New Life Live: July 22, 2015

Topics: Christian Walk, Immigrants, Anger, Affairs, Forgiveness
Hosts: Steve Arterburn, Dr. Sheri Keffer

Caller Questions:

  1. How can I change my ungodly attitude towards immigrants?
  2. Why have I had an anger problem all my life?
  3. I am struggling to get past my wife’s affair even though we are in counseling.

Suggested Resources:
Healing Is a Choice
Anger Workbook
Worthy of Her Trust
Surviving an Affair  (no longer available through New Life)

Subscribe to the NEW LIFE LIVE Podcast via iTunes or streaming audio from Stitcher, the Smart Radio App.



  1. Susana July 22, 2015 at 12:21 pm - Reply

    This is more of a question than a comment. I have been at the same church since 1988. I was 15 yrs old and my parents are one of the founding families. When I was 25 yrs old and a virgin, I had an affair with the pastor. The affair ended after 3 months because I moved to another town 8 hrs away. After 2 year, I felt the leading of God to move back. When I moved back I resumed the affair not wanting to but, I quickly stopped the affair. I continued to attend the church and I am still there. I am now 40 yrs old and things have sparked again but, I have not had sex. I realize it is an emotional affair. I want to leave the church but, I have no direction from God on want to do. I have stopped all communication with the pastor and have I even stopped going to bible study in order not to see his face and be tempted to talk with him. What do I do? Do I stay or go? Please help. I need healing and to get out of this church.

  2. ann July 23, 2015 at 6:27 am - Reply

    Susana, thanks for your honesty and openness. I suggest you get counseling just for yourself to be sure of things and your decisions. If you feel you cannot attend the church any longer then I suggest you move on and find another church home. Things will only get worse if something isn’t done and soon. You are fully aware of how you feel toward this pastor and this pastor is also aware of the feelings both yours and his, but please stop communication, texting, emailing and any other contact with this man. Make it plain that you no longer want anything to do with this man/pastor as far as a relationship of any kind, emotional or other. If things get too difficult I suggest you just move on. The flesh is so deceiving but I do know how it feels to even think about having to find another church, however, you did initially move before so it shouldn’t be too hard to do again. It’s up to you, you have FULL control over this entire situation. Follow your heart, not your flesh, and trust God. You’ll know. Blessings to you.

  3. Tamara July 31, 2015 at 10:14 am - Reply

    Caller 1: Are you me? I am also a black woman with 3 university degrees, 6 figures worth of student loans, a childhood that included molestation and a very emotionally abusive narcissistic mother. But my question is this,why are you calling them about this? Your concerns regarding immigration are quite valid. Why else do you think it’s such a hot political issue? Validate yourself, instead of feeling as though you have no right to feel the way you do, it’s a reality. BEFORE all of my self work and emotional healing, I would have also thought “oh I shouldn’t feel this way as a christian…” But now that I’m much better off emotionally, I trust my feelings. Please briefly look up what has happened to countries like Sweden, France and the UK due to uncontrolled immigration. There is much validity to your concerns, and you are not racist. Take care of you..Love

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