Radio Show:
Hosts:
Steve Arterburn, Dr. Henry Cloud, Dr. Sheri Denham
Discussion Topics:
Marriage, creating boundaries,
Caller Questions:
1. How do I deal with my wife’s anger and hitting me?
2. I am a lesbian; how do I make peace with my family?
3. I struggle with indecision and felt left behind as a child.
4. Am I right to have rules for adult kids living under my roof?
Suggested Resources:
Boundaries With Teens
TV Show:
Hosts:
Steve Arterburn, Dr. Jill Hubbard, Milan Yerkovich
Discussion Topics:
Dating, evangelism, sexual integrity, eating disorders
Caller Questions:
1. Am I attracting unavailable men?
2. I have a question about Steve’s boat analysis.
3. My faith is weakened and it’s hard to do my nursing home ministry.
4. Is there an Every Man’s Battle for my 17-yr-old son?
5. My daughter in college has bulimia and won’t get helep.
Suggested Resources:
Avoiding Mr. Wrong
Finding Mr. Right
Healing Is a Choice
How We Love
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August 10, 2010 at 10:41 am
Steve, Henry, & Sherri,
A different bunch of shrinks but the same old meaningless junk science. There ARE gay Christians, y’know? Here we ago again, immediately attempting to blame the parents. Henry, it’s NOT a ‘lifestyle’ it’s a LIFE! Hurray, Henry pulls back & avoids the theological knowndown dragout dispute, because he believes gays can’t be christians.The caller does NOT have to respect her family’s ‘values’ (your values, too) which are hateful. Celibacy is not a choice for most people, giving up a life of intimacy is NOT possible for mose people. Hets can’t do it, why should gays? And Steve, the caller was NOT ‘struggling’ with her sexual orientation. What is it about you guys that you have to describe perfectly happy, healthy gays as ‘struggling’? The caller was not struggling. I’m not ‘struggling’. My friends aren’t ‘struggling’. The only people struggling are you & your shrinks because you just don’t seem able to get your heads around the normalcy of gayness.
August 10, 2010 at 11:09 am
Some thoughts for the the lady who is now a lesbian, but was raised fundamentalist, I was also raised by a fundamentalist father, and as the years have gone by, I have become agnostic. I have had discussions with my father over the years about Christ that would almost always end in arguments and anger; my father is unable to accept other peoples points of views on subjects he feels strongly about and will argue for hours on end, especially with me, his son, on subjects such as my non-belief in Christianity. After a lifetome of this he has basically isolated himself and my mother from his family, and others. They have no friends either for this reason. He is now in his mid 80′s. Several years ago, I decided if I wanted to have a relationship for the last years of his life, and stop him from becoming even more isolated, I would just go along when the subject of his religious beliefs come up, nod my head and say yes that’s the truth, then change the subject when possible. Our relationship is better and we argue much less, and we enjoy our visits much more. I’m sure at some level he knows I don’t believe like he does, but he doesn’t push it and neither do I. Is it completely honest on my part, no. But in the end, I had to decide what kind of relationship I wanted with him as his time nears an end (or mine, who knows when their time is up). So I guess I’d say sometimes the child has to accept things about the parents, and that may include accepting limits on what you should expect out of them. So for what it’s worth, go see them alone and ignore the elephant in the room, talk about the good times you’ve had with your family, and bite your tongue at times. Maybe over time they will become more accepting, but in the meantime you’ll have some kind of relationship, which is better than none, in my case definitely, and maybe yours also. Some day one of you will no longer be here, and then all of you may wish you had kept the ties that bind.
August 10, 2010 at 12:37 pm
Hi there, just want to send a message to lady who called in , in a lesbian relationship, believes in Christ, but feels what is, is- and some problems with parents–my son struggles with same-sex attraction, did not want or choose it, but felt resigned and also felt he didn’t want to be alone the rest of his life. His father and I took him to an Exodus International 3 day event in California- and he learned SO much about what causes these needs for samesex affirmation to become sexualized at a very young age-I can’t say enough good about the whole experience-it was so illuminating, my husband and I learned SO much as well!!! We actually had coffee with a beautiful gal who was newly , blushingly, happily married (previously in a long term lesbian relationship) to a man M.C.ing the event who was himself also sure he was ‘gay’.!!! If you go on the Exodus International website and look under ‘testimonials’, you can read all day and not come to the end of people’s stories of hope and healing!!! It takes time, sometimes lots of time, but you are given the tools and the knowledge – and so many resources- My son believed and wanted to follow Christ, and was confused and so hurt-and so many years it kills me that he carried this all alone-wondering WHY, if God loved him, would ‘give’ him same-sex attractions, would MAKE him this way, yet condemn him for ‘living out’ those attractions, or else condemn him to be alone with no special one to love for the rest of his life on this earth!! Oh my beautiful friend! We live in a sin-sick world, still under the curse, and whatever set of circumstances that lead you to become confused as a little innocent girl were not of your own making. Your Creator who loves you more than anything created you in the image of God, in the sacred feminine, and you can begin the healing journey of becomming and experiencing who He created you to be, body, mind, and spirit. Please, please, check out Exodus International. Forgive others, forgive yourself, …thank you for considering this…may the joy and peace of God be yours all along your journey!! : )
August 10, 2010 at 1:20 pm
Sally,
I’m so sorry you fell for the propaganda & took your gay son to the fraudulent Exodus program! It is based on lies & deception. If you want to know the background of Exodus I advise you to read Wayne Besen’s ‘Anything But Straight’ & you will see how you have been deceived. It never works for long. Gay is gay. Always will be, even if you repress your God given sexual orientation all day long. The only ‘ex-gays’ are people who are part of the ‘ex-gay industry’ who get paid to run programs & claim they are no longer gay. But when you press them you find that the are NOT heterosexuals, they still have their same-sex attraction, they still fantasize about the same sex, they are just white-knuckling it like a dry drunk.
Gayness is NOT a curse! Whatever gave you that fanciful idea? Far from it. I thanks God every morning that I am gay. And don’t believe the junk science that NARTH & Exodus use, don’t believe Steve’s tired ol’ ‘it’s the parents’ fault’ garbage either. You can be gay & be a Christian at the very same time even though some fundamentalist types want you to think it has to be one or the other. I wish your son well. Eventually he’ll get tired of playing Exodus’ games & come out a happy, healthy gay man who loves Christ at the same time. Sorry you were tricked by the scammers & the charlatans!
August 11, 2010 at 3:00 pm
Devin,
God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life. He wants to forgive you & set you free. Hopefully we are reading from the same Book.
And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved. Since they thought it foolish to acknowledge God, he abandoned them to their foolish thinking and let them do things that should never be done. Their lives became full of every kind of wickedness, sin, greed, hate, envy, murder, quarreling, deception, malicious behavior, and gossip. They are backstabbers, haters of God, insolent, proud, and boastful. They invent new ways of sinning, and they disobey their parents. They refuse to understand, break their promises, are heartless, and have no mercy. They know God’s justice requires that those who do these things deserve to die, yet they do them anyway. Worse yet, they encourage others to do them, too.
To find more encouragement, read my comments from 8/9.
August 11, 2010 at 4:05 pm
I believe you’ll all find this as helpful as I did:
http://911christ.com/
Anyone who is willing to check it out, post your comments here when your done.
August 12, 2010 at 4:37 am
Steve, Henry and Sheri, I listen to your program often while driving, usually on my lunch hour, and caught your conversation with Shenae, the lesbian Christian. I was deeply disappointed to hear you question whether she was really a believer because of her lifestyle choice. Aren’t we all sinners saved by grace? Don’t we all make lifestyle choices at times that are displeasing to God? What about the Christian who chooses divorce? That is certainly a lifestyle choice that is displeasing to God. And what about the divorced person who chooses a second (or third) marriage? We know that is a lifestyle choice that displeasing to God, because God tells us clearly and repeatedly through His Word that it is adultery. Shenae’s statement that she could not live her life alone echoed what I hear frequently from my Christian friends who are divorced. What I don’t do is question whether they are really believers, but instead point them to God’s Word and allow God to convict and change their hearts. You should do the same.
August 12, 2010 at 5:18 am
Chad,
You can better me (or anyone) over the head with bible verses & it makes no difference. I know I am saved by Grace & have no reason to fear hell. It’s people like you who give Christians a bad name. So now YOU are going to judge if I am saved or not. Look to the log in your own eye, dude. You know nothing about me practically and yet you feel you have the right to consign me to your hell? No thanks. Jesus & I are just fine how we are. End of story.
August 12, 2010 at 11:03 am
Devin,
I haven’t questioned you’re salvation. I just hope you’re not relying on what a man told you and/or you convinced yourself to be soundly saved, but that God’s inerrant & infallible Word is the final authority you base your decisions & actions on. What assurance do you have? How do you know that to be true? If we love God, will be obey His commandements. I have already taken the log out of my eye; now it’s your turn. I challenge you to take the good person test. http://www.needgod.com/ Then read the Book of 1 John. If you are still 100% certain that when you die you’ll spend eternity in heaven, then I’ll see you there. Onward & Upward!
August 16, 2010 at 6:13 am
Chad,
Sorry it took so long to get back to you. I was away over the weekend.
You may not have been aware of it, but all of your comments have questioned my salvation. I do not accept the Bible as being ‘inerrant’, sorry. I disagree with the “obey his commandments” idea. You may want to, but it doesn’t make it so. I just don’t get hung up on commandments. I don’t see them as being very important in this day & age. I know you’ll disagree with that. We just see things differently & I think that’s OK with God. Besides, I do not believe that God likes American Christianity all that much. I think he finds it arrogant & egotistical.
August 16, 2010 at 6:54 pm
I understand what you’re saying. It looks like you disagree because it doesn’t fit your lifestyle. Either God is first or He’s not. There is no it’s okay for me stuff because I have a special situation with the Lord.
August 17, 2010 at 6:35 am
Chad,
I do NOT have a ‘lifestyle’, I have a life. That life is normal in most ways but not quite normal in others because I have PTSD.
I have a great relationship with Jesus & the Holy Spirit but I have no relationship with the God of Wrath. I avoid him as much as possible so he is NO WAY ‘first’ in my life. I think everyone has a ‘special situation’ with Jesus, so no problem there.
August 19, 2010 at 1:14 am
Devin,
Please read my comments also on 8/9. Thanks for sharing with me about your condition. Even though you may have been this way for some time, I believe the Healer, Jesus Christ can do anything & wants to heal you. Believe and do not doubt. Trust in Him will all your heart and never give up.
Yes, it’s true, each believer does or should have a personal relationship with our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ. He is not a subject to be studied, but a person to be known. As in Philippians 2:12,13 we work out salvation with . . .
Thanks. I’ll be praying for you. God Bless!