New Life Live: April 30, 2012

Topics: Counseling, Divorce, Marriage, Blended Family, Add, Dating
Hosts: Steve ArterburnDr. Jill HubbardMilan Yerkovich
Caller Questions:

  1. Can you know you are seeing the wrong counselor after 2 visits? 
  2. Since my divorce, I realize I was a jerk. How do I get my ex to reconcile? 
  3. How do I stop my 21yo stepdaughter from causing trouble between me and my husband? 
  4. I love the book “The Encounter”. Thanks to all of New Life for all you do! 
  5. What steps should we take to get our 24yo ADD son to grow up? 
  6. Why do I have no “spark” when I’m dating a guy who is emotionally available? 

Suggested Resources:
Walking Into Walls
How We Love
How We Love Our Kids
Is This the One


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  1. CRAIG May 1, 2012 at 4:31 am - Reply

    I would like to encourage the guys & gal hosts at New Life to write a book with a title like “How to be content without dating & marriage>” These relationships are far more trouble then they are worth. I can understand why the Catholic Church does not want preists to marry. I can understand why St. Paul urges Christians not to get married. In order to succeEd in dating & or marriage,your picker has to work extremely well & you must have a ton of humility. The only group of folks that I applaud marriage for are the Amish. I live in Berks County,Pennsylvania very close to Lancaster County-the home of the largest Amish community inthe nation-61,000. They know how to marry & raise families. Just because we want something very badly does not mean it is the Lord’s will for us.(Read the book of James about this).If you want to succeed at anything you must have the instincts for it & the knack for it. Many folks have neither for dating or marriage. Also the Lord does not always want to heal us completely from emotion problems either. The Lord says know to various kinds of healing as He says yes. In everything,the Lord’s will must & will be first & if we forget that we will waste a lot of time & money trying to be healed when it is not his will. Steve’s favorite word is Aacceptance. Sometimes the Lord wants us to overcome emotional damage in our lives & other times he does not. We need to remember this..

    • Pat May 3, 2012 at 2:41 pm - Reply

      Very insightful and wise words Craig. I agree with you totally. I admire the Amish too. Just wish the men could shave regularly.

    • Deb May 4, 2012 at 5:20 pm - Reply

      There are hundreds of those books with that topic. And they are silly. Know one talks about just accepting that divorce is God’s will for you life don’t seek counseling.. Know one talks about inferility being God’s will for just leatn to live without don’ try adoption or treatment. Know one says you got cancet just accept it and stop going to Docters.

  2. Devin May 1, 2012 at 6:12 am - Reply

    Craig, I don’t think that Steve’s favorite word is ‘acceptance’. It is ‘transformation’. Two very different POVs.

  3. Shell May 1, 2012 at 7:33 am - Reply

    I agree re people’s pickers and our tendency toward intensity over intimacy. I also think many people have never learned that love is daily actions not a feeling alone. But I think it is wrong to knowingly stay stuck in your emotional problems. Healing may not bring a successful marriage and family to your doorstep, but it will help your journey toward a closer relationship to God and others. The Bible is very clear we are to grow in God’s love and share that love with others. Emotional issues get in the way of that.

    • CRAIG May 1, 2012 at 8:50 am - Reply

      Shell–I am not saying to stay stuck in your emotional issues. What I am saying is be careful about what & how the Lord is speaking to us about all things. Remember Paul’s thorn in the side anaology. Rember Jacob wrestling with the angle of the Lord all night. He got his blessing all right,but also a permanent limp. All things are possible thru the Lord,but that doesn’t mean that he will always do what we hope He will do-including healing us from physical or emotional suffering. Remember when we are weak in ourselves we are strong in the Lord.

  4. Anthony May 1, 2012 at 2:22 pm - Reply

    I admire the Amish for many things but there is a dark side to the Amish. I was friends with a lady who had lived Amish for a long time, but her husband was very abusive. No one in the community would help her and she was basically told that she had to submit and take it.

    • Pat May 3, 2012 at 3:19 pm - Reply

      Wow, maybe I don’t like the Amish so much then. It is strange that they all look the same! It sounds as if they have perverted the word ‘submission’ like many have without reading the rest of the Bible. I think that learning the difference between chemistry and love needs to be taught. It seems that they are not the same thing is still a new concept in our society. I may have an intense chemistry with someone, but their values may be little or none! Some still don’t know what the word ‘value’ means! This stuff isn’t taught in schools, so if they don’t learn from parents, they are doomed.

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