New Life Live: January 2, 2015

Topics: AngerAffairsAvoidersVacillatorsCommunication 
Hosts: Steve ArterburnMilan Yerkovich

Caller Questions:

  1. I am a Christian; why do things make me so angry? 
  2. Would my husband be a safe person if he had an affair right after our wedding? 
  3. How can an avoider communicate with her vacillator husband? 

Suggested Resources:
Anger Workbook
Understanding Anger CD
How We Love
7 Minute Marriage Solution

This is the Every Man’s Battle testimony Steve read on the radio today:

Dear Steve, I want to personally thank you for saving my life and giving me the chance to save my marriage! For that I will be forever grateful! I came to EMB not knowing what to expect, but left with a better understanding of my addiction and how to combat that addiction in a positive, healthy way. I now feel free to share more openly about my addiction with those around me and to start the healing process toward sobriety. Thank you for letting go and letting God when putting this program together. He has shown up in a big way!  Brad

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  1. Brenda Brown January 2, 2015 at 3:43 pm - Reply

    I need to understand why I still feel love for my estranged husband. We have been married for 28 years and have always had a lot of turmoil in our marriage. He has been diagnosed twice as being bi-polar along with having depression,PTSD and anxiety. He doesn’t accept that he is bi-polar but still takes some of the medication for it because he says it helps him sleep. He moved to another state last year to take a job that would provide more income so he could pay off some credit card debt. He never asked me to go with him just left and this was not the first time he had done this. Last Christmas we decided we would get back together after discussing the requirements we both had for each other, his was he would not move back to this state so I would have to move out there. My requirements were that he would not drink as much alcohol and he be truthful with me. Anyway he did not follow through with this, we even went to a marriage encounter where after renewing our vows he promised he would always be honest with me. I prayed for The Lord to give me a peace about all of this and did not feel any peace so I called off the selling of our house and the move and told him I couldn’t move right now until he followed through on the promises he had made me. This past year has been really hard for me emotionally, I am being counseled but still continue to think about him so much. He calls me and tells me how much he loves me but most times he has been drinking. I do go to Al-Anon and this helps some. He does not think he has a problem with alcohol. I do not want a divorce at this time, my church is really against divorce. Do I just go on this way or what can I do.

    • nadya kotik January 9, 2015 at 1:34 pm - Reply

      my mom just separated from her husband after 29 years because their relationship was toxic and included abuse. i listeed to this radio program and found answers for her here. her husband didnt leave physically but started livng in the living room for years and it brough an unhealthy environment for her and my teen sister. he also drank a lot a few times a month. i know your situation is different but the Bible says if the spouse leaves then its not your responsibility. its very kind of you to offer reconciliation but his actions show you that he is not ready for change and renewing commitment. i think you might miss him because you knew him for so long and like my mom its hard to leave what we know and be out of our comfort zone. my mom went to a church that is against any divorce but this created homes where people hated each other or lived in anger. that is a wrong way to live also just like a divorce. i think you have to choose what is healthier for you emptionally and spiritually. for my mom it was separation. she still tries to blame for talking me into selling her house and separationg but she is healing so much from all the bad ings he brough i her life. hope this helps.

  2. ann January 5, 2015 at 7:47 am - Reply

    wow, the calls today were very deep. To the gentleman that called who molested his daughter, I felt his pain as he was releasing that bond that had him in prison in his own being. God has forgiven you, please don’t give up, continue praying and trusting God, you obviously want to be freed from this evil that dwells in you. Yes, you have hurt people, especially your daughter and that’s because you have never been healed from the hurt you experienced when you was a little tot. Ask God to help you to forgive yourself and then you’ll see that God has indeed forgiven you. I will pray for you and for your daughter. I rebuke that cycle that’s trying to grow strong in you and in your family.

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