New Life Live: January 6, 2014

Topics: ParentingNarcissistsWeight LossMarriageAdult Children

Hosts: Steve ArterburnDr. Jill Hubbard Caller Questions:

  1. My 14yo daughter is on her cell phone for hours every day; what can I do? 
  2. How can I talk to my husband who is a narcissist? 
  3. Interview with Mary Lou Caskey, author of new book about weight loss “Show Your Food Who’s Boss.” 
  4. My 36yo son wants to divorce his wife; can I help him to stay? 

Suggested Resources:
7 Minute Marriage Solution  
How We Love
Boundaries in Marriage
Show Your Food Who’s Boss
Subscribe to the NEW LIFE LIVE Podcast via iTunes or streaming audio from Stitcher, the Smart Radio App.



  1. Deena January 7, 2014 at 11:23 am - Reply

    Yes Sheila, your husband is a classic narcissist. No matter how hard you try, no matter how gentle and respectful you are, you are driving yourself to anxiety disorders and an early grave, there’s absolute nothing you can do, and I don’t understand why there is this insistence on the “gentle approach.” Yes, it would work with the average person who is walking wounded in this life. So many therapists simply don’t understand that there is no helping an NPD whatsoever, he will continually drive the relationship into the ground, the more sensitive you try to approach him, the more he will display his NPD disorder. I love the New Life team and all of their incredible wisdom, but I urge you…PLEASE, for your very health and sanity, listen to every broadcast archive on the Melanie Tonia Evans website. I’m not encouraging you to follow her methods one way or the other, its up to you, but at the very least, she is absolutely realistic about what you deal with when you live with a narcissist, and you will learn that things will never change. They do not respond to tenderness…they do not respond to therapy, because the very moment they are asked to be accountable as adults, they abandon the therapist and they suffer narcissistic injury from the one who is tenderly, lovingly and respectfully trying to have them be accountable like an adult. I have no interest at all in this other than the fact that I know what you are suffering, and I’d never had it explained to me as real as MTE has. To be narcissistically abused is absolutely among the most horrific of experiences in one’s lifetime, and your own mental health goes down the drain as you try to deal with an angry 2-year old who expects to be bowed down to like a king. I know that Jill and Steve mean well, but there’s only one way to deal with a narcissist – DON’T. Narcissists have long ago split off from the capability of reaching inside themselves and changing or improving. Please, I beg you and every woman living in this utter torment. Run for you very life and health!

  2. Deena January 7, 2014 at 2:41 pm - Reply

    I had to come back and inform you of another valuable resource in realizing what you are dealing with in living with a narcissistically disordered individual. Please go onto YouTube and watch every video recorded by Sam Vaknin, he is the author of Malignant Self Love: Narcissism Revisited, and he has recorded many videos on dealing with true narcissism. He, like Melanie, will give you the real deal about this disorder, which is extremely damaging to the lives of those involved with narcissists. I know that therapists are careful not to have people throwing around diagnoses and calling people narcissists, as evidenced by Steve’s question to Sheila asking “how do you know (he’s a narcissist)? However, here is the fact of the matter, a narcissist will NEVER stick around for an official diagnosis from a therapist. Even if you’re lucky enough to get a narcissist into the therapist’s office, they will generally bail on the therapeutic plan because therapy, at some point, requires them to examine themselves and their own behavior. With every breath the narcissist takes, he or she is absolutely determined to remain victimized and without accountability for his or her own behavior, blaming everyone else for everything that’s wrong so as to remain the victim. So again, the more you ask “what did I do to make you upset?” …the more they will heap upon you their own issues for which they refuse to take personal responsibility. Yes, the narcissist was once a “wounded little boy,” but when it comes to a true NPD, it goes well beyond that, and they have split off and cannot be fixed. The average therapist is utterly clueless about dealing with narcissists and believes they can be head-counseled like everyone else. Please don’t waste your life waiting for your narcissist to be officially diagnosed – while you grow tumors and grow increasingly dependent on anxiety meds and become increasingly poor (as many narcissists are financially irresponsible) – as you are dragged up and down the narcissistic roller coaster, all the while being kind and gentle. The Jekyll / Hyde behavior will absolutely cut years off your life, and will surely diminish the quality of the years that you do have.

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