New Life Live: November 5, 2014

Topics: DatingMarriageFriendshipControllerEMDRSchizophrenia 
Hosts: Steve ArterburnDr. Sheri KefferMilan Yerkovich

Caller Questions:

  1. Is it wrong for me to be the one to ask my boyfriend of 2yrs to marry me? 
  2. How do I go about being friends with a difficult, controlling friend? 
  3. I have been doing EMDR; how do I know if it is working? 

Suggested Resources:
Is This The One
Best Friends Forever
Healing Is a Choice

Subscribe to the NEW LIFE LIVE Podcast via iTunes or streaming audio from Stitcher, the Smart Radio App. 



  1. Kay November 5, 2014 at 3:59 pm - Reply

    First caller should not be surprise that her boyfriend is in no hurry to marry. He’s getting the milk for free. Why buy a cow when you can get the milk free?

    • Pat November 9, 2014 at 7:56 pm - Reply

      Poor women are always referred to as cows, but it certainly could be worse. But I don’t see any guys saying no either. Why do they think is it ok for them to get whatever they can yet women are supposed to be virtuous? Great advice from Sheri about focusing on growth of the relationship, NOT getting married. Being married is overrated and people are always getting married for wrong reasons. Women need to have a life besides being taking care of and being dependent on someone. Too bad they are room mates because it is financially impossible to live alone, yet they aren’t ready to be married.

  2. Lisa November 6, 2014 at 3:22 pm - Reply

    I am a bit frustrated at how the call from the lady struggling with a friendship went. Although Dr. Keffer’s compassion and wisdom were healing to hear.
    I grew up in a family with a Father who was emotionally crippled due to severe abuse he suffered as a child. I did not find this out till I was 45. Up to then it always seemed that I struggled, dropped out of school, several broken relationships, children born out of wedlock. And it was all my fault. I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me.

    And then JESUS!!

    He turned my life around. I have a wonderful Godly husband of the past sixteen years. I am surrounded by adult children growing in their lives. I have 4 beautiful grand children. And enough struggles from my past life to keep me pressing moment by moment in Christ.
    However, I still do struggle with friendships with woman. I find that even though I pray for those heart connection friendships with woman, they just are not there for me. I belong to a home group but find the connections shallow. No heart connection. I have an enemy whispering daily that I’m difficult to love. But I have a Lord and immediate family who prove that is a lie.
    I have found that the scripture is so true to me when Jesus states that if you only love those who love you where is the reward in that. When the “church” shrinks back from someone difficult to love that is sad but unfortunately very much alive.

  3. Lisa November 6, 2014 at 3:43 pm - Reply

    Sorry Steve I did not hear about the New Life TV bit that Dr. Townsend and Dr. Keffer did on friendships.
    Oh well so much for emotionally vomiting in public :/

  4. Lynne November 6, 2014 at 4:48 pm - Reply

    The hosts could have saved a lot of time with caller #1 if they had asked the “are you living together” question first. She is not a victim. The hosts make it sound like she is this poor, helpless female that is being hurt by this selfish man. She chose to compromise her values to get what she wanted…nobody forced her to have sex before marriage. She is getting as much out of this “relationship” as he is.

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