New Life Live: October 1, 2012

Topics: Depression, Marriage, Anger, Grief,
Hosts: Steve Arterburn, Dr. John Townsend, Dr. Jill Hubbard
Caller Questions:

  1. I am a pastor; could I be going through depression?
  2. My husband of 2 years just went to a fertility clinic to get his ex-wife pregnant.
  3. Interview with Becky Brown on how to find a counselor in your area.
  4. Is it biblical to leave an angry spouse?
  5. My son and daughter both died. How can I not feel so separated from God?

Suggested Resources:
Walking Into Walls
Boiling Point
Safe People


No Comments

  1. Ladybug94 October 1, 2012 at 11:04 am - Reply

    My heart was really touched by the last caller because Ive gone through the same feelings after I lost my son. Those folk, certain church can say the cruelist things and Ive just had to avoid them.

  2. Lily October 1, 2012 at 1:57 pm - Reply

    I feel so sorry for the lady that called with the health problems and loss of her children. She sounds like she needs people around her to support her. I don’t know about the spirit of grief she’s mentioned but it sounds like she needs to grieve. So, so sad.

  3. lynne October 1, 2012 at 4:41 pm - Reply

    That last caller needs to find another church. That poor woman is in such pain and she is getting such poor theology (unBiblical) from her church. That is not a healthy church and they can’t help her deal with her grief. I’m sorry but those people sound nutty and frankly cruel.

  4. Rebecca October 1, 2012 at 6:31 pm - Reply

    A excellent support resource for Christians going through grief is a program available across the US is Grief Share

  5. Anne October 2, 2012 at 12:37 am - Reply

    Unfortunately, I don’t think the church Laura attends is that uncommon. I think churches (people) that are recovery oriented are more the exception than the rule.

    How many of us go to church, have a cup of coffee, exchange niceties, and are literally dying inside? Finding “Safe People,” recovery groups, solid counselors, and if needed, the right medication takes real stick-to-itiveness. It can be gut-wrenching, difficult work, but the pay off can be, well, “Spectacular.”

  6. Felicia October 2, 2012 at 11:10 pm - Reply

    Amen to Steve! He is right that sometimes people just need to shut up! and not say anything when people are grieving. They just need someone to sit with them in their grief.

    • Ladybug94 October 30, 2012 at 1:34 pm - Reply

      Thank you for saying this. Unless you have walked the road that no one want to go, you can’t understand and tell someone how they should feel or how long they should feel that way. Most folk want you to grieve for a few days and start walking on sunshine again and you can’t. This is your child that grew inside your womb, that you love and nurtured for years and all of a sudden are not here. You can only grieve the way you grieve, it’s individual and people need support from family and friends, not bad advice just to make themselves feel better about the other person grieving.

  7. Kryzti October 6, 2012 at 9:04 pm - Reply

    My heart goes out to Laura. I went through that road almost a year ago, a Christian friend and neighbor called the cops on me and my husband of less than a year and he got taken away. I have no family here and naturally as a Christian you navigate towards your church friends. I have a friend that was so supportive in a lot of ways until on the second week when she told me, “You should be angry at him (my husband)right now. Give yourself until this week to cry and then after that you need to toughen up and be strong.” Instead of giving me peace, those words cut deep because I love my husband despite all his faults. There was a lot of labeling like “co-dependency”, “victim” which made me fearful and doubtful and more insecure. Then I opened up to one friend about this and she said, “You are entitled to your feelings. Nobody can dictate what you feel.” Then I started listening to your program and at one point I heard one simple sentence that released my spirit and gave me freedom, I believe it was Dr. Jill who said, “Give yourself permission to grieve.” That was instrumental to God’s revelation of the many losses in the past years that I haven’t gone through the process of grieving that was the reason why I felt like my life was just wasting away.
    Praise God for His provision of Godly counsel through your program. I am in a better place now and I believe the best is yet to come.
    Thank you for giving to the Lord!!!

  8. Ladybug94 October 30, 2012 at 1:25 pm - Reply

    When you’re grieving a child, grief has no pattern it just is. Alot, well most folk don’t know how to deal with a grieiving parent. Since my son has passed I’ve had the most insincetive things said to me all with good intentions. When you are grieving you don’t want to hear scripture or cliche bible quotes, no matter how true they may be you just need people to listen and be there for you where you are.

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