New Life Live: August 31, 2015

Topics: Marriage, Affairs, Dating, Pornography, Sexual Integrity
Hosts: Steve Arterburn, Milan Yerkovich and Guest Host Jason Martinkus

Caller Questions:

  1. I was inattentive to my wife due to money issues, and now she has found someone else.
  2. Is there a way to know if I am hearing God’s voice?
  3. How do I confront my boyfriend about his pornography addiction?
  4. What steps can I take to get my husband to Every Man’s Battle?

Suggested Resources:
Worthy of Her Trust
NIV Spiritual Renewal Study Bible
Every Man’s Battle

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  1. Bob Wineland August 31, 2015 at 3:46 am - Reply

    Whenever we act or react to any situation, we are simply making a choice. The choices we make, I believe, are based on the foundation of our very being.
    An example might go like this:
    { ‘My wife has been indifferent to me lately, won’t speak to me, nor will she acknowledge that there is something bothering her.” (This hypothetical” husband” may have been me, and the “wife” may have been my ex.) What must (I) do to get moving on this? I am getting angry and although I think I know why i am feeling this way, I do not really have a clue ( as many husbands can readily attest ). Neither of us were raised with any spiritual values… both my wife and I believed in a God growing up, but our parents didn’t” bother” with those kinds of things and therefore we had no spiritual foundation on whitch to base future relationships.

    I believe that at this point I have look inward, search my heart, and ask some really hard questions.
    (1)… Have (I) been the one who’s been indifferent? Am( I) the the one who has always looked at myself as something less than the perfect man I think I should be?
    (2)…Am (I) the problem?
    (3)…If (I) am the problem, what’s the solution?
    The secular foundation is most always built on sinking sand.
    RAD kids are almost always going to fall through that platform of safety.
    I was not the RAD kid but I was the child growing up in the quicksand of life.
    Until I became a born again believer on September 11, 2005, I indeed was the guy who had the problem. I was not a part of the solution and although I had some idea of why I was so angry growing up, I did not know how to look inward. I did not know why our dad beat us. I did not understand why I felt different than my classmates in grade school, middle school, and high school. I did not know why i could relate to some people and not to others. I did not know why I was bullied s a child, teased and maligned, spit upon, and laughed at for seeking the attention I so desperately needed. I did not know until I visited the Tucson Autism Society to ask them why I had been fired from my last three jobs. Diagnosis: Asperger Syndrome. I kind of suspected this because I had been working with kids like me in TUSD for 15 years. I now understood many things that, prior to my evaluation, were a mystery, a curse, and now considered by myself as a blessing from God.

    So yes i was angry growing up, and yes, I was despised by my classmates for being the “boy who raised his hand” knowing the answer to the question before the teacher asked it. And yes I was the weirdo who told my fourth grade teacher to sit down so that I could properly teach the class the lesson for the day.
    I have since learned that my father had polio as a child. He was bullied, teased, beaten up daily, for being “different” My dad was Aspergers and did not know it. In 1924 there were no evaluations. There was only ridicule and shame and self hatred.
    I have tried to kill myself three times And in many ways but God had other plans for my life. At 68 years I am finally at peace with who i am. I am going to be in discipleship at my church to begin a special needs ministry. Some parents are afraid to bring their “problem children” to church. I am going to part of their solution to an issue that is more commonly known today than ever before. I am” that guy” who became so angry at my ex wife that, in 1967, slapped her so hard I chipped one of her teeth. I am also the guy whom the Lord saved in 2005 so that I might come along side my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ and be a part of their solution.

    Bob Wineland

  2. jean September 2, 2015 at 10:44 am - Reply

    For the last caller on this show, who said she has recently moved to Jacksonville, FL-having been down a similar road myself, including being new to the area when I found out about my husband, my heart goes out to her. if I can be a contact person for her, I am willing to do so.

    • Bob Wineland September 2, 2015 at 10:42 pm - Reply

      Thank you for your open and willing spirit. I was on the other end of your story…Yes I was the abuser both physically and emotionally. I am a born again believer who has a difficult time imagining that i used to be “that guy”, so count me in on being a contact person.

      Bob Wineland
      520 365 8466

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