New Life Live: September 1, 2014


Topics: MarriageFriendshipBipolarEmotional AbuseFear & Anxiety 
Hosts: Steve Arterburn and Guest Host Marilyn Meberg

Caller Questions:

  1. My husband will not ask for insurance coverage at work and I feel slighted. 
  2. How do I find direction after betrayal? 
  3. Is there a way to help heal a relationship between my friend and her daughter? 
  4. What therapy options are available for my daughter’s bipolar boyfriend? 
  5. I am separated from my emotionally abusive husband; why do I feel guilty and fearful? 

Suggested Resources:
7 Minute Marriage Solution
5 Blind Spots

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New Life Marriage Weekend Workshop Testimony

Marriage Weekend Testimony

Before this weekend, my marriage was in crisis mode. Communication was non-existent and my husband and I were each holding on to so much pride and bitterness that we were stuck and unwilling to move forward. We did not leave any room for God to work in the marriage.

Marriage Solution Workshop - Testimonial

This weekend has been transformational. We have let go of anger, bitterness, and self-righteousness. We have committed to moving forward and using all the skills and techniques to do the hard work in order to have the marriage that God desires for us.

I leave here with hope that we are both willing to stop doing all the old patterns and sinful behaviors that were destroying our marriage and do the work to let God transform the marriage and make it in to what he wants. It’s going to be hard work but now we both have a spirit of willingness to do that work. This weekend will give you completely new ways and tools to use to break all your old patterns. It gives a completely new framework for marriage. ~ Betsey

Temptations Everywhere

Temptations Everywhere

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. - 1 Corinthians 10:13 NIV


If you stop to think about it, the cold, hard evidence is right in front of your eyes: you live in a temptation-filled world. The devil is out on the street, hard at work, causing pain, stress, and heartache in more ways than ever before. Here in the 21st century, the bad guys are working around the clock to lead you astray. That’s why you must remain vigilant.

In a letter to believers, Peter offered a stern warning: “Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8 NASB). What was true in New Testament times is equally true in our own. Satan tempts his prey and then devours them. As believing Christians, we must beware. And, if we seek righteousness in our own lives, we must earnestly wrap ourselves in the protection of God’s Holy Word. When we do, we are secure.

In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus went through agony of soul in His efforts to resist the temptation to do what He felt like doing rather than what He knew was God’s will for Him. ~Joyce Meyer

Temptation is not a sin. Even Jesus was tempted. The Lord Jesus gives you the strength needed to resist temptation. ~Corrie Ten Boom

Lord, life is filled with temptations to stray from your chosen path. But, I face no temptation that You have not already met and conquered through my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, the One who empowers me with His strength and His love. Amen

Listening To Guilt

Listening To Guilt

There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. - Romans 8:1 NKJV


All of us have made mistakes. Sometimes, we are swept up by events that encourage us to behave in ways that we later come to regret. And sometimes, even when our intentions are honorable, we make errors in judgment that have long-lasting consequences. When we look back at our actions with remorse, we may experience intense feelings of guilt. But God has an answer for the guilt that we feel. That answer is His forgiveness.

Sometimes, long after God has forgiven us, we may continue to withhold forgiveness from ourselves. Instead of accepting God’s mercy and accepting our past, we may think far too long and hard about the things that ‘might have been,’ the things that ‘could have been,’ or the things that ‘should have been.’

Are you troubled by feelings of guilt, even after you’ve received God’s forgiveness? Are you still struggling with painful memories of mistakes you made long ago? Are you focused so intently on yesterday that your vision of today is clouded? If so, you still have work to do’spiritual work. You should ask your Heavenly Father not for forgiveness (He granted that gift the very first time you asked Him!) but instead for acceptance and trust: acceptance of the past and trust in God’s plan for your life.

If you find yourself plagued by feelings of guilt or shame, consult God’s survival guide: His Holy Word. And as you do so, consider the following Biblically-based tips for overcoming those feelings of guilt once and for all:

1. Stop doing the things that make you feel guilty: How can you expect not to feel guilty if you should feel guilty? (Acts 26:20)
2. Ask God for forgiveness. When you ask for it, He will give it. (1 John 1:9)
3. Ask forgiveness from the people you have harmed: This step is hard, but helpful. And even if the other folks cannot find it in their hearts to forgive you, you have the satisfaction of knowing that you asked. (Proverbs 28:13)
4. Forgive yourself: if you’re no longer misbehaving, it’s the right thing to do. And today is the right day to do it. (Romans 14:22)
5. Become more diligent in your daily time of prayer and Bible study. A regular time of quiet reflection and prayer will allow you to praise your Creator, to focus your thoughts, to remind yourself of His love, and to seek His guidance in matters great and small. (Isaiah 50:45)
6. Get busy making the world a better place. Now that God has forgiven you, it’s time for you to show your gratitude by serving Him. (Matthew 23:11-12)

Guilt is a gift that leads us to grace. - Franklin Graham

Today’s Prayer
Lord Jesus, help me to forgive myself as you forgive me. Amen.



This Workshop helped me be a better Relator

This Workshop helped me be a better Relator

Marriage WorkshopMy life before this marriage weekend was horrible. I avoided all issues and tried to to please my wife in ways other than on a relational and emotional level. I wanted to spend more time at work rather than deal with my wife at home. This marriage weekend has taught me better ways to communicate and relate to my wife, and how to comfort her. I also learned how to release and open up. Anyone considering this marriage workshop should definitely go to this life altering weekend. – Mike



The Avoider

Stress, Intimacy and Attachment Styles – The Avoider

In Part 2 of our series on “Turning Stress into Opportunities For Intimacy,” Kay & Milan Yerkovich, authors of How We Love, share personal experiences that help define ‘THE AVOIDER’ and teach us how to work with it. Click on the image below to watch.


Sloth Destroys Character

Sloth Destroys Character

But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 3:13-14 NIV


If you’d like a surefire formula for tearing down your character, here it is: do everything you can to avoid doing an honest day’s work. But if you’d like a proven formula for building character, do your work with vigor, dedication, and enthusiasm.

You’ve probably heard the advice since you were a child: ‘Give the boss an honest day’s work for an honest day’s pay.’ But sometimes, you’ll be tempted to do otherwise. Why? For starters, no job is perfect’and that means that your job isn’t perfect, either. So, from time to time, you’ll probably become upset with your job, and it is during these times, when you’re frustrated or upset, that you’ll be tempted to gripe, to waste time, and to do little else. Avoid these temptations they’re self-destructive.

Even if you’re planning on quitting your job tomorrow, give your boss a full day’s work today. Otherwise, you’ll be developing a very bad habit: the habit of giving less than 100%. It’s a character- destroying trait, an easy habit to acquire and a difficult habit to break.

If you’re looking for folks to waste time with, you can probably find them just about anywhere’including your workplace. But if you’re looking for a meaningful life (not to mention a career that you love), make up your mind to be the kind of person whose work speaks (in glowing terms) for itself. When you do, you’ll discover that when you give your best, you enjoy work the most.

The worst thing that laziness does is rob a man of spiritual purpose. Billy Graham

The only cure for laziness is to be filled with the life of God. Oswald Chambers

Work is such a beautiful and helpful thing, and independence so delightful that I wonder why there are any lazy people in the world. Louisa May Alcott


Ten Things I Want Every Survivor of Abuse to Know

Ten Things I Want Every Survivor of Abuse to Know


1. You are older, wiser, stronger and safer now.

2. Forgiveness is a path you must eventually travel down.

3. As it says in Mathew 18:10 – God was aware of your abuse.

4. The person who abused you does not represent others in your life today.

5. Grief work is a huge part of abuse recovery.

6. If you have a tendency to become an abuser, although it would seem to be unlikely, it’s a sign that further work is needed.

7. It was not your fault in any way.

8. Turn things around as soon as you can so you can help others (but see number 9)

9. Give yourself plenty of time to heal.

10. You are not damaged goods. You are pure and clean in the eyes of God.

Bonus Point: We love you here at New Life.

Divorce Proof your Marriage

Divorce Proof Your Marriage

Divorce is an all-too-common reality in our society. How can we protect our marriages? Dr. Dave Stoop has a few simple methods to keep couples together, and there are even studies to prove they work. Click the image below for the answer to how to divorce-proof your marriage!


The Art of Acceptance

The Art of Acceptance

Come to terms with God and be at peace;  in this way good will come to you. - Job 22:21 HCSB


Sometimes, we must accept life on its terms, not our own. Life has a way of unfolding, not as we will, but as it will. And sometimes, there is precious little we can do to change things.

When events transpire that are beyond our control, we have a choice: we can either learn the art of acceptance, or we can make ourselves miserable as we struggle to change the unchangeable.

We must entrust the things we cannot change to God. Once we have done so, we can prayerfully and faithfully tackle the important work that He has placed before us: doing something about the things we can change . . . and doing it sooner rather than later.

Can you summon the courage and the wisdom to accept life on its own terms? If so, you’ll most certainly be rewarded for your good judgment.

Surrender to the Lord is not a tremendous sacrifice, not an agonizing performance. It is the most sensible thing you can do.   ~Corrie Ten Boom

He does not need to transplant us into a different field. He transforms the very things that were before our greatest hindrances, into the chief and most blessed means of our growth. No difficulties in your case can baffle Him. Put yourself absolutely into His hands, and let Him have His own way with you.   ~Elisabeth Elliot

Ultimately things work out best for those who make the best of the way things work out.   ~Barbara Johnson

Father, the events of this world unfold according to a plan that I cannot fully understand. But You understand. Help me to trust You, Lord, even when I am grieving. Help me to trust You even when I am confused. Today, in whatever circumstances I find myself, let me trust Your will and accept Your love . . . completely. Amen