New Life Live – June 27, 2013


Topics: AngerDivorceParentingAvoiderVictimIntimacySelf Esteem
Hosts: Steve ArterburnDr. Dave StoopDr. Sheri Keffer
Caller Questions:

  1. How do I move on after divorce? My ex has a lot of anger. 
  2. My husband is OK with our teen kids drinking; what should I do? 
  3. What can I do to change how my avoider/victim husband controls our finances? 
  4. I am at a loss what to do about my husband never touching me. 
  5. How do I stop thinking my pastor husband is comparing me to the women he counsels? 

Suggested Resources:
Healing Is a Choice
7 Minute Marriage Solution
Every Heart Restored

Subscribe to the NEW LIFE LIVE Podcast via iTunes or streaming audio from Stitcher, the Smart Radio App.


  1. When callers phone in with questions about marriage and divorce, I don’t hear the message of the Gospel: that God hates divorce, that marriage is meant to display our relationship with Christ and his faithfulness to us, that it is a covenant. I do hear that it’s just something to get over, that you need to move on, that they or you can remarry at will. That advice does not line up with Scripture and the message of reconciliation seen in Hosea, in the prodigal son, in Christ’s sacrifice for our sins. I would respectfully ask you to consider elevating marriage to the standard provided in His Word, rather than lower it to today’s cultural and moral standards.

    • D, are we listening to the same radio program?

      • D, I had the same concerns in the past, but please keep listening, NLM is definitely for “hanging in there” unless all hope is gone, as in the case where the spouse has already moved on (married to another), or is in a lifestyle where there are biblical grounds & therefore the abandoned spouse is free to remarry. Always biblical advice!

        • D, Keep listening. Yes – divorce is not the first step, nor the middle step, only the last step in a long, hopefully healing, process.

          We cannot close our eyes to sinful behavior (Matthew 18) or to hurting people (Good Samaritan). We can show then God’s path to healing, which I think New Life does every day.

    • There are many many cases of women married to abusive men. If not physically, it is mentally and emotionally. This is not a marriage anyway, so what is there to protect?? Too often they are childish, unwilling to change, unwilling to admit they are wrong, and unwilling to adapt to being a part of a real marriage. Instead they prefer to revert to childhood and act however they want. It is not up to a woman to spend her life babysitting the little boy she married. My humble opinion is that God dislikes many things, along with lying, cheating, immaturity, selfishness, and narcissistic game playing, in addition to divorce.

  2. “Some of the most incredible women I have ever met …lived with the most difficult men…” (Graham)

    If you ask you will find that the majority of women had many warning signs before they married…yet they went ahead & married . Worse they brought children into these “abusive” marriages.

    We really do reap what we have sown.

  3. Pre-marital counseling should be required before any clergy agrees to marry a couple. It needs to be at least 6 months…hopefully 12 months in order to fully cover so many topics that many young couples are not prepared to handle once married.

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