New Life Live: June 5, 2013

Topics: HomosexualitySexual AddictionMarriageTrauma
Hosts: Steve ArterburnDr. Sheri DenhamMilan Yerkovich
Caller Questions:

  1. I just found out my 20yo son is homosexual. 
  2. I am working on my sexual addiction; how do I get my wife back? 
  3. Is there hope for me through brain scans after my auto accident? 

Suggested Resources:
How We Love Our Kids
7 Minute Marriage Solution
Healing Is A Choice

Subscribe to the NEW LIFE LIVE Podcast via iTunes or streaming audio from Stitcher, the Smart Radio App.



  1. New Life Live June 5, 2013 at 2:17 pm - Reply

    Worthy of Her Trust by Jason Martinkus, who leads our Every Man’s Battle workshops, was written just for your situation! Available at STORE above.

  2. dcburke June 5, 2013 at 3:11 pm - Reply

    Regarding the discussion involving “princess.” I am disheartened by some of the response that I heard {Full disclosure, the scenario reminds me of my ex-wife and similar advise that I received}. It seemed that your advise was for him to Teflon-up like John Wayne because his porn/ masturbating relapse was causing her to loose security; stimulating her All-the-stuff-is-mine-so-call-your-mommy attitude and words. While, I appreciate that Sheri did call her out sort of; however, the gentle reminder seems incongruent with the severity of Princess’ actions and the fact that she was behaving that way from day-one of the marriage. Does her behavior not translate to a lack of security for him, just as his actions do for her? So, while Princess received a gentle reminder that her behavior was not helping, her husband was told in essence to toughen up his skin and endure beyond roof-leaking drip. I realize that the healing and high road has to start somewhere with someone, but why the bias? Is it in deference to her being the “weaker vessel” or his dieing like Christ died for the church? It is a frustrating problem to try and wrap my head around. For me, I was perfectly willing to die for my wife (including working through my issues). I just didn’t realize that she would be pulling the trigger and that counselors, church friends and leaders would refuse to address her with the same severe boundaries as they did me….practically speaking, they gave held me down and gave her more bullets.

    • Ray June 7, 2013 at 2:45 pm - Reply

      I agree with your comments dcburke, both parties need to forgive and move forward and both parties will like need to forgive more than once.

      Luke 17:3-4

      If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”

    • Pat June 8, 2013 at 12:07 pm - Reply

      Wow, good letter, dc. Thank you for expressing that. I wish more men could and would express like that ! I agree there is confusion as to how women should act also !

    • REX DOW June 8, 2013 at 11:23 pm - Reply

      This is Rex Dow that was onthe show anyone is welcome to email me. i will be glad to learn more and change for the better

  3. Lynn June 5, 2013 at 4:26 pm - Reply

    With all due respect Steve, please give it a rest…we get it, Sherry hasn’t written a book. My goodness, is that a requirement for being part of the New Life Team? It is getting boring and frankly annoying to hear you keep on reminding her (and us) that she hasn’t written a book yet.

    • val bortner June 5, 2013 at 6:53 pm - Reply

      I agree, I respect Steve ..most defently.. but do feel he is “puffed up” with himself in being an author and makes it seem that no one who hasn’t written a book is ..”less then” esteemed.

    • Pat June 8, 2013 at 12:10 pm - Reply

      Writing a lengthy boring book isn’t for everyone. Maybe Sherri could make a CD instead. Books put me to sleep. I always try to get the audio-cds since I have books up to my ears.

  4. Jane Pappas June 5, 2013 at 5:27 pm - Reply

    Re head injury- not sure what type of injury you had but contra coup (p Is silent)
    causes injury to opposite side of the head from initial impact , from the brain hitting opposite side of skull- hopefully they can determine cause of your symptoms!

  5. carrie June 6, 2013 at 12:24 am - Reply

    Princess….RUN…life with a sex addict is so so damaging.

    A great book that details the trauma and what a wife goes through is
    Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal [Paperback]
    Barbara Steffens (Author), Marsha Means (Author)

    A “relapse” is unacceptable. Once sex addiction is disclosed, YOU KNOW BETTER, there is no excuse for a relapse. You now have the knowledge to make 100 other choices and to respect your self and your spouse other than to act out.

    Stop the Abuse of Partners of Sex Addicts:

  6. Kalo June 7, 2013 at 9:52 am - Reply

    To the women who want first-hand sharing about all aspects of trying to make marriage to a sex addict work, come join us at the Women in the Battle website. You should be able to google it but its also reachable by going to “workshops” at the New Life website and then halfway down is the “online community.”

  7. chris June 9, 2013 at 4:10 am - Reply

    Sexual addiction is ruining our culture from the inside out and the church is leading the way and setting the worst example. Abuse, disease, heartache, abandonment, impoverishment for their families: nothing is too low for these selfish men. Nothing is too high a price for their booty.

    Whatever happened to not even a HINT of sexual immorality among you? What would a letter from Paul to the church in America look like? I’m thinking really harsh words.

    Any Christian husband whose wife will even still look at him after such a gross breech is insane to complain about anything. He actually deserves death and and doesn’t appreciate the grace he has being shown. He is asking her to do something he wouldn’t dream of doing if the situation were reversed.

    Addicts don’t tell the truth, and wont hear the truth. They hate truth. They must decide they love truth (which is God) more than they love themselves, that’s when they will start to get free. Everything before that is a GAME.

    • REX DOW June 9, 2013 at 7:34 am - Reply

      please email me directly

  8. Tammy June 11, 2013 at 12:35 am - Reply

    He has not come to the heart change. He found a way to manipulate through the books. This man abused his wife with adultery. His sense of narsisitic self entitlement has shone through.
    New life, you missed the boat on this one.. His recovery is face value, not heart value.
    She set boundaries… Addicts hate boundaries.
    He will win her by owning his addiction and loving her enough to change to be the man God called him to be.

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