victims are the people who have to cross a prostitute laden parking lot to buy their kids an icee drink. Oh, add the taxpayers who pay for all the crime that is associated with prostitution. Mercy for those who are genuinely trafficked. The rest need to clean up their acts. Don’t give them an excuse by calling them victims. As with other addicts, that just enables them to continue their denial of truth.

    • alita April 14, 2015 at 1:48 pm - Reply

      To Kat M. – You really don’t know what you are talking about. One way or another, the participants are damaged before getting into the sex industry. I KNOW what I am talking about. No – not all traumatized and abused people enter the sex industry … I’m one who DIDN’T get into it, but I ALMOST did. And most of the people in that industry have traumatic and/or abusive histories. They do. It’s a fact. In order to resolve that trauma, it’s common for them to enter the industry. At first it gives an illusion of re-gaining control where control has been traumatically and devastatingly lost. If there are so many people in that industry who have responded in the same fashion to resolve their histories what would make you categorize ANY of them as “the rest who need to clean up their act” … Do you actually think you are better than these people ? You are human just like they are and if you have not gone the way THEY did you should thank God and have compassion on those who HAVE gone that way.

      How are YOU victimized by walking across a parking lot where prostitutes are ? And paying TAXES ??? Please !!! That is NOTHING compared to what these people go thru and have been through. And “calling them victims” does NOT “contribute to denial.” It gives them room to see the truth and shed the shame and guilt that they carry – and move forward into healing.

      • Deanna April 15, 2015 at 9:39 am - Reply

        I agree with Alita. I was not parented. When I left home, I was still very young and have difficulty of ALL sorts. I needed attention & acceptance, and boyfriends would give me that, as well as someone paying to watch me model lingerie, mud wrestle, and perform “classy” strip-o-grams.

        How twisted our society is: That they order those SOG’s for important parties in homes & restaurants & offices! I was given that attention & accolades from grandma-type ladies, former presidents, football coaches, and office staff. I was treated respectfully. I didn’t “prostitute”, but yet what I did IS a part of that whole SCAM ON WOMEN!! I didn’t realize how harmful it was to me and to our entire world!!! How could I? No one told me otherwise. Yes I thought I was in control .. how wrong I was at how I was being controlled by “what I was receiving”.

        I was 36 before someone invited me to church!!!! Instead of blaming these girls for doing the wrong thing that is hard on your families, REACH OUT TO THEM with the love of God. Remember Jesus’ prayer in Luke 23:34 Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. Not ALL may be victims, but ALL need Jesus.

    • Pat April 14, 2015 at 8:33 pm - Reply

      Agreed. It is like gambling. Looks like easy money for young girls who don’t have much education, self esteem, ambition, or confidence.

  3. Scott April 14, 2015 at 1:44 pm - Reply

    Gee ….Kat & Diane,

    If you would like to recover from your own hurts, which is probably why
    You wear your robes of judgement so prominently, try joining a vulnerability group so you can find healing for yourselves and then maybe you have some compassion to help these people like this heal. Become a volunteer in Celebrate Recovery…I sit with hurting people each week. It can change lives. Christ loved the woman caught in adultery,while recognizing her sin. How about you, it’s your choice.

    • alita April 14, 2015 at 1:54 pm - Reply

      I think Diane was being sarcastic .

  4. Mike April 15, 2015 at 6:32 am - Reply

    The sex industry is very polished. Men start grooming ideal candidates for the industry when they are around 12 and younger. They look for children in broken situations that they can manipulate into the business. It is an evil in our society that needs squashed. My prayer is that Jesus comes back soon and ends evil once and for all.

  5. ann April 15, 2015 at 7:36 am - Reply

    Dear sir, please move forward with the divorce, as the show suggested, your wife divorced you neon’s ago. Get on with your life, it’s not like you haven’t put forth some very good effort to show her that you love and care for her, your family, and your marriage. At some point in life we find out that some things just are not meant to be no matter how hard we try. My ex was doing all he could to make my life miserable even after we went our separate ways, even to the point of suing me, seriously. He just would not get on with his life. We were 2 miserable people living in a very violent and dangerous environment and he would not move or embrace that we were not get along, we are both good people but not for each other and he did not accept that truth, my point is; get on with your life she’s obviously gotten on with hers. May God bless you during this process. Please trust him to be with you all the way.

  6. Matt April 15, 2015 at 8:02 am - Reply

    This was one of the best shows, I have heard in a long time. Steve & Dave tackled some really difficult questions with grace and caring, while speaking the truth. I continue to be amazed by the hosts of this show.

  7. ann April 15, 2015 at 10:05 am - Reply

    Matt, so glad you are still enjoying the show(s), I know there was something about listening to “other people’s” problems…bless you. I will continue tuning in, maybe calling again, and definitely praying for all involved parties.

  8. Patti April 15, 2015 at 10:14 am - Reply

    What a great show. The compassion and wisdom shared was so elightening. Thank you. I especially appreciated that the callers were not rushed and could elaborate on their concerns.

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