New Life Live: April 9, 2015

Topics: AddictionsDatingHomosexualsAnxietyParentingPornographyAdult Children, Sexual Integrity 
Hosts: Steve ArterburnDr. Jill HubbardMilan Yerkovich

Caller Questions:

  1. My son’s friend cuts herself; how should I advise him to help her? 
  2. What is my role in getting my son’s girlfriend to disclose her past? 
  3. I have lost everything important to me and can’t overcome my anxiety; what do I do? 
  4. How can I help my 17yo son overcome his porn addiction? 

Suggested Resources:
How We Love
Healing Is a Choice
Every Man’s Battle
Every Young Man’s Battle

This is the Marriage Solution Weekend Workshop testimony Steve read on the radio today:

Before coming to this weekend, we had hit a stuck point in our marriage. I was not connecting emotionally with my husband. We were living like housemates. The weekend was tough, but the material provided on connection and restoring connection put new light on our issues. The explanation of attachment style was eye opening, and the group sessions with other wives who were experiencing the same feelings and emotions were invaluable. It took up to the last group session for me to get there, but I am leaving the weekend with hope, renewed strength, and understanding. Lori

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  1. Tricia April 9, 2015 at 11:01 am - Reply

    At first I was very mad at the lady with the 17 y.o. son who has waited 3 years to get him help for his addiction. But then upon hearing about her husband, I can understand a little more. I still think I would have tried *something.* However, he sounds 98% like my engineer husband. He would rather deal with things AFTER they happen, rather than to talk about things in advance. It is odd, because he is a planner. But on things (especially anything to do with emotions/feelings) with our kids, he does not like to talk to them about important matters. He leaves that to me. I guess that is because it is something he can’t personally control. Sigh…

  2. ann April 9, 2015 at 11:31 am - Reply

    Commenters and callers, I mean no harm but the last caller was truly blessed and could not see it because of the money, 3 million dollars….what. 2 failed marriages. Okay, somewhere there should have been a wake up call to help long before now. She’s been talking to someone obviously and not just New Life because now she has no other choice but to ask for help from state, church, or other. I pray that things work out for her and that she’s able to get back on her feet and get her kids back and be better than ever. Sometimes money can be the root of evils, this is a prime example because you didn’t know any better, now you do know better so please continue your efforts with getting help and keep your prayers strong and trust God to see you through it all.

  3. ann April 9, 2015 at 12:03 pm - Reply

    Tricia, thanks for sharing your comment. I honestly feel that the reason men, dad’s, husbands, don’t really get too involved in issues as such is because they depend on their wives to take care of things. My father was a little like that, I never remember him talking to my brothers about personal issues, I only remember my mother doing so. It has something to do with their upbringing, well I know my fathers childhood had a lot to do with how he handled or didn’t handle things. Until wives take a stronger stand in husbands getting more/deeper involved in their child’s lives then and only then will some changes come about. Counseling is a good start if the wife is afraid of anything, however, you cannot force your husband to do what he does not want to do but there shouldn’t be a choice in matters of a child when they need help. The longer you wait the worse things get. I will be praying for you, your son, and family.

  4. Pat April 11, 2015 at 9:25 am - Reply

    I am SO SORRY for Katie who got all that money at way too young an age. What a nightmare. It’s really too bad, and the person who gave it was not wise to give it to someone that young. Your priorities change even from age 40s to 55. They should have given her enough to go to school (learn about things that will always depreciate) and put the rest in a 401k until a certain date (age 55) with a good stock broker after much homework, and not trusting just anyone. Last year I watched $100,000 grow and gained $10,000. That is the kind of thing you want to see on a regular basis. I would like to buy a Ferrari but would not unless it was going to appreciate. I felt so bad to hear this story. My husband died when I was 38, and we had nothing but debt, not enough equity for anything except new brakes on my truck. We had fun and had everything but were stupid- nothing growing or saved. I am much more careful now. I pray you grow in wisdom and that God gives you a second chance. Please work on your own life, mostly learning and wisdom, and trust God that things will fall into place. I pray you can forget the past some so it isn’t eating away at your future.

  5. Elizabeth April 27, 2015 at 1:10 pm - Reply

    I just want to reach out to the mom who is so desperately trying to protect her son from relationships which involved girls who are damaged. Please please please, allow for God’s grace in these relationships. Sometimes, it’s not a matter of forgiveness–so many of us entered adulthood having been victimized or having experienced childhood trauma. If my husband had thought that I was damaged–or that I had made a mistake — or needed forgiveness, we would have never been blessed with a 30 year marriage with has been rich in God’s grace and blessing.

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