New Life Live: April 28, 2015

Topics: ParentingMarriageSeparationDatingIntimacyAlcoholics 
Hosts: Steve ArterburnDr. Dave StoopDr. Jill Hubbard

Caller Questions:

  1. My wife and I do not agree on parenting styles; did I do the right thing by leaving? 
  2. Should I end a 2yr relationship with a guy who will not label us as a couple? 
  3. I am struggling with my wife not wanting sexual intimacy like I do. 
  4. How can I help my alcoholic friend who relapsed after 20yrs of sobriety? 

Suggested Resources:
7 Minute Marriage Solution
7 Minute Marriage Solution Devotional Bible
Is This The One
How We Love
Life Recovery Bible

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2018-01-26T06:20:26+00:00

3 Comments

  1. alita April 28, 2015 at 2:54 pm - Reply

    To the final caller – Jo –

    I related so strongly to your call. I am just like your friend. I was an alcoholic and heroin addict for years. I stopped drinking and using because I gave birth to a baby and I didn’t want her to have a bad life with a drunk addict for a mother. I couldn’t stop on my own, though. I went into a church where a prophet laid hands on me and prayed in tongues … And from that day forward I did not touch alcohol for almost 20 years. It was a supernatural deliverance. I didn’t have a recovery program. I did not know about AA or 12 steps or anything, so I didn’t know to work on myself and develop a new way of thinking. But I formed a relationship with Christ, became active in church with my new baby, went to school, got a master’s degree, got out of poverty and got into a stable life. Then my daughter left home, joined the army and got married. I had no one to take care of anymore. I began isolating which is typical of untreated alcoholism. I discovered that I had hepatitis C and started undergoing treatment for it with interferon A. I became extremely angry and depressed with that medication. I dropped out of life. All I did was work and come home and ache in my depression. To top it off, my daughter didn’t know how to get along with her husband and she would take out her frustrations on me. I felt like a total failure as a mother because she couldn’t get along with her husband. One day, I decided that I would have a drink. I thought I was cured of alcoholism, and I was feeling bad and wanted to feel better. That one little drink turned into another 10 year struggle with drunkenness. I found AA and am slowly accepting what it is I must do to heal and work the steps. There is so much hurt/shame from my past that I have not been aware of, and it is a lot of work to sort it out and heal. But I can tell you, that what has helped me to continue to walk in sobriety, in spite of my relapses, is people in the AA program and people in the church who have continued to show me, through their loving companionship and acceptance, the grace of God. They have prayed for/with me and shared scripture with me and just plain old LOVE – Gods love. They minister God’s love to me through the holy spirit. Their ministry and counseling and companionship sets me free from the shame and hurt and fear that I carry. Of COURSE drinking alcohol MUST stop, but that is not enough. To STAY sober, I need other people. They are patiently showing me God’s love that I have trouble receiving because I carry so much shame. I can’t tell you how important it is for people to continue to reach out to me, in spite of myself. I am so prone to get discouraged and isolate – and in isolation I can and HAVE made the deadly decision to drink. I feel so hard for your friend. She is in pain and despair and feels so hopeless. I will pray for her. Don’t give up. God doesn’t give up and he has ALL power. So don’t YOU give up, because God is behind your hopes and prayers for her. Continue to pray and reach out and get others to reach out to her. You may have to do an intervention with professional interventionists. I don’t know. But God bless you for your perseverance. Keeping telling her how much she is God’s beloved. She really, really IS His beloved – when she is in pain, he is not angry with her. His arms are outstretched to her. When she gets drunk, his arms are outstretched to her. He KNOWS her pain. He KNOWS. He knew even when he went to that cross that she would relapse, and he died for her anyway. He loves her and he sees the hurt child inside of her. Don’t you give up. God ALWAYS triumphs.

  2. ann April 29, 2015 at 6:37 am - Reply

    Wow, Alita thanks for sharing your story. I have not even listed to the program yet. May God continue blessing you everyday of your life. I appreciate your honesty and the reality of your story. God will not be out done under no circumstances what so ever. I love him and so grateful for his blessings he continues to bestow upon my life. I’m a work in progress.

  3. ann April 29, 2015 at 6:38 am - Reply

    oops, I meant listened—not “listed.”

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