New Life Live: March 28, 2012

Topics: Pornography, Forgiveness, Christian Walk, Parent Issues, Sexual Abuse
Hosts: Steve Arterburn, Dr. Jill Hubbard, Milan Yerkovich
Caller Questions:

  1. My husband said “porn girls” are better than me. 
  2. How do I forgive the family of my brother’s girlfriend trying to kill him? 
  3. What is the difference between the calling of God vs. the zeal to serve Him? 
  4. My father-in-law had an affair with his daughter-in-law; how do we handle with my kids?
  5. How do I deal with my sexual abuse now that my abuser father has died? 

Suggested Resources:
Secrets Women Keep
How We Love



  1. Allison March 28, 2012 at 11:29 am - Reply

    First caller dealt with husband who told wife she was not good enough for him compared to porn sites. What about if your husband never tells you you are pretty anymore because you have gained weight even though you have tried hard to lose weight? I know he does not have a sex addict problem with any porn or anything. But, what about if your husband tells you that he is not attracted to you and therefore has more sexual thoughts about other women that he may pass or see during his day?

  2. Trish March 28, 2012 at 1:02 pm - Reply

    Is this a new thing – to have a listen button instead of the program embedded in the post? When I click on the listen button, it takes me to the oneplace website and plays the episode from yesterday. Is the episode with Joyce Meyer going to be available to listen to?

    • Tara March 28, 2012 at 1:06 pm - Reply

      I, too, am having this same problem

  3. Erin March 28, 2012 at 3:08 pm - Reply

    Thank you so much for having Joyce on the program today. She has helped me so much in my life, and I really enjoyed hearing her advice today. Keep up the great work!!

  4. Susan Taylor March 28, 2012 at 6:14 pm - Reply

    I am trying to get a copy of the show on March 14, 2012 on restitution.
    How do I do that?

    • Dianne - NLL Call Screener March 29, 2012 at 3:27 pm - Reply

      You can call the Call Center and order one at 800.639.5433

  5. Wayne March 28, 2012 at 9:25 pm - Reply

    Dear Steve and Staff:

    Today, I noticed that you had Joyce Meyer on your show. I was quite surprised due to the fact that I know that you guys usually refer to the authority of the Scriptures in your counseling.

    I’m not sure if you are even aware of Joyce Meyers heretical teachings, especially on the atonement of Christ on the Cross. Clearly, many of her teachings are rooted in the “Word of Faith” movement where other well-known false teachers such as Fred Price, Creflo Dollar, Benny Hinn, Kenneth Copeland, Kenneth Hagin, and many, many others are affiliated. Here are some specifics in terms of her heretical teachings:

    In her 1991 booklet, The Most Important Decision You Will Ever Make, she teaches a hallmark doctrine of Faith theology, namely, that Christ had to suffer in hell to atone for our sins and be born again:

    During that time He entered hell, where you and I deserved to go (legally) because of our sin….He paid the price there….no plan was too extreme…Jesus paid on the cross and in hell….God rose up from His throne and said to demon powers tormenting the sinless Son of God, “Let Him go.” Then the resurrection power of Almighty God went through hell and filled Jesus….He was resurrected from the dead — the first born-again man.

    There are tons more of her nonsensical teachings, but I know that I am limited here. I guess what I want to know is how do you vett people that you bring on your show? Are you concerned with “Sound Doctrine” as the apostle Paul exhorted Timothy to preach and teach?

    Respecttfully Yours,


  6. Pat March 29, 2012 at 12:35 am - Reply

    Joyce Meyer has been around for a long time. She has done nothing but good. I have seen the things they are doing in other countries. I only support ministries I believe in, and that’s why I support Club New Life, Joyce Meyer Ministries, and 700 Club. I am happy to do so and feel privileged to be a part of all of them.
    I have not seen any ‘heresy’ in her teaching. I did meet a man who said that Paul said that women are not supposed to be preachers, and that was why he did not like the idea of Joyce Meyer. In those primitive days, women stayed home with the kids; so of course they weren’t going to take off on long journeys with Jesus. Well, women weren’t truck drivers in those days either, but I’m living proof that we do very well at it.

    • Kay March 29, 2012 at 1:17 pm - Reply

      She gave good advice to that lady who suffered from sexual abuse from her father. She could understand the woman because she had been where that lady had been.

    • Wayne March 29, 2012 at 9:06 pm - Reply

      Pat, Joyce Meyer may have done good, but she is still very much a false teacher! Biblically speaking, women are not called to be in positions of final authority over men. The qualifications in 1 Timothy 3:1-8 clearly gives the role of pastor-teacher to men only. There are many teachings from Joyce over the years that are clearly contrary to sound doctrine.

      I’m sure she is a likable person, but she should not be her husband’s pastor and spiritual leader. God has clearly called the man to be the spiritual leader in the home, and what is true at home must also be true in the church as God is a God of order and consistentcy.

  7. CRAIG March 29, 2012 at 6:02 am - Reply

    After listening to all the relationship problems folks have,the Holy Spirit has revealed to me that most folks not only lack the skills to sustain any kind of heathy “intimate ” relationship but they also lack the inner ability to be in a close relationship & therefore they should give up getting involved with anyone closely no matter how much they want to. Even 2 devout Christians had better make extremely sure that it definitely is the Lord’s will that they get involved with each other. Instead folks ought to concentrate on going to meeting of all sorts to get their companionship needs met. They need to develop a strong relationship with Jesus as well. When folks get involved with each other they expect someone else to make them happy & load the relationship down with many other unrealistic expectations that cause enourmous pain,frustration,anger etc. In fact I have come to the conclusion that unless you want to have children & it definitely is the Lord’s will,folks(except the Amish who are born & bred for this) should NEVER get married. St. Paul encouraged folks NOT to marry & his discourse on this is never preached on & it is as valid a scripture as any other scripture. Folks must learn to be responsible for themselves first & formost. By the way, I have never been married & I am glad. It has never been the Lord’s will for me. And don’t forget that when old age comes both of you will have to watch each other grow ugly,old & die. Good luck to that.

  8. Kay March 29, 2012 at 1:16 pm - Reply

    Did Joyce Meyer have a cold or something? I thought the guest was a man until they called her Joyce. Her voice sounded very masculine. Is her voice always that way?

  9. Denise March 29, 2012 at 9:01 pm - Reply

    I, too, wondered about the Joyce Meyer connection- I’ve been a little leery of her. However, her advice seemed right on, especially what she said at the end about hurting people hurt people, how that is carried over into future generations until someone gets healthy and stops the cycle. I’m really interested in hearing the entire program as I didn’t get to hear but part of it. I’m curious, too, about not having the shows available to listen to. I’ve tried several times to go to the archives and listen to past shows and am really disappointed at not being able to. That is one thing I really liked about the show- if I missed getting to hear it on air that day, I could go back and listen. I really miss the ability to be able to do so!! Hoping you’ll bring that back.

  10. Pat March 29, 2012 at 11:43 pm - Reply

    That is her voice, always been that way. I doubt that Joyce is the man in her marriage, and yes many years ago when the Bible was put into print, women had a role in the home, and were not taught to be preachers. Jesus took 12 men, but he could have taken 12 women and done just as well. School wasn’t even invented to teach boys, and certainly not girls! Women were not doctors either. Taking care of the home and kids was given to the woman. So if a man is taking care of the children does that make him- a false parent? My how things have changed-thank God.

    • Wayne March 30, 2012 at 7:33 pm - Reply


      You missed the point. The role of women and men are given by God in the Scriptures for specific purposes and have nothing to do with old times verses modern times. The universal truth is that God has ordained men to be the spiritual leaders and providers of their homes and men to be the spiritual leaders in the local church. Times and seasons have nothing to do with it.

      Joyce Meyer was not and is not called to be the spiritual leader of her home and her church. Her husband should be in a role that conveys that he is clearly the leader in both. While I don’t know them personally, it would not surprise me one bit if Joyce is the “boss” even at home given her notoriety and prominent place in her church.

      • Bob Engle April 1, 2012 at 3:45 pm - Reply

        You’re right Wayne, Joyce Meyer’s husband should club her over the head and drag her by her hair back to their cave, I mean house!

        • Pat April 2, 2012 at 9:23 pm - Reply


  11. Devin March 31, 2012 at 5:42 am - Reply

    Great comment, Pat. I agree with you. Wayne is a biblcist though so he’s never gonna see your POV.

    • Wayne March 31, 2012 at 2:50 pm - Reply


      You’re correct, I’m never going to see Pat’s point of view because it is based on her human perspective and not according to God’s purpose of the roles of men and women in the church and the home. His Word will never change no matter the time or season in the culture. Culture changes, but the Word of God never does and is always relevant.

      Recently, Piers Morgan of CNN, when talking with Kirk Cameron about homosexuality, did not like Kirk’s response, so he said the following asinine statement: “given that 6 States now have allowed SSM, don’t you think the Bible needs to be updated?” If that is not stupid and blind, then I need to give back my degrees.

      Morgan, who professes to be a Catholic, thus a “Christian”, is saying that God is outdated and irrelevant because of what 6 States have done in promoting sexual perversion in the land, not to mention those 6 States went underhanded through their politicians and not the people themselves. So in my mind, those 6 States are not valid…but even if the Law says they are, true Christians know that God will never approve, ordain, nor sanction the perversion of homosexuality and SSM!

      • Devin April 2, 2012 at 6:18 am - Reply

        Wayne, actually YOUR interpretation of the Bible is based on YOUR human perspective, as is everyone’s. Just because Eve was created second should not make women second-class citizens. Culture DOES change & culture has its effects on all human beings who have translated the Bible over the centuries. I don’t think Piers Morgan was being ‘stupid’ or ‘blind’ when he made his comments to Kirk Cameron. You are actually ‘interpreting’ Morgan’s statements from your own POV.
        I’m sorry that you subjectively choose to interpret gay equality as ‘sexual perversion’. Do you even know how many gay christians there are all around you & in your own church, perhaps even sharing a pew with you?

        Massachusetts is perfectly happy with gay equality in marriage & if the people were to vote on it (which is ridiculous because a majority should never vote on the civil rights of a minority) they would vote for inclusion, not exclusion.

  12. Jen April 2, 2012 at 5:12 am - Reply

    I would really like to hear why Steve and crew are in support of Joyce Meyers. From my understanding, she distorts the Word of God, which would make me wary of promoting her latest book from a national platform. I hate to ask this, but does New Life get money by having her on the show? Is this another aspect of NLM being desperate for funds? Hopefully not. Here is information about the teachings of Meyers:

    • Devin April 2, 2012 at 6:24 am - Reply

      Jen, I see that you are judging Joyce Meyers by which is the Bible Answerman’s (Hank Hanergraaf’s) website. I know that he does not like her and he has accused her of being a word-faith prosperity-gospel charlatan. But please remember that Hank has been accused numerous times of being a thief of the money which comes in to his ministry (just google his name to learn more). I was also surprised that Steve wanted her on his show but she gave very good answers to the questions she was asked. Maybe she isn’t so bad after all?

      • Anne April 3, 2012 at 10:00 am - Reply

        You’re right Devin, seems Hank is not so squeaky clean himself. I was surprised as well that New Life had her on the show. I think she has wisdom and has the gift of teaching, and I think she’s helped a number of people.

        Where I disagree is when she strays into the “prosperity” junk. Also, I think all ministries should willingly practice transparency and make their finances public, it creates trust, and distrust when they don’t.

      • Jen April 4, 2012 at 5:10 pm - Reply

        Devin, thanks for the tip to Google Hank Hannegraaff. I did so and was very surprised at what I found. My husband and I never felt right about financially supporting his ministry, but I had no guess about all that. It certainly changes my opinion about CRI.

        As for Meyers, while I had linked to an article from CRI, that certainly is not the only resource from which I have found disconcerting information about her. As you suggested, just Google her name to learn more. While you certainly can’t believe everything you read online, there IS a good bit to think through. (Ironically, like Hank, she also is accused of misuse of ministry funds – $32K for a marble-topped commode, anyone?)

        While I am disappointed that New Life Live featured Joyce Meyers, based on what I know of her (and mind you, I could be wrong), it does not affect my opinion of the value of New Life Live or New Life Ministries.

  13. chickadee April 2, 2012 at 10:25 am - Reply

    Did NewLife ask if Joyce Meyer had ever released her financial records which her ministry had previously refused to release? Her & other WOF teachers came under scrunity because of their lavish lifestyles . Many lost their standing with the ECFA.
    I would not give to any ministry that was not willing to open their financial records to THEIR financial supporters & endorsed by the ECFA!!

  14. Pat April 2, 2012 at 9:45 pm - Reply

    This sounds just like the repubs and democrats nitpicking to me. Joyce believes in God, that Christ is God in human form, and that God raised him from the dead. This is the criteria to call oneself a Christian according to Romans 10:9. All the other bickering is just typical petty human stuff, always trying to one-up each other. Joyce’s monthly magazine shows where they go and the great things they do. As I see it, if she isn’t Christian, no one is. If God doesn’t see color, why would he see gender. Saints are saints, and anyone with the knowledge to help others can teach or preach, (or drive trucks) if they want. There will always be chauvanism in the world, but that just looks like CONTROL to me, as I’m sure it does in the eyes of all knowing God. I do not believe it is Godly to limit another person. To limit another person is to limit God, and you will have to answer to God. If God calls a woman to teach, she will know it, and will not need approval from WAYNE or other controllers who think everyone else missed his point. Oh we got your point all right, and still disagree.

  15. chickadee April 3, 2012 at 9:33 pm - Reply

    Pat…the tone of your comments seem more directed at men…maybe you might consider looking at that bitterness.

  16. chickadee April 3, 2012 at 9:50 pm - Reply

    Pat…Dr.Sheri is very compassionate & kind in ministering to women that have been hurt by men. She even kindly responds to personal email. She might be a blessing to you.

  17. Devin April 4, 2012 at 6:06 am - Reply

    I don’t see any ‘bitterness’ in Pat’s comments. That’s an easy word to throw around. Whenever anybody has a disagreement someone shows up with a tsk,tsk you must be ‘bitter’. I think she is just being reasonable.

  18. Jeremy January 25, 2014 at 3:25 pm - Reply

    Agreed, Joyce does preach much good but there are also lies therein. For one, she does preach that if one has enough faith, they will be rewarded (physically and financially) by God. For many Word of Faith teachers A leads to B…faith will get you what you desire.
    Perhaps most troubling is her extravagant lifestyle. The Bible says that it is harder for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich person to get into the Kingdom of God. This is true. When you have millions upon millions like Meyers…you end up living as if you DESERVE marble counter tops and personal jets. The humble, faithful and meek hard road of Christ is traded in for earthly crowns. It is possible to be faithful with money but it is hard, and I don’t believe Meyers is being so…given the mansions she owns and what she chooses to lavish on herself. That is not denying oneself and following Christ.

  19. Rose October 8, 2015 at 6:45 pm - Reply

    I realize this is old, however after reading these comments I literally want to vomit. This is precisely why i will no longer step foot in a building called Church.

    Galatians 3:28 ” There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.
    In the original greek that word Church is “All believers everywhere” Women are therefore “one in Christ along with men” We are not bugars or nail fungus. God doesn’t make junk….and He doesn’t make people who are less than. This is what I am trying to believe for myself at any rate. We are all just sinners saved by Grace. Broken people in a fallen world trying to learn how to love one another in spite of our brokenness.
    How hateful some of these responses seem. They hurt me to the core. It makes me very sad. ” “He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.” 1 John 4:7,8 …Whether you adopt her teachings or not She quite humbly stated that God used her even when she was quite broken. And admitted she still is. Where are you broken friends? Mark 9:40 ” For the one who is not against us is for us.”

    In the historical context verses such as ” Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.” 1 Corinthians 14:34 was written, It is my understanding that women were set free for the first time. Before Christ women could not educate themselves alongside men. When they finally “in Christ” had the freedom to do so they were filled with questions and were asked to hold them until they got home and ask their husbands. It was keeping things orderly so the teachings could progress. Men had always had the privilege to educate and could explain things to the women at home because they always had that right to .learn.

    I encourage you to read about the life and times of Christ. Words like “submit” have been extorted for selfish reasons. In the proper context, a woman should “submit” to her husband (the original greek meaning “respond”) when he is laying his life down for her the way Christ laid down his life for His Church. It would be selfish and sin not to. On the other hand it is real difficult to “respond” to someone with a false sense of entitlement who treats women like trained circus animals that they want to bark orders to and have them submit. A man that would want a woman to submit in that way is very broken and sad indeed. Everything has its purpose.
    ‘ From now on, don’t let anyone trouble me with these things. For I bear on my body the scars that show I belong to Jesus.” Galatians 6:17
    Friend….like Joyce…I too bear the scars of belonging to Christ and still believe. I have had unspeakable things done to me because I have believed. ….and yet i tell you I am unbelievably broken because of these things…and I am trusting Jesus to fix them because I don’t want to feel this broken anymore. That is why I turn to New Life. I am more encouraged by people examining and learning from their own brokenness than I am from those that want to pick someone else apart because of theirs and are not vulnerable enough to expose their own weaknesses. The Bible says that anyone who says they are without sin is a liar. Hence sin is expected to different degrees until we “meet Him in His completeness”

    I deeply apologize but your sad opinion of God’s view of women is something I refuse to wear. And I guess I am telling you this so that I don’t. Why would I want to live….let alone go to heaven and be a second class citizen that is treated no differently than I am on earth? Broken people like me fumble around trying to figure out love on earth because they want to bask in it…some for the first time…in the presence of their heavenly father some day. I believe that we are pressed and tested in this life so that when we finally see our Jesus…we will know the cost of Love…it isn’t I will love you “if”, or “when” or “because”…it truly is I love you Lord no matter what.
    So like you, I am saying what i need to say and respect that you are at a different place in your relationship with Christ than I am. I love you with God’s Love, and pray for God’s healing and Grace to fall into your life. I would also like to thank you for the opportunity to grow.
    God’s brightest of hopes for you all. And, I guess the real message is to not let anyone spoon feed your faith because our sin nature gets in the way. We must test and prove every word for ourselves.

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