New Life Live: October 24, 2014

Topics: DatingSexual IntegrityAffairsAngerCounselingMarriage 
Hosts: Steve Arterburn and Guest Hosts Marilyn Meberg and Shannon Ethridge

Caller Questions:

  1. After dating 9mos, my boyfriend won’t commit; should I keep pursuing? 
  2. Should I give up on my wife who was sexting a friend and slept with a guy? 
  3. Is it wrong to disagree with our marriage counselor who is not dealing with my wife’s anger? 
  4. Should I get my marriage annulled after one month? 

Suggested Resources:
Is This The One
How We Love
Healing Is a Choice

Subscribe to the NEW LIFE LIVE Podcast via iTunes or streaming audio from Stitcher, the Smart Radio App.*



  1. Anita October 24, 2014 at 6:54 am - Reply

    I started listening to your show last week and began to love it…until today, Oct 24. I have never commented to anything I’ve heard on talk radio but this dealt bothered me. I understand that drinking is not necessarily sin..but when it leads to drunkedness, etc..that is sin and can lead to other types of sin..hurting others, etc. . maybe ‘m alone in this opinion, but drinking with others as if it’s “ok”, to me is wrong. The way it was presented on the show today by Steve A, is concerning, sending the message it’s totally ok to drink and be a Christian. I realize that God can change a person’s heart to not want to drink but your comments, Beer and the Gospel, Christian men meeting while drinking whiskey and cigars! Seriously!

    • Pat October 26, 2014 at 12:19 am - Reply

      I drink Tequila and OJ or a wine cooler (2 or 3) just to relax to go to sleep. My attitude Is certainly not that of a drunk, and I don’t smoke. And I only have drinks (that I really like) to get to sleep, since I get up 3-4 am. Normally I can sleep nearly 12 hours after working all week, and don’t need a drink if I’m not having to get up early. Smoking and drinking do seem to go together, but what is a sin in my opinion is a slothful attitude, or putting harmful things into your body that have a negative affect on health. I have seen plenty of men claiming to be Christian on dating sites, but they obviously don’t know what being a Christian who puts God first is like As real Christians, we have to be wise and learn to discern the conscientious from the lazy drunks.

  2. me October 24, 2014 at 2:12 pm - Reply

    Do many people have disagreements with counselors and how have you shared them with the counselor and how receptive have they been?

  3. CRC October 24, 2014 at 4:14 pm - Reply

    For the lady talking about marriage with guy who is concerned about the theological differences.

    You were given bad advice. The differences that you have are huge! He believes in baptismal regeneration, which is a heresy. Under his theology, despite Christ’s words onn teh cross, the thief that repented was not saved since he was not baptised.

    If you get married, he will be a spiritual leader to you and any future children. Do you want him to teach your children and you that you must do a work to get saved (baptism) and that you can lose your salvation? What church would you go to? He could not join a church that teaches that baptism is not necessary for salvation and you cannot join one that does.

    He needs to be given the Gospel – that all you need to be saved is repentance and faith in Jesus alone for his salvation.

    Also, I did not catch the reason for his divorce. was it for Biblical reasons? Can he be remarried or would you both be committing adultery?

    I would advise you to seek the counsel of your elders at your church and to avoid marriage with him right now.

    Doctrine and theology matters.

    • CRC October 24, 2014 at 4:16 pm - Reply

      Sorry about the typo, I meant to say…

      What church would you go to? He could not join a church that teaches that baptism is not necessary for salvation and you cannot join one that teaches that it is necessary for salvation.

      I would press him on other theological issues as well. There are often other problems in denominations that believe in baptismal regeneration.

    • Anita October 24, 2014 at 5:35 pm - Reply

      In addition to my comment above about the use of alcohol for witnessing to the lost , I also totally agree with CRCs comments above about theology. All of his/her concerns aligned with mine as I listened to the broadcast.
      Very concerning to me what is being presented on this show.

  4. Susan October 24, 2014 at 4:27 pm - Reply

    I truly believe he didn’t mean any harm by his comments. Steve always talks about how important recovery is. I didn’t appreciate Shannon’s comment about whiskey, which started the whole conversation. But they are human. I have been listening for over two years not to mention gone to their workshops and for me they are biblically sound. Thanks new life for being the instrument god used to save my previously empty marriage and suicidal life.

  5. Lily October 28, 2014 at 1:20 pm - Reply

    Dear Ms. I’m dating Mr. Long distance with 3 children and your biggest concern is your theological differences? Call me crazy but there a lot of other red flags that I’d be concerned about like you’re going to be inheriting 3 children that may have emotional injuries because of the divorce. Entering into a blended family is no joke and its not fun, particularly for a single who has never been married. This is not going to be the “brady bunch” and those kids may not welcome or even like you.

    Secondly you’re dating him long distance and he can’t even afford to see you? You’re entering into a situation where you are going to be financially responsible for those children whether you like it or not. If I were you I would let this one go because he’s not going to be able to meet your emotional or financial needs. I think you’re in a fantasy and its time to face the reality of this situation;

    Its not impossible to have a relationship with him but its going to be MIGHTY HARD!!! You’re already going to be in a deficit in so many ways and its going to be an uphill battle from the start. Marriage is already hard as it is without all these caveats.

    I’m sure he’s a great dad given that he’s taking care of his children and is doing everything he can for them; that is very commendable and his priority and responsibility are those children…the question is can you handle being second, third, or even fourth fiddle?

    You’re a smart woman and there are plenty of fellas who are out there who can take good care of you! MOVE ON!!!

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