When Tragedy Strikes

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. – Psalm 46:1, 11

When Tragedy Strikes

Knowing how to respond to tragedy is never easy.  Maybe it’s the terrible sense of loss you feel.  Perhaps it’s the desire to know why the tragic event happened that leaves you feeling alienated and alone.  Was it something you did?  Was it someone else’s fault?  Why did God allow it to happen?  These questions usually go unanswered because ‘Why?‘ is almost always the wrong question.

Remember Job?  The Bible tells us Job was a godly man.  Yet, he lost everything . . . his wealth, family, and his health.  Why did all of this happen, especially to such a good man?  When you read the story of Job, you’ll discover his suffering was the result of spiritual warfare.  Yet, Job didn’t know this.  His friends accused him of secret sin.  And as time passed Job grew increasingly upset and confused, he even began to question God’s sense of justice.

In the end, however, Job’s arguments were silenced before God.  While God never explained fully to Job why the disasters had befallen him, he did bring Job to a place of humble surrender.  This increased Job’s understanding of God and gave him the proper perspective to continue life.  Neither Job nor any other man who has suffered a serious loss can ever fully understand why a catastrophe has happened.  But if you’re willing to seek God and surrender your life  and your situation into his powerful hands, he’ll do a work in you and through you that will restore your spirit and bring Him honor and glory.

– Steve Arterburn

Tears are often the telescope by which men see far into heaven. – Henry Ward Beecher

Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved. – Helen Keller

New Life Live: March 3, 2016


Topics: Separation, Anger, Sexual Integrity, Avoiders, Grief, Teens
Hosts: Steve Arterburn, Dr. Jill Hubbard, Milan Yerkovich

Caller Questions:

  1. After a past affair, my husband wants to separate but still visit on the weekends. How do I respond?
  2. How do we fix our marriage while I am living in a camper on the side of the house?
  3. My wife did not respond when I told her about the STDs that I am sure she gave to me. What next?
  4. How do I help my 15yo daughter grieve the loss of her father to suicide? She won’t go to school.

Suggested Resources:
Healing Is a Choice
Every Man’s Bible
How We Love
Forgiving the Unforgivable

Subscribe to the NEW LIFE LIVE Podcast via iTunes or streaming audio from Stitcher, the Smart Radio App.

Scary Truth vs. Deadly Denial

To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. – John 8:32

Scary Truth vs. Deadly Denial

Truth is a scary thing. Sometimes it frightens us into a ‘see no evil‘ way of life. Why? Well, for some of you life’s been incredibly difficult. You’ve survived what you hope is the worst and have no interest in further suffering. Denial may be the only coping mechanism you know, and you’d rather endure miserable circumstances than the painful discomfort of change that acknowledging the truth will require.

Ending denial brings with it the threat of loss. And people sometimes resist seeing the truth and accepting reality because of it. Accepting the consequences of truth may cause the loss of income, possessions, family, friends, or prestige.

What people seldom recognize, however, is that denial has even worse consequences, like the loss of life, emotionally, spiritually, and sometimes, even physically. Friends, truth is scary. But its alternative, denial, is worse than scary, it’s deadly.

Remember, Christ told us that once we hold to His teaching, the truth will set us free!

– Steve Arterburn

Truth, is as old as God,
His Twin identity
And will endure as long as He
A Co-Eternity.” -Emily Dickinson (1830-1886)

Letting Go of Bitter Resentment

Letting Go of  Bitter Resentment
If you are having a hard time releasing a resentment or grieving a loss, there is an answer. It takes work, but there are a few steps you can take to upgrade your life by finding forgiveness and letting go of bitterness that is weighing you down. Click below to watch.
Find out more about New Life TV here.

Ten Reasons You should Attend our Healing is a Choice Workshop

If you have been thinking about attending our Healing is a Choice Workshop we wanted to give you a few more reasons to think about.


1. If you can’t figure out what is not working in your life and you are losing hope.

2. If you are stuck in a situation or relationship, have tried everything and nothing is helping.

3. If you want to transform your brokenness into a real life mission.

4. If you have had angry outbursts and feel out of control. Discover why you are angry and what you can do about it.

5. If you have experienced grief over a tremendous loss (death of a loved one, abortion, job loss, financial loss) and  feel like you’ll never recover.

6. Is your life crippled by fear? If you feel anxious and are unable to find relief, if you want to break free from the “what ifs”.

7. If you have experienced abuse or neglect and are unable to fully heal. If you want to begin to peel the onion of unforgiveness and set your heart free.

8. If you want to break free from your shame and guilt, become fully alive and experience God’s grace!

9. If you feel like your dreams get derailed? Sometimes a pattern of attitudes, habits or relationships won’t allow you to move forward.

10.  If you disappointed with God, feel let down and would you like to move forward?

Here’s what Wendy had to say about her Healing is a Choice experience.


More testimonies . . . 

New Life Live: May 8, 2013


Topics: AffairsDivorceAdoptionControllerGriefPornographySexual IntegrityParent Issues
Hosts: Steve ArterburnDr. John TownsendDr. Dave Stoop
Caller Questions:

  1. My husband had an affair; can I divorce him biblically? 
  2. At what age do I tell our grandbaby his aunt is his mom and his mom is his aunt? 
  3. My wife says I control her and should help with the kids. 
  4. How can I help families who are grieving over the loss of a child? 
  5. My husband is into porn; is it my fault? 
  6. Should my 52yo daughter stop having a relationship with her horrible father? 

Suggested Resources:
Healing Is A Choice
How We Love
Every Heart Restored
Forgiving Our Parents

Subscribe to the NEW LIFE LIVE Podcast via iTunes or streaming audio from Stitcher, the Smart Radio App.

New Life Live: April 26, 2011


Steve Arterburn, Dr. Jill Hubbard, Milan Yerkovich

Discussion Topics:
Grief, getting unstuck, marriage, adult children, sexual integrity.

Caller Questions:
1. How do I get back my joy after loss and disability?
2. I can’t move on after my recent divorce from an abusive marriage.
3. My marriage is on the rocks; what should I do?
4. Should I intervene? My 19yo daughter is living with a 33yo married man.
5. My husband attended Every Man’s Battle 2yrs ago but he didn’t follow up with it.

Suggested Resources:
Healing Is a Choice
How We Love
Grief CD

New Life Live: March 10, 2011


Steve Arterburn, Dr. Jill Hubbard, Milan Yerkovich

Discussion Topics:
Marriage, grief, self worth and confidence.

Caller Questions:
1. My ex wants to leave her new husband and reconcile; good idea?
2. Should I grieve the loss of never having kids?
3. My 16yo husband won’t stop talking about his previous girlfriends.
4. I lost desire for sexual intimacy with my husband.
5. Should I confront a friend of the family who is lying?

Suggested Resources:
How We Love
healing Is a Choice
Better Than Ever

Powerlessness And How It Can Help You

Most of us hate feeling powerless and indeed, it is not very good for us especially for extended periods of time. It can lead to depression, anxiety, outbursts of anger, alienation from others, physical symptoms and, in it’s trauma form, it can lead to the symptoms of Post traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD (e.g. nightmares, flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, and loss of concentration or memory to name a few)

Sometimes powerlessness comes from circumstances we have little or no control over. Other times it comes from the consequences of our actions. The latter can be even more frustrating because we may say, “I could have done something different”. We ruminate and replay the situation over and over. This can be helpful if we can process it into lessons learned, insight, awareness about others, or ourselves and character growth.

It is interesting to note that sometimes powerlessness can be very powerful. When Jesus surrenders to the cross, His powerlessness redeems the whole world. This is illustrated, again, in the fictional Star Wars movie were Obe Wan allows himself to be slain by Darth Vader only to come back as a ghost to aid Luke in fighting the Empire. The Apostle Paul talks about his powerlessness with an affliction he has and how it helps him grow and be empowered. Joseph’s powerlessness in the Old Testament is the seed for his rise to power in the house of Pharaoh. Despite his brother’s plot against him, he is faithful and God sends him before his family to redeem them in their day of need. After they realize that the brother they sold into slavery is now in power over them, the brothers hear him say “You meant it for evil but God meant it for good”

Dealing with powerlessness is a tricky matter sometimes.

First we must realize that powerlessness in not necessarily, hopelessness.
Powerlessness may just mean you are not in control right now.

Second, it is important to admit our powerlessness to God and others.
This gets us out of the way sometimes and allows God to work in areas where we do not have the ability or opportunity to change things. Telling others about our powerlessness can be a request to help with need and, as a part of that, a place to get emotional support through listening, different perspective, advice, shared troubles/grief and accountability to change course as well as giving us structure.

Third, deal with powerlessness by processing it.
Write down what you are feeling and thinking, what you believe about yourself, the situation, what you may have done that contributed to the situation, what others may have contributed to the situation and what is purely circumstantial. Try to avoid “All or Nothing” thinking. The “All Is Lost” mentality is not very helpful. Slowing things down and evaluating the situation is usually better in the short and long run. Nehemiah puts this into action when he feels powerless at first to deal with greedy nobles who are loan sharking their fellow Hebrews right back into slavery. He slows down his anger and brings the nobles to task.

Fourth, after the initial shock wears off, try seeing where the processing leads you.
What does it tell you about the situation, yourself, others involved, your motives, your priorities, lessons learned, and how you can grow from it.

Over all powerlessness is not something to be desired but it is, essentially, unavoidable in life. How we deal with it and use it to grow and move closer to God and others is the key.

The Secrets Of God And Men

Steve Arterburn

Secrets aren’t necessarily a bad thing. If they were, God wouldn’t have them. Yet Scripture tells us that God keeps some things completely to himself. The Bible calls these the ‘secret things’ of God. But if it’s acceptable for God to keep secrets, why isn’t it completely acceptable for us men to do likewise?


One key difference between God’s secrets and ours lies in the area of motive. Being perfect and pure, God has reasons for keeping secrets that reflect His flawless character. Fallen men, on the other hand, are neither perfect nor pure. Therefore, a man’s motives for keeping secrets are suspect.


The bottom line is this, and every man knows it: most of your secrets are kept out of fear’fear of embarrassment, shame, guilt, loss of respect, loss of stature and favor, repercussions, reparations, and so on. In other words, men usually keep secrets for all the wrong reasons. Understandable reasons perhaps, but wrong nonetheless.


Beyond being wrong, your secrets are also destructive. They divide you against yourself. They cause isolation and lack of honesty in your relationships with others. And finally, they provide the context in which sin thrives.


By way of contrast, exposing secrets to the light of truth robs them of their power to hold and harm you. It fosters humility, creates accountability, and allows you to be restored by the grace and love of God and your loved ones. Men, honesty truly is the best policy.