Who Buys Pornography?

For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. These are what make a man unclean . . .Matthew 15:19-20a

Who Buys Pornography?

The United States Advisory Board for Social Concerns reports that minors read over 70 percent of all pornographic magazines. Further estimates indicate that most hardcore porn viewers are under twenty years old. To a large extent, then, our nation’s young people are financing the pornographic industry.

Further still, adults who seek treatment for pornography addiction almost always attest to exposure during childhood. Whether these adults are involved in multiple affairs, self-gratification, or prostitution, they usually share the experience of getting started years earlier with what seemed to be harmless magazines containing nude photographs.

My point is this: if you have a teenager, he or she is a target for the pornography industry. Therefore, be observant of their behavior and prepared to take immediate action if pornography is discovered. If you discover evidence of porn usage—a phone bill, a book, a magazine, a video—don’t simply take the child’s word that it was a one-time experience. In most cases, it’s the tip of the iceberg.

Adolescents caught up in this problem are usually much too ashamed to ask for help and too emotionally immature to realize there may be a problem. So even if your child has a history of honesty, it’s much wiser to at least consider that your child may be trying to hide a bigger problem. If you ignore the evidence, you may be ignoring you child’s subconscious attempt to get help.

– Steve Arterburn

Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.” – Mark Twain (1835–1910)

New Life Live: April 24, 2015

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Topics: Christian WalkAsperger’sPornographyBoundariesDating 
Hosts: Steve ArterburnDr. Jill HubbardMilan Yerkovich

Caller Questions:

  1. Is it biblical that I see angels all dressed in white? 
  2. What can I do when my husband acts like a child because of his Asperger’s Syndrome?
  3. Is it OK to withhold sex from my husband until he gets help for his porn and emotional affairs? 
  4. How do I encourage my fiancée to get help for her porn use? 

Suggested Resources:
How We Love
Worthy of Her Trust
7 Minute Marriage Solution

Here is the Every Man’s Battle workshop testimony Steve read on the radio today:

This time that I have spent with the men and counselor has been life changing. The addiction has taken over my life to the point I have lost the two most important people in my life: first God and then my wife of 38 years. She gave me three chances and after being sober for 4 years I had a slip and that was too much for her. EMB has shown me why I have to use porn as my drug of choice and that the shame keeps me in my cycle. w that God has forgiven me and still loves me. I don’t know if my wife ever will be able to, but I have to focus on God and trust in Him and his plan for me. This has been a safe place and the men here make it safe. I am afraid of leaving, but know that I have to and that I have tools to use and I have God with me. Thank you so much EMB! – Gary

Subscribe to the NEW LIFE LIVE Podcast via iTunes or streaming audio from Stitcher, the Smart Radio App.

New Life Live: March 30, 2015

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Topics: PornographyMarriageBoundariesCodependencyAnger 
Hosts: Steve ArterburnDr. Dave StoopDr. Jill Hubbard

Caller Questions:

  1. My husband thinks his porn use is no big deal and dismisses my feelings; what do I do now? 
  2. How do I convince my friend to not give up on his rocky marriage? 
  3. Why do I have anger and resentment when I have to say no? 

Suggested Resources:
Forgiving the Unforgivable
Worthy of Her Trust
Just Us
Healing Is a Choice

This is the Every Man’s Battle testimony Steve read on the radio today:

I was angry when I came to EMB, but I didn’t know why. I wrestled with whether I was here because my heart is truly repentant or simply because I got caught. I love the Lord, but I am a proud man. I enjoyed pornography, but when I indulged, the Holy Spirit would convict me. I have tried numerous times on my own to quit, but have not been successful. I realize that if my heart is not truly repentant, EMB and this weekend is just a waste of my time and money. I have decided and I am resolved to be a man of sexual integrity. If my wife stays or goes, if my friends know or don’t know, if my church family thinks I am a hypocrite. I am ready. EMB has given me hope, but more than just the fleeting kind of hope that I have experienced before an emotional high after a fiery sermon or motivational talk. My hope is now based on examples of men I met who are victorious over this struggle and have given me Biblically based practical tools I can use to have lasting success. – Will


Subscribe to the NEW LIFE LIVE Podcast via iTunes or streaming audio from Stitcher, the Smart Radio App.

New Life Live: December, 3, 2014

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Topics: Childhood TraumaPornographySiblingsSexual Integrity 
Hosts: Steve ArterburnMilan Yerkovich

Caller Questions:

  1. I can’t forgive my family for a lifetime of hurt; how do I get peace? 
  2. My newlywed brother-in-law is into porn and he won’t connect with us; what else can we do? 
  3. It scares me that my husband contacts ex-girlfriends on Facebook, especially since he had an affair after we got married. 

Suggested Resources:
Healing Is a Choice
Every Man’s Battle
Worthy of Her Trust

Subscribe to the NEW LIFE LIVE Podcast via iTunes or streaming audio from Stitcher, the Smart Radio App.

New Life Live: November 20, 2014

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Topics: PornographySexual IntegrityGuiltBoundariesPhysical Abuse, ParentingCounseling 
Hosts: Steve ArterburnDr. John TownsendDr. Dave Stoop

Caller Questions:

  1. My husband said it’s no big deal when I caught him using porn. 
  2. I put my husband in jail for physical abuse; how do I stop feeling guilty? 
  3. My alcoholic, sex-addicted husband wants me to humble myself before he’ll get any help. 
  4. As a therapist, will I have a problem with dual relationships if I start a group in my small church? 

Suggested Resources:
Healing Is a Choice
Forgiving the Unforgivable

Subscribe to the NEW LIFE LIVE Podcast via iTunes or streaming audio from Stitcher, the Smart Radio App.

New Life Live: October 21, 2014

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Topics: MarriageDatingPornographySexual IntegrityBoundariesLeadership 
Hosts: Steve ArterburnDr. Henry CloudDr. Dave Stoop

Caller Questions:

  1. My ex-husband and I are dating, but I just found out he wants to date ten other women.
  2. I am starting to hate my husband because of his porn; how do I forgive him? 
  3. Is Changes That Heal a book that needs to be read and processed with a small group or can I go through it by myself? 
  4. How can I be a good manager after being unemployed so long? 

Suggested Resources:
7 Minute Marriage Solution
Every Man’s Battle
Changes That Heal
Healing Is a Choice
Boundaries for Leaders

Subscribe to the NEW LIFE LIVE Podcast via iTunes or streaming audio from Stitcher, the Smart Radio App.

New Life Live: April 18, 2014

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Topics: SalvationSexual IntegrityPornographyDatingAnxiety
Hosts: Steve ArterburnDr. Jill HubbardMilan Yerkovich

Caller Questions:

  1. Interview with Molly about tv.newlife.com 
  2. As I get older, how can I be sure I am going to heaven? 
  3. I caught my husband in emotional affairs and watching porn; should I insist on counseling or separate? 
  4. Can I love and hate my ex-boyfriend at the same time? 
  5. How can I stop constant worry and anxiety from wreaking havoc in my life? 
  6. What is the best way to establish a relationship with my 26yo niece? 

Suggested Resources:
Every Man’s Bible
Every Man’s Battle
Is This The One
How We Love
Walking Into Walls

Subscribe to the NEW LIFE LIVE Podcast via iTunes or streaming audio from Stitcher, the Smart Radio App.

New Life Live: April 17, 2014

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Topics: DatingParentingMarijuanaMarriageIntimacyPornography For WomenSexual Integrity
Hosts: Steve ArterburnDr. Jill HubbardMilan Yerkovich

Caller Questions:

  1. Is it OK for my wife to use porn? 
  2. My husband doesn’t want me to be friends with his Facebook friends; is that wrong? 
  3. I planned to go on dates with 25 women, but I really like the first one; should I stop? 
  4. How can I confront my 17yo daughter about smoking pot? 
  5. Why don’t I crave sex after 14yrs of marriage? 

Suggested Resources:
7 Minute Marriage Solution
Is This The One
How We Love Our Kids

Subscribe to the NEW LIFE LIVE Podcast via iTunes or streaming audio from Stitcher, the Smart Radio App.

New Life Live: July 24, 2013

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Topics: Sexual AbuseBlended FamiliesAffairsPornographyConfrontation
Hosts: Steve ArterburnDr. Dave StoopDr. Jill Hubbard
Caller Questions:

  1. How can we confront my father-in-law for taking an inappropriate photo of his daughter?
  2. My 16yo daughter moved in with her dad because she doesn’t like her new stepdad. Should I force her to move back? 
  3. My wife has had multiple affairs and I can’t get past this last one. 
  4. Should we confront my brother for looking at porn online? His wife doesn’t seem to mind.
  5. Is it a good idea to intervene on my friend’s behalf while she is in a mental hospital? 

Suggested Resources:
Every Man’s Battle
Forgiving Our Parents
When You Love Too Much
7 Minute Marriage Solution
Secrets Women Keep

Subscribe to the NEW LIFE LIVE Podcast via iTunes or streaming audio from Stitcher, the Smart Radio App.

New Life Live: May 30, 2013

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Topics: GamblingParentingPornographyDepressionAttention Deficit Disorder
Hosts: Steve ArterburnDr. Henry CloudDr. Jill Hubbard
Caller Questions:

  1. What boundaries can I put in place for my chronic gambler husband? 
  2. How do I talk with my 16yo rebellious daughter who had sex with her boyfriend? 
  3. Is there help for my wife who uses porn and masturbates? 
  4. My husband was into porn for 17yrs and fell back into it after trying to quit. 
  5. What will help my depression and ADHD? 

Suggested Resources:
Raising Great Kids
How To Have That Difficult Conversation
7 Minute Marriage Solution
Every Heart Restored
Healing Is a Choice

Subscribe to the NEW LIFE LIVE Podcast via iTunes or streaming audio from Stitcher, the Smart Radio App.