New Life Live: June 10, 2015

Topics: Affairs, Forgiveness, Boundaries, Adult Children, Homosexuals
Hosts: Steve Arterburn, Dr. Jill Hubbard, Milan Yerkovich

Caller Questions:

  1. I had an affair and I am Christian; how do I forgive myself and move on?
  2. What boundaries can I put in place for a 40yo emotionally abusive daughter?
  3. My dad will be mad if I do not attend a gay family wedding, but I do not want to.
  4. I have been stalked for 4yrs; am I faithful or foolish to stay here?

Suggested Resources:
Healing Is a Choice
How We Love
Emotional Freedom Workbook

Subscribe to the NEW LIFE LIVE Podcast via iTunes or streaming audio from Stitcher, the Smart Radio App.



  1. Todd Schulz June 10, 2015 at 11:37 am - Reply

    I am listening to today’s radio show, and I’m sorry it was pre-recorded.

    I was raised in a Baptist Church, so I am very rigid in my beliefs. I lost many girrlfriends when including a fiance because I stood so frim in my beliefs and did not have room to allow for todays society nor do I feel we should all just get along. The only way is GOD’s way. JESUS did not come so we would all get along, he came to bring the truth and he said daughter’s would turn on mothers and son’s would turn on fathers.

    So, all that being said, I do not believe that we should comprimise in our beliefs just to keep harmony in the family. But here is where I put my 2 cents in and I think many people will be surprised at my stance on this topic.

    I do not believe we should stay away frtom this family members wedding. I do not believe we should go and teach fire and brimstone and make a scene and tell these people Turn or Burn !!! I believe we can go to the wedding, make our presence known, but at the same time stand on my beliefs. JESUS did not boycott the sinners presence !!! He said he came for the sinners !!! He said the healthy do not need a Dr, but the sick. So he dwelt among the sinners and he ate at their table !!! AND he did not comprimise what he believed !!! People knew where JESUS stood in his beliefs and because he dwelt among them, they turned to JESUS and BELIEVED in HIM and GAVE their LIVES to HIM and SERVED HIM the rest of THEIR LIVES !!!

    AS I stated when I began, I was raised Baptist. So when someone in our church got into trouble they were told to leave !!! Nobody said, Brother, How can we help you !!! No, they were told to leave the church and to not come back !!! I never understood that. JESUS did not act like that, he did not turn people away !!! He forgave them, fed them, healed them, raised them from the dead !!! JESUS never turned his back on anyone and he certainly did not stay away from them. He lived among them and ate with them and spent time with them and they turned from their sin and came to him, worshiped him and served them the rest of their lives !!!

    So I believe that if you want to let your cousin know where you stand and want him to know you do not support his lifestyle, then go to his wedding !!! Be there with him, stand there with him, show love to him, and show him GOD’s “LOVE” !!!! And hopefully because of GOD’s Love your cousin and his spouse will one day come to GOD because of the love & support that they were given in GOD’s Love. Because they will not know of any other way if Christians boycott them and stay AWAY from them. We only push them away further from GOD and ourselves if we boycott them and show them our scorn.

    JESUS did not stay away from sinner’s, tax collectors, prostitutes and homosexuals {Luke 7:40-50}. He loved them and he dwelt among them {Luke 19:1-10
    } Therefore I believe that we should follow his example and do likewise.

    • Pat June 13, 2015 at 11:51 am - Reply

      I see your point, thank you. I can relate to not wanting to go because I do not want to waste my time being around certain people. I have not been sociable with heathens, especially those at work. But by standing and knowing God’s word, I can see their problems clearly, even though they think they have no problems. Personally, I get angry and resentful and can easily say hurtful things about them, so I tend to stay away from secular people. I don’t even go to church because they don’t strike me as Christians, so I listen to show like this, and watch Charles Stanley, Joel Osteen, etc. This gives me church, without going. When I am out, I try to be a good example, of what I know of God, but I do get angry, and the worse people are, the angrier I get, so I keep away from them.

  2. Ann June 11, 2015 at 10:16 am - Reply

    To the caller with the abusive daughter – The minute you show your daughter that you will not tolerate anymore of her disrespect and that you DO NOT fear her, she will bring that attitude right on down. She’s thriving on the thought that you fear her, and you’ve been showing her that you do in fact fear her, it’s time to gird up your loins and show her that you are not afraid of her. My Goddaughter used to live with me, I let her get away with a few things but when I noticed things start getting out of hand she assumed I feared her, I sort of did, it was more so that I didn’t want to hurt her and when I would let her get away with things she thought it was because I did in fact fear her. Police were involved, me putting her out, she disrespected me, I, her and so on, only when I strengthen my breast plate did this child start respecting me. It took prayers, tears, and trusting God to do what I could not. Please nip it in the immediately before matters get worse.

  3. Ann June 12, 2015 at 7:29 am - Reply

    Do you not know that stalking is a crime, God has nothing to do with you not doing anything about this, if anything God wants you to do something about this. Press charges, get a protection order against him, if you’ve already did it do it again. If all else fails take matters in to your own hands, I mean how much more of this are you going to take?? It’s on record that you’ve tried to stop his stalking, it’s on record that you’ve made complaints. The matter that you need to take in your own hands is to step out on faith, when we have no leverage we start to lose everything and then we are left with having to do things such as moving or replacing ourselves. I had to LITERALLY move out of my own home to get my ex out, he would not move even going to court, he would not move. I had to trust God to help me do what I didn’t want to do and that was move out of my own home. That bold step of faith and trusting God is what helped me to be right where I am today, happy, full of joy, no fear, no worrying, no stalkers, just pure blessings and growth in my life and in my faith. Try it.

    • Becky June 12, 2015 at 4:57 pm - Reply

      Thank you for your support. My situation is much more complicated than what I could describe; I just wanted to ask the question I have asked myself so frequently.
      I’ve had Shingles the last six weeks and was diagnosed with Primary Immunodeficiency as well, so I will have to get well physically while looking for a destination and the means to get there.
      I have had a lifetime of abuse and have had to fight to just be myself; I am the first to admit that I have misunderstood or misapplied the Word, but I have always trusted God. It has just been a hard road.
      I am grateful for advice. While it may not seem to others that I heed their advice, it is thatI have been overwhelmed and exhausted to the point of confusion and indecision. Yes, I ask God for the strength and insight to make the decisions that I need to make and follow them through.
      Thank you for sharing your story and your strength. May God bless you.

    • Pat June 13, 2015 at 12:12 pm - Reply

      I noticed my comment to Becky is not being posted so I will repeat myself, by suggesting to her to have another person, outside of where she lives to come by and let him know it will stop, and why it will stop. There is always someone to help. Please get help Becky, you don’t need intimidation from a mental midget.

      • Becky June 14, 2015 at 3:25 pm - Reply

        I have a male friend who is a big man walk across the street and firmly tell this man to leave me alone; the stalker went to the police and tried to file harassment/intimidation charges against my friend. Another man, a neighbor down the street, told the stalker in some rather repulsive ways that the man would understand to stop. I pay for it whether it is the police, friends, or neighbors who have tried to set boundaries; this man torments me even more, not less.
        I trust God that this man will not touch me physically until I am able to move; I need prayer and counseling for the damage he has done to my mind and spirit, which I will pursue.
        I do appreciate you caring enough to post your comments the second time, Pat.

  4. carolyn marlen August 25, 2015 at 8:28 am - Reply

    Wedding guests should be able to bless the marriage. If you cannot do that, and you make it clear to the couple beforehand, would they even want you to attend?
    If you say nothing and just attend, that could well be construed by other guests as well as the couple to be an endorsement of what Scripture calls an abomination.

    Steve often condemns “winking at sin”.

    Wouldn’t it be better to make an opportunity beforehand, by some means, to affirm your relationship to the one being married, but explain why you cannot attend?

    What would Jesus do?

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