New Life Live: January 23, 2015

Topics: NarcissistsSexual IntegrityDatingAdult ChildrenAddictionMother Issues
Hosts: Steve ArterburnDr. Sheri KefferMilan Yerkovich

Caller Questions:

  1. I am living proof God can heal you from narcissism! 
  2. As a recovering sex addict, should I break off my long-distance relationship? 
  3. Is there anything wrong with my 42yo son living at home? 
  4. Since my mom’s affair, she blames me for our poor relationship. 

Suggested Resources:
Worthy of Her Trust
Every Man’s Battle
Is This The One
Boundaries
How We Love

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2018-01-26T06:20:36+00:00

9 Comments

  1. Lori January 23, 2015 at 11:39 am - Reply

    We always think that sexual intimacy is more important to men. My case is the opposite. My husband has turned his back on me. We have not had relations in 3 years. We sleep in the same bed every night. In the past, when I tried to ask what is the problem. There is no response. It appears when trying to talk about matters of the heart, there is no communication. He clams up.
    So the last time I attempted to have relations, he laid there with his hands behind his head. I threw my hands up and have not tried anything in 3 years. It is VERY frustrating because we have NO intimacy at all. No holding hands, no kissing or hugging. I don’t know what to do. I do in private, use my “toys”. It takes the edge off but doesn’t take the place of.
    I have no desire to “cheat”, however if someone who said the right things or flirted, I honestly can’t say I could resist. I feel that my spouse has left the “gate” open. He says nothings wrong sexually as if I’m a stranger who doesn’t know that something IS wrong. Yes he takes blood pressure meds, and has HEP C. Please give me some guidance, PLEASE!

    Drifting n Bored,

    • Matt January 24, 2015 at 4:46 pm - Reply

      Perhaps your husband has deep resentment (perceived or real) in his heart against you. Have you tried to get him to a Councillor. He might open up to a third party.

      • Lori January 24, 2015 at 5:03 pm - Reply

        Matt you may be right. He used to be a drinker and hasn’t had a drink in over 14 years. A friend once told me, he may see me differently now. That was 14 or 15 years into our marriage at that time. That has always stuck in the back of my mind…No we haven’t tried counseling. Like I wrote, we can’t even talk about the situation. I believe he thinks that everything is ok, as long as I don’t continue to bring it up…

    • Stacy January 26, 2015 at 7:21 am - Reply

      Oh Lori my heart feels for you. I am praying for you and your marriage. Have you thought about giving him an ultimate and see what how he reacts? Or maybe some kind of intervention with a counselor or someone you can trust like your pastor? Just some thoughts.

  2. MontanaBabe January 24, 2015 at 7:03 am - Reply

    I have had this problem most of my married life. Married for 46 years. Spouse chose porn and self satisfaction because he prefers it. Have been to specialists. My husband claims to be a Christian. He reads the Bible regularly. I came to realize that even if he does these things, the devil has his heart and unless he truly believes he has to give his heart back to Jesus there is no hope. I do believe…All things are possible thru God… but we all have free will. When a man is at this point his heart is near death.

  3. ann January 26, 2015 at 7:34 am - Reply

    I want to address Lori first, then MontanaBabe: Lori, I am sorry that you’re going through this with your husband, however, if something doesn’t give soon one of you will walk, seriously and I bet my coins on you doing the walking. I’m not suggesting that, well not yet but please try seeking counseling, let your husband know that you are alive and have feelings, feelings that need tending to. You mentioned he doesn’t touch you in any capacity, that’s wrong, just down right wrong, further that’s not really a marriage if that is in fact the case. Things that are alive need attention and caring, hence YOU. If he is not willing to get some type of help or counseling then you really don’t have much of a choice here. I don’t know your full story I only know what you’ve shared and that’s enough, trust me. So I pray that you take a bigger step on faith and try to seek a third party–counseling, again, if he’s not willing then….I’m just saying. Now, for MontanaBabe, honey after 46 years of marriage and your spouse is in to self satisfaction which is completely unacceptable, that’s a BIG problem. Not sure if you sought further counseling but here again, if you are satisfied with what’s been going on so be it but you are of human flesh, you are married, and you must be tended to as well. I will pray for you as well in hopes that things change for the better between you and your spouse. God is awesome and with him possibilities are endless and ever so rewarding.

  4. Lori January 26, 2015 at 7:45 am - Reply

    @Stacy, I’m seeking Gods wisdom on how to approach him , with the right words. I want him to receive them in love and not criticism or feeling that he has to defend himself. It’s been soooo long since we’ve had any intimacy, I’m not sure that I could even receive it. We both need to talk it out. Our Pastor is more than our Pastor, he’s a close friend. He is degreed in counseling; not sure how I feel opening up to him on this issue.
    Not sure I want to “walk” because of this issue. I appreciate all the concerns. I know God will make a way.

  5. ann January 26, 2015 at 10:06 am - Reply

    Lori, God just answered your prayer. Please speak with your Pastor/friend, there’s a reason why you thought about him. He’s the closest thing to getting a breakthrough through this madness. Pray on it and God will give you the answer and led you to the right place and right person. Something’s getting ready to happen in your life, soon. Trust me!

    • Lori January 26, 2015 at 10:26 am - Reply

      I receive it, Ann! Hallelujah!

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